Still Thinking
Posted 06-30-2014 at 07:26 PM by beautifuldreamer
Thinking... Apparently I do a lot of it these days. My husband once told me (well, maybe more than once) that I was thinking too much and showed me a video clip of a comedian who talked about women thinking too much. It seemed I had been over-thinking and causing myself to be a little sad and began to stress about things.
Now that I think about it, I think he might have been right because the more I thought about things and let my mind wander, the more stress I brought upon myself. And inevitably on him as well.
I let that stress build up a fear in me and that fear caused me to overdo a lot of things in our marriage. In my mind, I was doing everything I could to make sure I kept my husband happy. In actuality though, I believe that I was suffocating him.
He told me recently that he wanted to do things for himself, and he was more comfortable being alone for his last few months here.
It saddens me a great deal because I love him with everything I have in me. When we got married, he became my whole world. Everything I did, I did for him. I did everything I knew to do to make him feel like he was the King of our castle. And yet, somehow, it wasn't what he wanted from me.
I don't get it.
I'm wracking my brain trying to figure out what happened and all I know now is that my heart is so heavy with grief because I'm losing my life companion, my love, my friend, someone I cherished and held very dear to my heart.
What is a wife without her husband?
Now that I think about it, I think he might have been right because the more I thought about things and let my mind wander, the more stress I brought upon myself. And inevitably on him as well.
I let that stress build up a fear in me and that fear caused me to overdo a lot of things in our marriage. In my mind, I was doing everything I could to make sure I kept my husband happy. In actuality though, I believe that I was suffocating him.
He told me recently that he wanted to do things for himself, and he was more comfortable being alone for his last few months here.
It saddens me a great deal because I love him with everything I have in me. When we got married, he became my whole world. Everything I did, I did for him. I did everything I knew to do to make him feel like he was the King of our castle. And yet, somehow, it wasn't what he wanted from me.
I don't get it.
I'm wracking my brain trying to figure out what happened and all I know now is that my heart is so heavy with grief because I'm losing my life companion, my love, my friend, someone I cherished and held very dear to my heart.
What is a wife without her husband?
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