I caught an old episode of the "Waltons" last night and it brought me back to my childhood. (Back to "simplier" times!)...My Dad used to call my younger son "John Boy" when he was small. My son loved it! (And remembered it all his life.)...You'd never catch my older son watching old reruns of the "Waltons" or "Little House on the Prairie." But my younger son loved watching these shows because they gave him a "window" into the past. And they were about families...My older son took pride in being a "modern" and "with the times" kind of guy! I'm sure he viewed the rest of us as "old grey mares" because we enjoyed telling "tales" from the past. And taking trips down "memory lane."...My younger son "ate" it all "up" and kept begging for "more" when we started sharing stories from the past. He said this gave him a chance to get to know us even "better." And he loved hearing about life back in the "old days."...Both of my sons are gone now along with my husband and parents and everyone else. I am the only "apple" left on my "family tree." Watching the old episode of the "Waltons" last night helped me feel like I was part of a family again. (And this was sure nice!)
Countdown to the holidays...
Posted 11-11-2014 at 09:39 AM by CArizona
I thought I'd start a blog to help me get through the holidays this year..Maybe it will help me perk-up! Hope so!...I'm ready for Thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings. And, I've already started playing Christmas carols...I really want to get into the "spirit" of the holidays. (Even though my family members aren't with me anymore.)...I don't want to be a grump or a "scrooge!" YUK!!.. I want to look for reasons to be happy and "chipper!" (Despite all of my losses.)
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I've decided to watch for "gifts" that come my way during the holiday season...I'm not really talking about store-bought gifts. Or, presents...To me, a gift is learning something new. Gaining more knowledge and awareness...Feeling inspired. Getting excited! Having an "ah-ha" moment!...Hearing from friends. Feeling loved and valued. Going the "extra mile" to help someone out and feeling "good" about it...Stepping out of my comfort zone. Confronting my fears...Singing and dancing and laughing. Feeling like a "kid" again! (With no."weight" on my shoulders!)...Letting myself off the "hook" for minor "screw-ups." (Versus "beating" myself "up!") And, cutting other people more "slack" too...I want to experience more joy during the holiday season and learn to count my "blessings!"Posted 11-12-2014 at 01:27 PM by CArizona
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I'm starting to get into the holiday spirit a little more...It's a little easier now because we had a "temperature drop" here in the desert. Hard to think about Christmas when it's 90 degrees outside and I'm still wearing shorts!Posted 11-19-2014 at 07:28 AM by CArizona
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I don't want to have a "cut-throat Christmas!" I try to avoid the holiday "madness" as much as possible.. But, I ended-up right smack in the middle of a lot of "craziness" when I went out yesterday. I picked the wrong day to go shopping because I saw more "scowls" than smiles.. Everyone seemed to be in a hurry and impatient. (Even mad!)..It will be awhile before I venture out again. Thank goodness, I have everything I need for now!Posted 11-20-2014 at 09:23 AM by CArizona
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I live in the desert and we are a "hot-spot" for "snowbirds." Our population increases by leaps and bounds when the temperature starts to "drop" in other parts of the country...I went to a Thanksgiving pot-luck at my friend's RV park the other night. And "mixed" and "mingled" with couples from other states who were set-up at the park...Some of the "guests" strung Christmas lights on their RV's. Or wreaths...The park had a festive and holiday atmosphere! Everyone made themselves "at home!" And "set" for their winter in the desert!...It's different for me because I live here year-round. I'm not on vacation or far away from my home-state....I'm not going to take-off or "roll away" when the temperature starts to "climb" in the spring!Posted 11-22-2014 at 08:52 AM by CArizona
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My birthday falls right on Thanksgiving this year. I'm a "turkey birthday girl!" Gobble, gobble!...This year, I've been spoiling myself a little more. (Ahead of time!)...Bought myself my favorite kind of chocolate cake last week and I ate every bite of it all by myself! It was a little hard to get the last few pieces "down." But, I did!...Then, right after I finished the last piece, my friend brought over another chocolate cake in honor of my birthday! (Which was nice!)...But, this cake may not get as much attention as my first cake. The thought of eating chocolate cake day after day (all over again) kind of "turns" my stomach!...Too much of a "good thing!" I'm going to "share" this cake with friends! (Versus being a "hog!")Posted 11-22-2014 at 09:10 AM by CArizona
