sometimes people's "nice words" hurt so much. Triggers are still everywhere for me.
Posted 09-14-2013 at 08:45 PM by Pinkmani
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pinkmani
Lily, what you're experiencing is emotionally devastating. Please remember that it is not your fault. Something that helps me is a journal where I right down how I was feeling that day. Every anniversary and birthday will be hard. Unfortunately, he couldn't take it anymore and decided that it's better for him to just exit the world. The comments that you hear from people is their way of being generous and sympathetic, even though their words hurts. Take it one day at a time. *here's a big long virtual hug*
I get sensitive and defensive when people try to be nice to me. I'm not talking about losing someone to suicide, but my battle with depression and eating disorders. I know they aren't the same thing, but I get annoyed when people say things like:
"Oh, your depressed? I've been depressed, too" (Usually they haven't, and if they have I don't care)
"Just eat in moderation" (I can't! I either starve or binge!)
"No one said life was fair/easy!" (*screams in anger*)
"Have you tried _____________?" (You think I haven't tried anything?)
"Do you feel like crying?" (No, I feel like making you cry.)
"Some people have worse things to deal with" (You think I care about other people?)
"You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself and move on!" (There is a chemical imbalance in my brain! I can't just move on!)
"Have you tried not being depressed?" (Again, it's a chemical imbalance. Even taking meds doesn't make me better. It just helps me function)
I like getting a really good tight hug and holding on for a few seconds. Then prefer for them to say something like:
"Let me know if you need to talk"
"Just remember that you are loved"
"I'm here for you"
"You're so important to me"
"Even though this may feel permanent, it's not. I'll be by your side as you get through this."
"I don't know what it's like to be depressed, but I'll listen to you."
"I can see how the pain is affecting you. Feel free to cry on my shoulder."
I get sensitive and defensive when people try to be nice to me. I'm not talking about losing someone to suicide, but my battle with depression and eating disorders. I know they aren't the same thing, but I get annoyed when people say things like:
"Oh, your depressed? I've been depressed, too" (Usually they haven't, and if they have I don't care)
"Just eat in moderation" (I can't! I either starve or binge!)
"No one said life was fair/easy!" (*screams in anger*)
"Have you tried _____________?" (You think I haven't tried anything?)
"Do you feel like crying?" (No, I feel like making you cry.)
"Some people have worse things to deal with" (You think I care about other people?)
"You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself and move on!" (There is a chemical imbalance in my brain! I can't just move on!)
"Have you tried not being depressed?" (Again, it's a chemical imbalance. Even taking meds doesn't make me better. It just helps me function)
I like getting a really good tight hug and holding on for a few seconds. Then prefer for them to say something like:
"Let me know if you need to talk"
"Just remember that you are loved"
"I'm here for you"
"You're so important to me"
"Even though this may feel permanent, it's not. I'll be by your side as you get through this."
"I don't know what it's like to be depressed, but I'll listen to you."
"I can see how the pain is affecting you. Feel free to cry on my shoulder."
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