Reflections

I don't want to **** and moan about every moment I feel like crap, so something positive is in order. To my surprise, I am feeling a closeness with my first wife, who died, during this separation with my current wife. Maybe because she deserved the amount of loss and pain I felt, and my current wife doesn't....I'm just wallowing in self pity over some one that doesn't even deserve it.

SO, I digress. I am confidant in time I will have another woman who I will be able to write new stories about, but this is a story about my first wife.

She was a nurse who worked on 3rd shift. We had recently just upgraded to a new house. On the evening before her 33rd birthday, she left for work at 6:20 evening. We had discussed some plans with friends for the next evening right before she left, but a very normal departure.

The second she pulled out of the driveway, I raced upstairs to our bathroom with a roll of painters tape. It was a decent size bathroom and I knew I had a challenge ahead of me but I was going to makeover the bathroom and have it done before she got home in the morning. She enjoyed the color purple and we had a running joke that lavender is a wimpy purple and plum is strong. So I painted the walls plum with a nice lavender border. Changed out the fixtures, put down some new mats and towels. I was literally pulling off the last bits of tape when she was pulling up.

Now I made the mistake of telling her I had a gift for her. My plan was that she would come home, go take her shower, and see the bathroom. However, because it was her birthday she wanted her gift soon as she walked in the door. HAHAHA Then I had to convince her to go to the bathroom first and get cleaned up...she was so beautifully stubborn, we started raising our voices in debate. I finally resolved it by telling her it was in the bathroom. Now she was all skeptical. I followed her to the bathroom. She opened the door.

Her hands went up to cover her nose and mouth and she was speechless. She didn't move or make a sound for what seemed a long time...I actually started to feel a little uncomfortable HAHAHA. She turned and gave me a hug....I had blown her mind. She loved it! Her face would get so leaky talking about it the next few weeks afterwards. It was one of the greatest moments of my life, that I was able to make her feel that special.

This is one of the feelings that drives me ahead right now. I didn't choose very well with my second wife, as is obvious now. I don't even know if I want a third. But some one out there is going to make me feel that good again.