Trying to get better,trying to make a livelihood
Well two stressful days that I don't want to lament on.Now trying to come up with ways to make money at home because I don't want to go on a pension(I can't really) and I don't know what else to do.
I've looked at various possibilities,proofreading,user testing,etc,I dabbled with the idea of running the dream site again, but can't really fathom doing it when I'm stressed like this.
Everything feels kind of sad and I feel like just giving up on everything and hiding out.
My happy phantasms whether about historical fiction,tea and scones,him or anything else seem to have wandered off under all the things that must be done.
At the same time I'm dealing with being ill and everything else I go through.Wish I was married,lived in a sweet little townhouse,baking,cooking,had a husband who I could discuss all this with who would likely make me go for the pension and help me make wiser choices.
Miss painting,miss my Celtic studies desperately,looked all morning at yummy ploughmans lunch to make and other recipes.
Oh when will it all be over,I really wonder.
Must try and not worry,attempt to do the things I usually love doing,but with the future so uncertain it's really hard to do that.
I need to go back into the spiritual fold of things,where all this stuff is transient and bigger things hold place.I don't know if worry is helpful but it certainly helps me plan for things.
I've looked at various possibilities,proofreading,user testing,etc,I dabbled with the idea of running the dream site again, but can't really fathom doing it when I'm stressed like this.
Everything feels kind of sad and I feel like just giving up on everything and hiding out.
My happy phantasms whether about historical fiction,tea and scones,him or anything else seem to have wandered off under all the things that must be done.
At the same time I'm dealing with being ill and everything else I go through.Wish I was married,lived in a sweet little townhouse,baking,cooking,had a husband who I could discuss all this with who would likely make me go for the pension and help me make wiser choices.
Miss painting,miss my Celtic studies desperately,looked all morning at yummy ploughmans lunch to make and other recipes.
Oh when will it all be over,I really wonder.
Must try and not worry,attempt to do the things I usually love doing,but with the future so uncertain it's really hard to do that.
I need to go back into the spiritual fold of things,where all this stuff is transient and bigger things hold place.I don't know if worry is helpful but it certainly helps me plan for things.
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