Suffering,Liberty scarves and family history
Well still suffering bad side effects from this med,honestly I can never say enough bad things about this med,it has ruined me truly.I would give anything to be off it,but my body is in too fragile a state to even contemplate any further withdrawl.So I'm stuck on it while it ruins me,I hope to be off it in six months maybe.I really have had enough of everything.Yesterday was a bit better I spent the afternoon looking at the new Liberty scarves they are so beautiful and I was able to swoon at them which makes me think I am improving a bit.
I liked this one best of all :Lodden andthis one and wish someone would purchase one for me.Everytime though I think I'm improving I think how much I'd like things to be how they were,wishing I was watching atonement completely swept up (I miss those atonement nights terribly) or feeling the full sway of Christmas.I did not realise what a profound and magical thing the Christmas spirit was till I could not feel it.Oh I will weep if I think of how things have changed.
I got my antique locket I bought on etsy,I was dissapointed with it,it felt junky and light compared to the jewellery I make,but I don't think I understand Victorian pieces were like this so I'm trying to like it and wear it.Its a beautiful shield design.Ive no idea who I'll put in this little locket.Maybe just a little piece of paper with some poetry written on it enclosed.I got a delicate little Victorian ball charm too that I'm going to put on a nice bracelet,it's really dainty and sweet.I really wish there were more "who do you think you are" episodes to watch - I watched this guy yesterday,I have no idea who he is but I liked learning his family history, he really did look like his third great grandmother who they found a painting of.I also watched Annie Lennox family history,I'm not familiar with her but my god watching how people in poverty suffered,working the mills at 13.I am interested in anyone's family history,it just fascinates me.I highly reccomend watching the show.I enjoyed doing the laundry and tidying and absolutely love fresh laundered quilts,so cosy and nesting.
I have a busy week ahead with too many things to see too,I really wish I could just retire from life when it all becomes too much,go stay at some great aunts house and just completely restore and not worry anymore.I need support so much and really don't have it.Its still the depths of winter here which I adore..being all cosy inside, but I do want to get out of this bleak period of my life,I want to be under the sun,well and thriving I can't even remember anymore life before a torrid of troubles.This is by far and away the hardest my life has been and I don't even want to bring to my dear little blog so much tears when it was once full of novel writing,ancient books and bright hopes.But life is in season and I can't remove myself from this time as much as I wish I could,this too belongs.This year was one of the happiest and worst years of my life truly.
I liked this one best of all :Lodden andthis one and wish someone would purchase one for me.Everytime though I think I'm improving I think how much I'd like things to be how they were,wishing I was watching atonement completely swept up (I miss those atonement nights terribly) or feeling the full sway of Christmas.I did not realise what a profound and magical thing the Christmas spirit was till I could not feel it.Oh I will weep if I think of how things have changed.
I got my antique locket I bought on etsy,I was dissapointed with it,it felt junky and light compared to the jewellery I make,but I don't think I understand Victorian pieces were like this so I'm trying to like it and wear it.Its a beautiful shield design.Ive no idea who I'll put in this little locket.Maybe just a little piece of paper with some poetry written on it enclosed.I got a delicate little Victorian ball charm too that I'm going to put on a nice bracelet,it's really dainty and sweet.I really wish there were more "who do you think you are" episodes to watch - I watched this guy yesterday,I have no idea who he is but I liked learning his family history, he really did look like his third great grandmother who they found a painting of.I also watched Annie Lennox family history,I'm not familiar with her but my god watching how people in poverty suffered,working the mills at 13.I am interested in anyone's family history,it just fascinates me.I highly reccomend watching the show.I enjoyed doing the laundry and tidying and absolutely love fresh laundered quilts,so cosy and nesting.
I have a busy week ahead with too many things to see too,I really wish I could just retire from life when it all becomes too much,go stay at some great aunts house and just completely restore and not worry anymore.I need support so much and really don't have it.Its still the depths of winter here which I adore..being all cosy inside, but I do want to get out of this bleak period of my life,I want to be under the sun,well and thriving I can't even remember anymore life before a torrid of troubles.This is by far and away the hardest my life has been and I don't even want to bring to my dear little blog so much tears when it was once full of novel writing,ancient books and bright hopes.But life is in season and I can't remove myself from this time as much as I wish I could,this too belongs.This year was one of the happiest and worst years of my life truly.
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