Why Blue Blogs
Posted 07-17-2008 at 07:58 AM by Miss Blue
I blog for a very personal reason..my children and grandchildren and their generations whom I will never meet in this current life..
There were secrets in my mom's family, that have never been revealed to us, secrets about why my brother was adopted to my aunt? Secrets making me wonder if he is really my twin, because of the connection we had even though we rarely saw each other while growing up..
My mom was a hard worker who did without everything except the bare necessities to take care of her 4 children who lived with her and dad..She took many punishments from dad because of his anger and she protected us as best she could when his anger turned on us..She sang to us in cold dark bedrooms when we went to bed hungry more often than not. She bragged to her friends later when we all grew up about the things we have accomplished..
With all her love and sacrifices though she was a silent person about her childhood, her teen years, and my brothers adoption..No amount of hints, coaxing could get what we could accept as truth from her, her mother or her brother and sister..
During her final illness, she forbade her doctor from releasing any information to us before or after her death at the young age of 71..We know she had copd, and dad told us she also had an aneurysm..
My brothers and sisters never forgiven mom and dad for the life we had growing up, they blame anything bad in their lives to how they were raised
..I never really felt the need to forgive them, because I always felt they loved us, and did the best they could. I understand now as I did as a young adult that dad had an anger problem, but he tried so very hard to "make it up through his grandchildren" and he succeeded..
As a result of all the above, I am very open with my children, they know the good, the bad and the ugly things in my life and much to their fathers dismay, I make sure they also know what has gone on in his family
..His family are the type who turn each and every member into a saint at death, as well as covering the skeltons while they are living..
I think the most important thing we can pass onto our generations is an accurate picture of their history..I think it helps them to overcome some of the things they encounter in their lives..
I have never had the time to keep daily journals of my life, but have held nothing back in conversation..I do express my thoughts best in writing so I have printed out many of my posts on cd and will do the same with my blogs so they will have a written record of my life, my dreams, my failures, my accomplishments and my faith later on down the road..
There were secrets in my mom's family, that have never been revealed to us, secrets about why my brother was adopted to my aunt? Secrets making me wonder if he is really my twin, because of the connection we had even though we rarely saw each other while growing up..
My mom was a hard worker who did without everything except the bare necessities to take care of her 4 children who lived with her and dad..She took many punishments from dad because of his anger and she protected us as best she could when his anger turned on us..She sang to us in cold dark bedrooms when we went to bed hungry more often than not. She bragged to her friends later when we all grew up about the things we have accomplished..
With all her love and sacrifices though she was a silent person about her childhood, her teen years, and my brothers adoption..No amount of hints, coaxing could get what we could accept as truth from her, her mother or her brother and sister..
During her final illness, she forbade her doctor from releasing any information to us before or after her death at the young age of 71..We know she had copd, and dad told us she also had an aneurysm..
My brothers and sisters never forgiven mom and dad for the life we had growing up, they blame anything bad in their lives to how they were raised
..I never really felt the need to forgive them, because I always felt they loved us, and did the best they could. I understand now as I did as a young adult that dad had an anger problem, but he tried so very hard to "make it up through his grandchildren" and he succeeded.. As a result of all the above, I am very open with my children, they know the good, the bad and the ugly things in my life and much to their fathers dismay, I make sure they also know what has gone on in his family
..His family are the type who turn each and every member into a saint at death, as well as covering the skeltons while they are living..I think the most important thing we can pass onto our generations is an accurate picture of their history..I think it helps them to overcome some of the things they encounter in their lives..
I have never had the time to keep daily journals of my life, but have held nothing back in conversation..I do express my thoughts best in writing so I have printed out many of my posts on cd and will do the same with my blogs so they will have a written record of my life, my dreams, my failures, my accomplishments and my faith later on down the road..
Total Comments 6
Comments
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you are leaving behind a legacy to your family, what a great opportunity you have given them all through their lives, and best of all, this tribute for afterwards, allowing them to feel close to you, and to truly know you...what a blessing to not only you, but them as well.Posted 07-17-2008 at 08:33 AM by aiangel_writer
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This hits home. There are things that I try and not remember. Things I too will not tell or speak of. Things that were not intentional but it's what they don't know will not cause hurt. I never endured abuse but the atmosphere some times was unbearable. Remembering the hunger growing up still means I often over buy when at the market. Guess somethings you remember for life. Thanks for sharing and the comfort.Posted 07-17-2008 at 09:53 AM by Nomadicus
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I was thinking of starting a journal, for my kids, little things that happen..
thanks for sharing blue!Posted 07-17-2008 at 10:09 AM by arguy1973
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Blue,
Even in unfortunate situations you seemed to have been a warrior and made it through all of them. You seemed to look for the best. I'm glad that you realized how hard your mom worked for you and your siblings. Someday when you get to meet our makers face he will thank you for your positive outlook and sharing your memories with your family and friends.
Best Wishes,
JoshPosted 07-17-2008 at 02:38 PM by JoshB
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Not only are you leaving behind a legacy to your family, but to all of those whom you have touched with your wisdom. --But indeed, it would almost appear to be something more than just "wisdom." -Something that even this person can only come close to adequately describing as...grace.Posted 07-17-2008 at 04:58 PM by june 7th
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i hear and feel you blue62 ,growing up was not easy for me ... the things as children we go through is not easy but makes us stronger as we grow i hope it does anyways .. but no matter what your mom was a awesome woman ,going through it alone in a way ... but you her children gave her strenght ... i know in her heart she loved all of you and though she was a hard woman taking many secrets to the grave her love was real and for ever ... you i am sure made her proud by being like her strong and positve and wonderful with your own children blue .... your really have a beautiful soul blue ....hugss
Posted 07-17-2008 at 09:45 PM by brenda starz