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Sometimes, it's hard to know what family members or friends really want for Christmas. (Unless it's "spelled-out.")...Right after I got married, my husband felt like he had the perfect Christmas present for me.. I had become fanatical about my teeth and gums due to recent dental work. So, he figured that I'd love to have an electronic teeth-cleaning machine. (Which had just come out on the "market.") They weren't cheap back then!...I appreciated his thoughtfulness. But, I guess I didn't really want to think about my teeth or gums when I opened presents on Christmas morning...I wanted something else. (Not sure what! Something that would take me away from worrying about my teeth!)...In the end, I put the teeth-cleaning machine to "good use" and I felt grateful to have it!Posted 11-22-2014 at 09:30 AM by CArizona
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Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you have a wonderful day!.. Are you a "Black Friday person?" If so, I hope you get lots of "deals!" I wish you luck!...I tend to hide-out on "Black Friday" and I stay away from stores. Can't handle all of the traffic and crowds and long lines, etc...I get claustrophobic! Phew! It's just TOO MUCH for me!!Posted 11-27-2014 at 07:23 AM by CArizona
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Every few years, my birthday falls right on Thanksgiving. And, I'm a "birthday-turkey girl" this year. Gobble, gobble!!...I sure miss my family. Sad that everyone is "gone" now..I'm going to spend Thanksgiving and my birthday with friends today. Really want to have a good time...Hope you have a happy and heartwarming Thanksgiving too. Hope you have fun...I'm ready to have some fun. Don't want to stay in a "funk" all day just because my family is "gone."Posted 11-27-2014 at 07:37 AM by CArizona
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I have a friend who can really be an "old grump." (Year-round. Not just during the holidays.)...But, she definitely gets "grumpier" when the holidays roll around.. She wraps her entire identity around being "miserable." If she runs into people who seems happy, she tries to make them feel stupid. (For being happy or hopeful, etc.)...I'm trying to understand why my friend wants to be "miserable." How did she get this way? And, why does she want to stay this way?...Basically, she is hurting herself most of all. She is denying herself "pleasures" in life..And, her "misery" and unhappiness pushes other people away. Who wants to be with a "grump" all the time? Or, a "mean-spirited person?" I sure don't!.. But, I guess it's hard for me to give-up on people! I keep hoping that my friend will have a "change of heart" one day. But, I doubt it! And, it's sad!Posted 11-27-2014 at 08:06 AM by CArizona
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My family wasn't perfect. One of my Aunts had a knack for stirring-up "drama" or chaos when we got together for family holidays...This Aunt was my Mom's "baby sister." I think she tried to get attention by being a "brat" or "troublemaker." (And, never really grew-up.)...Nobody had the heart to kick her out of the family. Or, tell her to stay home on holidays...So, we just "put up" with her. And, tried to hold on to our sense of humor. (Versus getting angry at her and hitting her over the head with a frying pan!)...She usually settled-down towards the end of the day. (On holidays.)...When I run into difficult people (like my Aunt) today, I usually pretend that I'm in a "sit-com." I try not to come all "unglued." But every now and then, someone may "get my goat." Or, "get" to me. (For a little while, anyway.).. Thankfully, my sense of humor kicks-in before I turn into a "raving maniac." How about you?Posted 11-27-2014 at 09:54 AM by CArizona
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My life has been a "blur" since the day after Thanksgiving. This is when I found my friend lying unconscious in his house. I called 9-11. And, my friend has been in the hospital for 17 days now...It's been "touch and go." But hopefully, my friend is finally on the road to recovery...He was just admitted to the rehab wing of the hospital and he's learning to walk and eat normally again.Posted 12-14-2014 at 03:39 PM by CArizona
