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The other night while I was keeping the hours of a hoot owl, I was flipping through the tv channels seeing all that crap they stick on in the wee hours. One was a 30 minute commercial of a fat lady using a new type of skillet that never needs washing, no matter what kind of slop you burn in it all you have to do is wipe it with a paper towel. Another commercial had a skinny lady who used to be the size of the fat lady with the frying pan but lost her weight when she invented a small plastic box that she steps on and off of while listening to a music CD. I guess you could use just a milk crate but you wouldn't get the CD or the instruction manual that teaches you how not to fall off the box and hurt yourself. There was also one where this guy was talking to a bald man about his follicles and how he could have a full head of hair like he has if he rubs this goo on his noggin everyday for a year. He was demonstrating on a piece of wood on how to apply it, you have to buff it in real good like when you wax a coffee table. If you called in during the commercial they sent you the first tube of goo free. The last commercial I saw had this crook trying to sell a little wire that plugs into your tv enabling you to receive "FREE" channels. They make it sound like you are getting some kind of cable channels when its really just an antenna that you can make yourself to bring in the digital over the air stations you should be getting anyway. There was another commercial that followed that one but it was about acne medicine and they were going to show close-ups of zit faces but I was eating a bowl of cereal and didn't want to lose my appetite so I watched a repeat of the local news instead.