Friday ~~ February 7, 2014 ~~ Let's talk for a while....
Posted 02-06-2014 at 11:58 PM by CSD610
Actually I'll type and if you choose to you can read.
There has been a very long thread ongoing the last couple of days and it is all about family dynamics or lack of. Those of you who have been following that particular thread will know what I am writing about as I get further into this blog.
So, family dynamics, what a chore, blessing and curse all rolled into one group of humans.
It all started who knows how many actual years ago when humans first became humans and became aware of the fact that there are two groups of humans, male and female.
That is the moment the ensueing train of actions and reactions according to emotions started on it's never ending journey to wreck more times than one human could actually count.
Starting with the basics, boy meets girl, boy likes girl, girl likes other boy (today) so she rejects boy one and cozies up to boy two except boy two likes girl 3 so girl 1 goes back to boy 1 and by now boy 1 likes girl 2 so girl 1 has to find a different boy and round and round the male & female carousel goes. Even though they are all on a train in different cars with different destinations in mind.
Finally boy 1 asks girl 2 to be his alone and she agrees. They find a cave, she decorates it the way she likes, he paints the walls, they get to know each other often intimately and baby 1 comes along. In the mean time girl 3 has dumped boy 2 and moved on to boy 4 (you see where this is going right?).
Now with all of that mess out of the way I'll stick with boy 1 and girl 2 just to keep it somewhat easy. Along their path of life boy 1 from now on known as Hans and girl 2 from now on known as Pearl and baby 1 from now on known as Greg. They live their lives the way they want to without worrying what the others think about their decorating with trees inside the cave. She has the latest banana leaf fashion available, he works hard and has gathered a lot of wood, stone and water while Greg continues to grow up. Twenty years down the road Hans and Pearl are still together and Greg has grown up but Pearl wonders if Marco would have been a better choice even though Hans is the richest man in the caves she really does not like him and does not respect him and she feels he does not protect her from his sister.
So Pearl starts having all of these suspicious thoughts and has decided that she will stay with Hans but only because he is a millionaire (by todays standards) and she likes living in the biggest cave and having the latest banana leaf fashions. She is however keeping an eye on his sister. This is the sister who had the nerve to serve Pearl supper on a plate that had different decorations than everyone else's, how rude and inconsiderate and very passive aggressive. She has also started looking at her friends differently, one has the nerve to put hot sauce on absolutely everything, how dare she and that weave on the other one. She is just welfare trash and the rest of the women she calls friends are just a bunch of greasy hefers. It is his sister though, she is the worst of the worst. She is hateful, does not like Pearl, is disrespectful and just downright mean.
Even though others see the plate incident as trivial and nothing to get upset over Pearl sees it differently. She decides to "borrow" the key that Hans has been given to his sister's cave. She then goes to his sister's cave and starts snooping around to see what she can find to prove that his sister (Gertrude) hates her, is rude, disrespectful and downright mean. By golly she does find her proof right in the trash. That plate Pearl was served dinner on had been thrown away. Even though she did not take it out of the trash to see if it was broken or chipped somewhere so it had to be thrown away for safety. She had her proof but now what is she going to do with her proof?
Okay, enough of that mess I am making myself want to throw up. Even writing the small amount I wrote is making me sick to my stomach simply because of the very nature of the topic. Family are humans, there are different dynamics for everyone who knows someone else and most humans know someone else so every relationship is going to have different dynamics.
The point of it all right now though is the trivial nature of the thought process of some humans. Where do they get these ideas? Who at some point planted whatever seed in their mind that actions done by others are always passive aggressive behavior because that person does not like you. Even though you yourself admit that you are petty and hate most of humanity it is not your fault that Gertrude and everyone else hates you and is out to get you. It is not your fault that you consider your husband a weak, good for nothing simpleton but he is rich so you will keep him. It is not your fault that you felt the need to wear underwear with holes in it so you would NOT cheat on your husband. It is not your fault all of your friends are greasy trashy hefers with cheap weaves. It is not your fault ever even though you are petty and hate most of humanity.
I could not stand myself if I was like that. Yes I am abrasive with some of the responses I post on this forum. Yes I get a bit of backlash from those responses. Do I care? Not really. This forum is a public forum and as long as one does not go against TOS one is allowed an opinion no matter who agrees or disagrees. No matter how harsh the words appear to others one is entitled to post as they wish.
In some cases though it is impossible to sympathize or try and be somewhat nice or even cordial when typing a response. Others who are new to the Original Poster always try to defend them however, those of us who do keep up and have experienced that particular poster numerous times remain the same in our responses.
We are not demon spawn with no compassion. We are the ones who know the history with the other threads, who remember the petty, trivial, out to get them, disrespectful to her husband, gold digging marital failure with greasy hefer friends that are written about. Writing like that about one's husband and friends is in my opinion pathetic and I cannot help but have sympathy for the husband and friends to a point.
There are solutions to these issues but the solution is one that no one appears to want to get started. The solution is costly in a financial and emotional way. There are numerous issues to be dealt with in the legal and emotional arena before the solution can come to end the problem. Then the problem is not really solved it just lives somewhere else and continues to cost lots of money.