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I only have to buy one present this year.. I'm going to get a new "scratching ramp" for my cat Gracie. She'll be "tickled pink!" (I hope!)...My family is gone now. And, my friends don't want to exchange gifts...So my shopping list is short. I don't have to participate in the "Christmas madness!" YEA!!..Maybe I'll treat myself to some chocolate truffles. But, that's about it.Posted 12-15-2014 at 03:09 PM by CArizona
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It's hard for me to be "carefree" right now because my friend is still in the hospital. He's doing a lot better now. He's on the "mend." I hope!...The problem is, I end-up feeling guilty if I don't visit my friend in the hospital every single day...I feel guilty if I try to get back to my own life a little more...My friend doesn't have any family in the area. Just me! And, I've become his "all and everything."Posted 12-17-2014 at 07:44 AM by CArizona
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My friend's "brush with death" sure traumatized me. I'm the one who found him lying unconscious in his house a few weeks ago..When he didn't return my calls, I drove over to check on him.. It looks like my friend might be able to come home next week. He's in rehab right now...Everyone expects me to be his caretaker. And, watch over him when he comes home.Posted 12-17-2014 at 07:51 AM by CArizona
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I want to feel "light" and "breezy" and carefree again. At least for a little while.. It's Christmas time! The holidays are suppose to be "cheery!"..I feel "weighted down" with concern and worry about my friend right now. And, I worry about what's going to happen when he comes home from the hospital. I know I'll be "needed" everyday.Posted 12-17-2014 at 07:57 AM by CArizona
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Time to change the subject! No more talk about illnesses or hospitals!..It's Christmas! I want to feel positive and happy and uplifted and carefree again! Young again!...No more trauma! Or worries! No more bed-pans. Or feeding-tubes!...I want "sugar and spice" and "everything nice!" And, "candy canes all in a row!"Posted 12-17-2014 at 08:09 AM by CArizona
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What was your favorite Christmas in the past? Do you have an absolute favorite?...My favorite was when I was about 12 or so...I told my parents that I'd like a pink mohair sweater with a matching pleated skirt for Christmas. To be honest, I didn't have high expectations. I was prepared to be somewhat disappointed...But, my parents really "blew me away" that year. The sweater and skirt they picked out looked like they came from a trendy store or "fashion show." Everything matched perfectly!...I sure felt proud of my parents! I kept complimenting them on their "fashion sense" and designer "know-how!"Posted 12-17-2014 at 08:22 AM by CArizona
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My parents always gave me (lush) bathrobes for my birthday and Christmas. They knew my style and what I liked!...After my parents died, my husband continued their "bathrobe tradition." (How sweet!)...I still have one of his "prize bathrobes" left. It's not a typical bathrobe for life here in the desert...The bathrobe is baby blue with snowflakes printed all over it. It even has a hood. And, it's super, super soft!...I save the bathrobe for extra cold days and nights. Don't always get freezing cold weather here in the desert. This is why this bathrobe never got worn-out like the other ones did.Posted 12-17-2014 at 08:32 AM by CArizona
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I've always had trouble taking my tree down. And, packing away Christmas decorations at the start of each new year...I know my sons probably got frustrated with me when they were young because I left the Christmas tree up for so long...They probably felt embarrassed when their friends came over and saw our "leftover tree" and Christmas decor still scattered all around our living room...Guess I tried to hold on to Christmas as long as I could! Hard to say "goodbye" to the holidays...I haven't put up a tree for a couple of years now. (Since my loved ones died.)...Maybe I'll feel like decorating again down the road a bit. But, I do play Christmas carols...To be honest, I play Christmas carols year round. The songs put a smile on my face and cheer me up when I'm going through "down times."Posted 12-17-2014 at 09:50 AM by CArizona
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Lately, I've felt "lost" because my focus has been on my friend and his health and medical problems. My friend's situation was different this time because he nearly died...I don't want to feel "lost" anymore. I don't want to live life as a caretaker or "sidekick." (And nothing more.)...What about me? Don't I count and matter too? I have to get back to "being me." And, "true" to myself.Posted 12-17-2014 at 10:00 AM by CArizona
