This blog is written from my personal experiences on why and how I successfully left the gay life. Because I knew my relationship with Christ and my sexual desires for the same sex couldn't mix, I had to make a choice.
I made that tough choice more than 20 years ago and in my heart I know it was the right choice. If someone truly wants out, it IS possible. There are many naysayers out there who will bog you down with their opinions. My belief is, if you want it bad enough you CAN change. It IS possible.
I made that tough choice more than 20 years ago and in my heart I know it was the right choice. If someone truly wants out, it IS possible. There are many naysayers out there who will bog you down with their opinions. My belief is, if you want it bad enough you CAN change. It IS possible.
It's Possible to leave the homosexual life behind
Leaving the life of homosexuality is not an easy one. Many have tried and failed. I tried leaving the life many times, only to find myself back where I started. I gave up many times and figured it just wasn't possible to change my thoughts and desires.
I didn't believe it was safe to talk to a pastor or anyone in the church about my desires because I assumed I would be judged. I hadn't talked to anyone but just thought because I was living a life outside of the social acceptance and that it was immoral I could not be accepted.
I sought out professional counseling through the university I attended. The counselor said the best thing for me to do was to give up my religion, that it was hindering me, causing me this pain. I told her that I couldn't give it up. I could not give up my beliefs. I didn't want to either. In a last effort she encouraged me to attend a gay Christian church. I frustrated that poor woman to no end when I told her that a person cannot be gay AND a Christian. It was unbiblical. The little of the Bible I did know and had read led me to this conclusion.
If a professional counselor couldn't help me, what hope did I have of getting out? I struggled for years and heard of men who had gone through reparative therapy. I'd tried everything else, why not, I thought. After a few sessions I realized that as much as I wanted this to work, it was worse than the professional counseling. The guys in charge of the program had the right heart and intent but I just couldn't agree that it would work. Maybe for others, but not me.
Then, one day I heard about a group of guys who got together in a downtown church to talk about being gay. At the time I didn't realize the group was geared toward accepting yourself as a gay man. I did listen, become friends with one of the guys and ended up in another relationship. During our relationship I still could not reconcile my faith with the life I was living. I really just wanted to end it all because that would've been so much easier than dealing with feelings I didn't want.
However, God's grace was with me and He carried me through this tumultuous time. It was at this point I ended my relationship with the guy and stopped seeking people to help me leave the gay life. I'm not sure I realized what I was doing at the time but I chose to turn inward to God and ask Him to help me. It most definitely did not happen overnight or within a few months. It has been a journey. One I want to share with anyone who, as I, desperately wants to leave the gay life for good.
If you really want to change your lifestyle, it IS possible. Multitudes will tell you it's impossible, that it's simply who you are. My life is a testimony that it isn't impossible. That "all things are possible" with God (paraphrase from Matthew 19:26).
The first step is to recognize that you're a sinner, just like me and everyone else. This is a prayer that is in your own words, something that comes from your heart. Put it all out there, your feelings, frustrations, hurts, everything. You must be genuinely repentant or there is no use if doing it. If you want out, as I did, this is the first step in your journey out of the gay life.
Later the disciples went to Jesus in private and asked him, “Why couldn’t we force out the demon?” Jesus replied: It is because you don’t have enough faith! But I can promise you this. If you had faith no larger than a mustard seed, you could tell this mountain to move from here to there. And it would. Everything would be possible for you. Matthew 17:19-21
I didn't believe it was safe to talk to a pastor or anyone in the church about my desires because I assumed I would be judged. I hadn't talked to anyone but just thought because I was living a life outside of the social acceptance and that it was immoral I could not be accepted.
I sought out professional counseling through the university I attended. The counselor said the best thing for me to do was to give up my religion, that it was hindering me, causing me this pain. I told her that I couldn't give it up. I could not give up my beliefs. I didn't want to either. In a last effort she encouraged me to attend a gay Christian church. I frustrated that poor woman to no end when I told her that a person cannot be gay AND a Christian. It was unbiblical. The little of the Bible I did know and had read led me to this conclusion.
If a professional counselor couldn't help me, what hope did I have of getting out? I struggled for years and heard of men who had gone through reparative therapy. I'd tried everything else, why not, I thought. After a few sessions I realized that as much as I wanted this to work, it was worse than the professional counseling. The guys in charge of the program had the right heart and intent but I just couldn't agree that it would work. Maybe for others, but not me.
Then, one day I heard about a group of guys who got together in a downtown church to talk about being gay. At the time I didn't realize the group was geared toward accepting yourself as a gay man. I did listen, become friends with one of the guys and ended up in another relationship. During our relationship I still could not reconcile my faith with the life I was living. I really just wanted to end it all because that would've been so much easier than dealing with feelings I didn't want.
However, God's grace was with me and He carried me through this tumultuous time. It was at this point I ended my relationship with the guy and stopped seeking people to help me leave the gay life. I'm not sure I realized what I was doing at the time but I chose to turn inward to God and ask Him to help me. It most definitely did not happen overnight or within a few months. It has been a journey. One I want to share with anyone who, as I, desperately wants to leave the gay life for good.
If you really want to change your lifestyle, it IS possible. Multitudes will tell you it's impossible, that it's simply who you are. My life is a testimony that it isn't impossible. That "all things are possible" with God (paraphrase from Matthew 19:26).
The first step is to recognize that you're a sinner, just like me and everyone else. This is a prayer that is in your own words, something that comes from your heart. Put it all out there, your feelings, frustrations, hurts, everything. You must be genuinely repentant or there is no use if doing it. If you want out, as I did, this is the first step in your journey out of the gay life.
Later the disciples went to Jesus in private and asked him, “Why couldn’t we force out the demon?” Jesus replied: It is because you don’t have enough faith! But I can promise you this. If you had faith no larger than a mustard seed, you could tell this mountain to move from here to there. And it would. Everything would be possible for you. Matthew 17:19-21
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