What does one do in situations like this? It is so hard to have a definite answer on this simply because we can only go by words written and posted on a public forum. We do not know personally anyone involved and we don't even know if the entire story is real. It could be as someone stated a soap opera script being written and tested on a random group of strangers.
Personally I do not associate very long with toxic humans. It is not good for me mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually so I refuse to put up with things I consider trivial nonsense and drama. I like a nice quiet peaceful life. I do not draw attention to myself, I do not gossip, I do not get into others personal business for the most part. I don't care that you are having an affair with someone who is married and not to you but I won't continue a friendship with you and I refuse to talk about that person with you. If you want someone to tell you that it is okay to have an affair with that person you will have to find someone else because I won't do it.
I myself have had in law issues and it can be a very long, frustrating, painful road to walk down but a solution can be found. You just want to have to find that solution that appeases everyone. My solution was to just keep my mouth shut for the most part, continue to be cordial, invite them over for gatherings and eventually we all came to know each other better and our relationship has become good overall. Not great yet but much better than it was 10 years ago when all of this first started.
Family dynamics are not limited to your immediate family and your husband's immediate family. Some friends are like family but those dynamics are different in and of themselves. Then toss in dating just for fun and the train starts derailing even faster. I do not understand the entire dating, hooking up, he likes me, she gave me a compliment does she want to have sex with me scenario. It is just one big cluster of clueless for the most part.
Do you really have to analyze every word, action and detail when someone tells you they like the tie you have on that day. It that really an invitation into their bed? For me no it is not, it is simply a fact stated that I like the tie you wore that day. My goodness if I thought every man that gave me a compliment had the sole intent of having sex with me I would have already had an affair with every man I know. In reality that is not the case, it was merely a compliment that I thanked them for and we moved on with our lives.
I guess the point of todays blog is to think about your family and the dynamics that go along with it. You don't have to like everyone, even family members but it is best at times to be more than cordial. That gives you all a chance to get to know each other better and find some common ground. At the very least there will be some respect for that person found as well.
Parting thoughts for you if you choose to ponder these thoughts are:
What are your family dynamics?
What can be done to improve those dynamics?
Are you willing to make the hard choice if the only solution is to leave those dynamics behind?
Is the main issue your attitude, their attitude or a bit of both?
Are you passive aggressive in your actions toward them? (just a note I dislike the statement "passive aggressive")
Will you be the one to take the first step toward a solution so you can step off of the train before it wrecks again?
Anyway, it is very early in the morning and as usual I wish you all you deserve in your lifetime and I hope you rest well and have peaceful dreams when it is time to wander the timbers of your slumber.
There has been a very long thread ongoing the last couple of days and it is all about family dynamics or lack of. Those of you who have been following that particular thread will know what I am writing about as I get further into this blog.
So, family dynamics, what a chore, blessing and curse all rolled into one group of humans.
It all started who knows how many actual years ago when humans first became humans and became aware of the fact that there are two groups of humans, male and female.
That is the moment the ensueing train of actions and reactions according to emotions started on it's never ending journey to wreck more times than one human could actually count.
Starting with the basics, boy meets girl, boy likes girl, girl likes other boy (today) so she rejects boy one and cozies up to boy two except boy two likes girl 3 so girl 1 goes back to boy 1 and by now boy 1 likes girl 2 so girl 1 has to find a different boy and round and round the male & female carousel goes. Even though they are all on a train in different cars with different destinations in mind.
Finally boy 1 asks girl 2 to be his alone and she agrees. They find a cave, she decorates it the way she likes, he paints the walls, they get to know each other often intimately and baby 1 comes along. In the mean time girl 3 has dumped boy 2 and moved on to boy 4 (you see where this is going right?).
Now with all of that mess out of the way I'll stick with boy 1 and girl 2 just to keep it somewhat easy. Along their path of life boy 1 from now on known as Hans and girl 2 from now on known as Pearl and baby 1 from now on known as Greg. They live their lives the way they want to without worrying what the others think about their decorating with trees inside the cave. She has the latest banana leaf fashion available, he works hard and has gathered a lot of wood, stone and water while Greg continues to grow up. Twenty years down the road Hans and Pearl are still together and Greg has grown up but Pearl wonders if Marco would have been a better choice even though Hans is the richest man in the caves she really does not like him and does not respect him and she feels he does not protect her from his sister.
So Pearl starts having all of these suspicious thoughts and has decided that she will stay with Hans but only because he is a millionaire (by todays standards) and she likes living in the biggest cave and having the latest banana leaf fashions. She is however keeping an eye on his sister. This is the sister who had the nerve to serve Pearl supper on a plate that had different decorations than everyone else's, how rude and inconsiderate and very passive aggressive. She has also started looking at her friends differently, one has the nerve to put hot sauce on absolutely everything, how dare she and that weave on the other one. She is just welfare trash and the rest of the women she calls friends are just a bunch of greasy hefers. It is his sister though, she is the worst of the worst. She is hateful, does not like Pearl, is disrespectful and just downright mean.
