On Relationships and Pseudo-Psychopathy
I'm a strange cat, and love it. Normal straight-arrow types are simply so boring. I appear that way, to some, but in-reality...
Was reading about dysfunctional relationships again. Not that I particularly seek out the subject, but I do find it interesting to understand where relationships go right, and wrong. A pattern emerges, something I tend to gravitate toward, which to me indicates observer-bias (we seek what we find interesting, or some might say such stuff seeks us).
To wit: Some of us...a small minority, almost certainly...don't form attachments to people. Not for long, at least. Deep down, we really don't care. But at a higher level, society, friends, and similar "want us" (men) to form relationships to fulfill our part of the social contract. We try to do this, out of genuinely good intentions, and entertain the facade for months or even a few years. Feigning interest (lying, essentially, to ourselves and our partners with honestly-good intentions to please another's emotional needs) can't be maintained forever, though. Soon, our true selves come out. Then, it's over, and we can detach rapidly (emotionally). We're mostly relieved, when that finally happens. Whatever occurs afterward is irrelevant, window-dressing in terms of ever dealing with that former partner again.
I have no ex's as friends. Several were nodding acquaintances on Facebook, and before that email, but...little good came of it, for long.
I've met few others like me, but read about them on various forums (them = us, from my perspective). We are not psychopaths, but higher than normal on the psychopathy scale (via psychologically-accepted tests to measure that particular pathology). I think the scale of "psychopathy" has been modified somewhat for latest version of the DSM (V), to component disorders like "narcissism" and "sociopathy" and "schizoid apathy" vs. the former blanket term "psychopath." So I've read, as merely an interested amateur.
Us semi-psychos don't have very much empathy for others, but yet we're not mad dogs out to harm others either. Hope this is making some semblance of sense, and I for one sometimes wish it were otherwise. (Chuckle): most of the time, though, people like us really don't "care" enough to be worried about it, either! I cannot recall visiting a therapist since college, and that was perfunctory for some reason I'm not quite remembering at the moment. Thirty years ago now. I've solved very little in life via enlightened discussion with quacks, so that's that.
My world is high on the analytical and structural, in a Hermann Brain Dominance profile or Emergenetics sense (two common instruments to measure how people process). And very low on the social and conceptual. Analytical and structural people seek order, with clear thinking mostly unencumbered by sentimentality. We can analyze situations and dispassionately reach conclusions, and act on them with little compunction. I, for one, can organize just about any project or program into component steps (with contingencies) and execute.
But again, that leaves very little room for, or interest in, empathy for others or brainstorming new concepts and ideas.
A girl I dated briefly c. 2007 suggested I had "sniper's eyes," hurled as an epitaph. I took it as a complement, and chuckle to this day on that thought. You get the picture.
These are my opinions and observations, turning on the analytical-side to the nth degree! (Wistful grin). Dealing with people is emotionally exhausting, so those like me mostly don't.
Happy Fourth of July.
Was reading about dysfunctional relationships again. Not that I particularly seek out the subject, but I do find it interesting to understand where relationships go right, and wrong. A pattern emerges, something I tend to gravitate toward, which to me indicates observer-bias (we seek what we find interesting, or some might say such stuff seeks us).
To wit: Some of us...a small minority, almost certainly...don't form attachments to people. Not for long, at least. Deep down, we really don't care. But at a higher level, society, friends, and similar "want us" (men) to form relationships to fulfill our part of the social contract. We try to do this, out of genuinely good intentions, and entertain the facade for months or even a few years. Feigning interest (lying, essentially, to ourselves and our partners with honestly-good intentions to please another's emotional needs) can't be maintained forever, though. Soon, our true selves come out. Then, it's over, and we can detach rapidly (emotionally). We're mostly relieved, when that finally happens. Whatever occurs afterward is irrelevant, window-dressing in terms of ever dealing with that former partner again.
I have no ex's as friends. Several were nodding acquaintances on Facebook, and before that email, but...little good came of it, for long.
I've met few others like me, but read about them on various forums (them = us, from my perspective). We are not psychopaths, but higher than normal on the psychopathy scale (via psychologically-accepted tests to measure that particular pathology). I think the scale of "psychopathy" has been modified somewhat for latest version of the DSM (V), to component disorders like "narcissism" and "sociopathy" and "schizoid apathy" vs. the former blanket term "psychopath." So I've read, as merely an interested amateur.
Us semi-psychos don't have very much empathy for others, but yet we're not mad dogs out to harm others either. Hope this is making some semblance of sense, and I for one sometimes wish it were otherwise. (Chuckle): most of the time, though, people like us really don't "care" enough to be worried about it, either! I cannot recall visiting a therapist since college, and that was perfunctory for some reason I'm not quite remembering at the moment. Thirty years ago now. I've solved very little in life via enlightened discussion with quacks, so that's that.
My world is high on the analytical and structural, in a Hermann Brain Dominance profile or Emergenetics sense (two common instruments to measure how people process). And very low on the social and conceptual. Analytical and structural people seek order, with clear thinking mostly unencumbered by sentimentality. We can analyze situations and dispassionately reach conclusions, and act on them with little compunction. I, for one, can organize just about any project or program into component steps (with contingencies) and execute.
But again, that leaves very little room for, or interest in, empathy for others or brainstorming new concepts and ideas.
A girl I dated briefly c. 2007 suggested I had "sniper's eyes," hurled as an epitaph. I took it as a complement, and chuckle to this day on that thought. You get the picture.
These are my opinions and observations, turning on the analytical-side to the nth degree! (Wistful grin). Dealing with people is emotionally exhausting, so those like me mostly don't.
Happy Fourth of July.
