really? still havent hit bottom

Nope, there just seems to be a spot lower and lower than what I thought was the lowest. I did just get my computer back today after 3 months and that is a relief, since it was going to be lost after today to the pawn shop, but I also lost my house a few days ago to eviction. This is how it goes for me lately. A little win, (getting my mac back) then a huge loss (losing my home.) The worst thing about being homeless and broke tho, isnt sleeping in car, being alone and lost, changing bags in public restrooms or not showering. The worst thing is not seeing JC because I can't and wouldn't let him couch surf or not have a home EVER. I miss him so much and haven't seen his face for over a week, and that is unbearable.

Leading up to all this and how the last three months since I pawned the mac and couldn't blog, is a sad story of just more of my failures and pain. Someday I hope to look back on all these ****ty life changing lonely years and thank God I have made it through and am once again surrounded and filled with love from friends and family and I can smile again. Someday, I hope and pray.

I will alaborate more on the past months later, now I gotta get ready for the big packing and moving frenzy Sharnna and I are attempting with the help of NOBODY so far. ugh