Thursday ~~ June 12, 2014 ~~ Let me tell you a story.....
Posted 06-12-2014 at 08:58 AM by CSD610
Our home is quiet right now and I mean no sound quiet.
My Husband is asleep, the cats are down for their morning nap after running amok for an hour after they ate, the dog is happily chasing only visible things to him in his sleep and those paws are moving quickly.
I am awake obviously since I'm typing here.
The quiet is a welcome respite from all the activity that has been going on the last several weeks. I am not used to noise. I am not used to activity. I am not used to so much human contact. I appreciate the quiet much more now than I did before.
The story part comes in when I explain why I appreciate the quiet so much when it happens after a lot of activity and noise.
When I was a child there was no quiet in our home. Something, anything was always on or someone always at our home. The television was blaring, my brother had his radio on, my donor had all his loud, drunken friends over all the time and my Mother was usually doing chores around the house.
Dishes, laundry, cooking, mopping, things like that.
Even when it was time for us to sleep because we had school the next day the noise did not stop. We had to learn to sleep with noise all around and all the lights on and constant interruptions so people could use the bathroom.
My brother and I shared a bedroom and we had bunkbeds and you could only access the bathroom by walking through our bedroom.
It was terrible and neither of us liked it but when you are children you have no voice in how your home life goes so you keep your mouth shut and learn how to sleep with noise and lights on.
Do not get the wrong idea, my Mother did the best she could with what she was dealing with and she did a great job with us.
She was just very young, very naive and very much in love and she went along with things for safety as well.
My donor was not only an alcoholic but he was a violent alcoholic and he would go ballistic because you blinked your eyes when he told you not to. It was not a pleasant environment and we tended to sort of stay out of sight. When one stays out of sight as much as possible and stays quiet they tend to not get beaten nearly as often as if they were in sight all the time.
Anyway, back to the quiet, the quiet is a time I enjoy tremendously. My mind settles in to enjoy the peace and my thoughts are not running 10 millions miles an hour, they actually slow to do about 5 million miles and hour. My mind wanders to places I get a rare moment to visit. Peace, tranquility, solitude, thanks to God that is not in passing. Mindfulness of my thoughts, and feelings. Reflection on my words, my day, my actions, my feelings.
Not always a welcome reflection because of how I have treated someone or how I have spoken to someone but a reflection of self none the less and a necessary relfection of self. The good, the bad the ugly (now I sound like a Clint Eastwood Spaghetti Western).
It all has to come out at some point either to yourself or to someone else. It is important to get those thoughts, feelings and reflections out in the open, on the table to be dealt with and settled. Keep this card and that card but get rid of those cards that don't help you have a winning hand.
One thing starts something that leads to something else that affects someone across town that causes their reaction to someone at the grocery that makes the grocer order something new to replace what was lost, bought or damaged and the circle continues.
One small step and more of a domino affect than you could ever imagine. Everything everyone does affects someone else somewhere down the line.
So I am going to keep this brief because my coffee cup is almost empty.
The thought to ponder if you choose is:
What small step have you taken to cause the start of the fall of dominos?
Would you take that step again? Would you say those words again? Would you try to have a different reaction to the situation?
As usual I wish you restful sleep and peaceful dreams when it comes time for you to wander your timbers of slumber....
My Husband is asleep, the cats are down for their morning nap after running amok for an hour after they ate, the dog is happily chasing only visible things to him in his sleep and those paws are moving quickly.
I am awake obviously since I'm typing here.
The quiet is a welcome respite from all the activity that has been going on the last several weeks. I am not used to noise. I am not used to activity. I am not used to so much human contact. I appreciate the quiet much more now than I did before.
The story part comes in when I explain why I appreciate the quiet so much when it happens after a lot of activity and noise.
When I was a child there was no quiet in our home. Something, anything was always on or someone always at our home. The television was blaring, my brother had his radio on, my donor had all his loud, drunken friends over all the time and my Mother was usually doing chores around the house.
Dishes, laundry, cooking, mopping, things like that.
Even when it was time for us to sleep because we had school the next day the noise did not stop. We had to learn to sleep with noise all around and all the lights on and constant interruptions so people could use the bathroom.
My brother and I shared a bedroom and we had bunkbeds and you could only access the bathroom by walking through our bedroom.
It was terrible and neither of us liked it but when you are children you have no voice in how your home life goes so you keep your mouth shut and learn how to sleep with noise and lights on.
Do not get the wrong idea, my Mother did the best she could with what she was dealing with and she did a great job with us.
She was just very young, very naive and very much in love and she went along with things for safety as well.
My donor was not only an alcoholic but he was a violent alcoholic and he would go ballistic because you blinked your eyes when he told you not to. It was not a pleasant environment and we tended to sort of stay out of sight. When one stays out of sight as much as possible and stays quiet they tend to not get beaten nearly as often as if they were in sight all the time.
Anyway, back to the quiet, the quiet is a time I enjoy tremendously. My mind settles in to enjoy the peace and my thoughts are not running 10 millions miles an hour, they actually slow to do about 5 million miles and hour. My mind wanders to places I get a rare moment to visit. Peace, tranquility, solitude, thanks to God that is not in passing. Mindfulness of my thoughts, and feelings. Reflection on my words, my day, my actions, my feelings.
Not always a welcome reflection because of how I have treated someone or how I have spoken to someone but a reflection of self none the less and a necessary relfection of self. The good, the bad the ugly (now I sound like a Clint Eastwood Spaghetti Western).
It all has to come out at some point either to yourself or to someone else. It is important to get those thoughts, feelings and reflections out in the open, on the table to be dealt with and settled. Keep this card and that card but get rid of those cards that don't help you have a winning hand.
One thing starts something that leads to something else that affects someone across town that causes their reaction to someone at the grocery that makes the grocer order something new to replace what was lost, bought or damaged and the circle continues.
One small step and more of a domino affect than you could ever imagine. Everything everyone does affects someone else somewhere down the line.
So I am going to keep this brief because my coffee cup is almost empty.
The thought to ponder if you choose is:
What small step have you taken to cause the start of the fall of dominos?
Would you take that step again? Would you say those words again? Would you try to have a different reaction to the situation?
As usual I wish you restful sleep and peaceful dreams when it comes time for you to wander your timbers of slumber....
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