Even though others see the plate incident as trivial and nothing to get upset over Pearl sees it differently. She decides to "borrow" the key that Hans has been given to his sister's cave. She then goes to his sister's cave and starts snooping around to see what she can find to prove that his sister (Gertrude) hates her, is rude, disrespectful and downright mean. By golly she does find her proof right in the trash. That plate Pearl was served dinner on had been thrown away. Even though she did not take it out of the trash to see if it was broken or chipped somewhere so it had to be thrown away for safety. She had her proof but now what is she going to do with her proof?
Okay, enough of that mess I am making myself want to throw up. Even writing the small amount I wrote is making me sick to my stomach simply because of the very nature of the topic. Family are humans, there are different dynamics for everyone who knows someone else and most humans know someone else so every relationship is going to have different dynamics.
The point of it all right now though is the trivial nature of the thought process of some humans. Where do they get these ideas? Who at some point planted whatever seed in their mind that actions done by others are always passive aggressive behavior because that person does not like you. Even though you yourself admit that you are petty and hate most of humanity it is not your fault that Gertrude and everyone else hates you and is out to get you. It is not your fault that you consider your husband a weak, good for nothing simpleton but he is rich so you will keep him. It is not your fault that you felt the need to wear underwear with holes in it so you would NOT cheat on your husband. It is not your fault all of your friends are greasy trashy hefers with cheap weaves. It is not your fault ever even though you are petty and hate most of humanity.
I could not stand myself if I was like that. Yes I am abrasive with some of the responses I post on this forum. Yes I get a bit of backlash from those responses. Do I care? Not really. This forum is a public forum and as long as one does not go against TOS one is allowed an opinion no matter who agrees or disagrees. No matter how harsh the words appear to others one is entitled to post as they wish.
In some cases though it is impossible to sympathize or try and be somewhat nice or even cordial when typing a response. Others who are new to the Original Poster always try to defend them however, those of us who do keep up and have experienced that particular poster numerous times remain the same in our responses.
We are not demon spawn with no compassion. We are the ones who know the history with the other threads, who remember the petty, trivial, out to get them, disrespectful to her husband, gold digging marital failure with greasy hefer friends that are written about. Writing like that about one's husband and friends is in my opinion pathetic and I cannot help but have sympathy for the husband and friends to a point.
There are solutions to these issues but the solution is one that no one appears to want to get started. The solution is costly in a financial and emotional way. There are numerous issues to be dealt with in the legal and emotional arena before the solution can come to end the problem. Then the problem is not really solved it just lives somewhere else and continues to cost lots of money.
What does one do in situations like this? It is so hard to have a definite answer on this simply because we can only go by words written and posted on a public forum. We do not know personally anyone involved and we don't even know if the entire story is real. It could be as someone stated a soap opera script being written and tested on a random group of strangers.
Personally I do not associate very long with toxic humans. It is not good for me mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually so I refuse to put up with things I consider trivial nonsense and drama. I like a nice quiet peaceful life. I do not draw attention to myself, I do not gossip, I do not get into others personal business for the most part. I don't care that you are having an affair with someone who is married and not to you but I won't continue a friendship with you and I refuse to talk about that person with you. If you want someone to tell you that it is okay to have an affair with that person you will have to find someone else because I won't do it.
I myself have had in law issues and it can be a very long, frustrating, painful road to walk down but a solution can be found. You just want to have to find that solution that appeases everyone. My solution was to just keep my mouth shut for the most part, continue to be cordial, invite them over for gatherings and eventually we all came to know each other better and our relationship has become good overall. Not great yet but much better than it was 10 years ago when all of this first started.
Family dynamics are not limited to your immediate family and your husband's immediate family. Some friends are like family but those dynamics are different in and of themselves. Then toss in dating just for fun and the train starts derailing even faster. I do not understand the entire dating, hooking up, he likes me, she gave me a compliment does she want to have sex with me scenario. It is just one big cluster of clueless for the most part.
Do you really have to analyze every word, action and detail when someone tells you they like the tie you have on that day. It that really an invitation into their bed? For me no it is not, it is simply a fact stated that I like the tie you wore that day. My goodness if I thought every man that gave me a compliment had the sole intent of having sex with me I would have already had an affair with every man I know. In reality that is not the case, it was merely a compliment that I thanked them for and we moved on with our lives.
I guess the point of todays blog is to think about your family and the dynamics that go along with it. You don't have to like everyone, even family members but it is best at times to be more than cordial. That gives you all a chance to get to know each other better and find some common ground. At the very least there will be some respect for that person found as well.
Parting thoughts for you if you choose to ponder these thoughts are:
What are your family dynamics?
What can be done to improve those dynamics?
Are you willing to make the hard choice if the only solution is to leave those dynamics behind?
Is the main issue your attitude, their attitude or a bit of both?
Are you passive aggressive in your actions toward them? (just a note I dislike the statement "passive aggressive")
Will you be the one to take the first step toward a solution so you can step off of the train before it wrecks again?
Anyway, it is very early in the morning and as usual I wish you all you deserve in your lifetime and I hope you rest well and have peaceful dreams when it is time to wander the timbers of your slumber.
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