No Nose Noise

keep it kind...keep it kind...keep it kind...Okay, here goes.

I have a puppy. She has a great nose. She can run across the yard, come across a cricket and plant her nose so fast her back end comes off the ground! Great nose! She's put a few miles on the old schnoz but she can still pick up a scent! You should see her get sidetracked on a walk. I don't know where her mind goes. I guess it follows her nose. And I follow her because there are hawks around and she's a very small animal. Piglet size.

I have to pause and consider the noise she makes when she sleeps. I can hear her snoring through the wall. (Her bedroom is an adjacent coat closet.)

But it's not just the snoring that's noisy. When she's tracking something really special, for example a morsel of food that's been dropped on the rug (her eyes aren't nearly as good as her nose and, seemingly much older) she starts to smell really hard. She smells so hard she sounds like a small freight train puffing along the mountain pass. "I think I can I think I can." Well, it's not really a 4-beat puffing noise. It's more like "I can I can I can". She's a smeller!

The other dog does it, too. He's much bigger - about 4 times her size. They're the same age but they're not twins. (They're adopted.) He chugs so hard when he's smelling you can see his rib cage issuing quick little pumps of air. I bet he can't go for long without taking a long snuffle to catch up on his oxygen. You know it's funny that his nose is about the same length as hers. He's not exactly built for smelling. We think he might have Pomeranian in him because of his matchstick legs. A vet even said as much once! Speaking of sidetracked...

Last week I sat in a training class next to my boss's boss. But in class we all take off our rank. Actually he must have missed that part of the class. He monopolized the small group discussion and basically held us captive since he was the boss's boss of everyone in that small group.

The point is - he does something unusual with his nose. I've noticed it once or twice in his office. One never knows. He might have had a cold. No. As he talks his breath comes in broken chugs. Not evenly spaced like the dogs'. And he stretches his nose - you know - like there's something stuck in there on one side? Every now and then he makes an involuntary "hech" as if there's a Yiddish pronunciation to the word he's speaking. Although he is an amazing resource manager he is not of Yiddish speaking descent (that I know of).

But there's something else. When he wasn't talking he continued to make noise. He would sniff and "hech" and twitch and fiddle. All through the class! I wanted to move so badly. I wonder if he realizes he does all that? I wonder if he knows he's so distracting?

I believe it's like a nervous tick and I do forgive him. He's a kind person who works very hard. That's really my top two favorite characteristics in a coworker. Twitching didn't make the list.

I used to read Miss Manners and actually bought her book on Raising Perfect Children. (I obviously should have read the whole thing.) I picture Miss Manners speaking in a snooty British accent. (much like my Aunt Jean who grew up in Poquoson, VA and has never set foot outside of the USofA). I can almost hear her say, "Bodily noises of any sort are unacceptable in polite society." (Miss Manners, not Aunt Jean.)

So I beg of you, unless you drop a cookie under the couch, no nose noise!

Attached Images

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