What's love got to do with it? When there is no respect.
After my hubby and I had our morning conversation. What he said opened up a thought... Him and his mother are at odd ends because of the lack of respect she has for him. Why is it that parents feel they have the right to speak down to and/or degrade their child? Even after their child isn't a child anymore and has a child of their own? My question is should, an "I love you" erase all the times disrespectful things are said and done?
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Comments
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Hi, I stumbled upon your entry here and can relate tremendously. My mother is like this to me. I am 36 years old and have been a mother for almost 10 years. For the most part, we are pretty good, especially since I finally moved out of her house and on my own with my kid. But every once in a while, she talks to me and puts me down (in front of my child most of the time) about all the things I do "wrong" in her eyes. Apparently, she forgets the multiple things she did wrong as a mother.
As for your question, I really can't answer it because "I love you" is very rarely, if at all, said in the relationship I have with my mother. I don't say it because I feel uncomfortable doing so. Not because I DON'T love her, but because I do. If that makes sense. In essence, she doesn't recieve emotional and physical love very well so I have refrained from saying or showing it in that manner over the years.
Anyway, I can relate to what your husband's mother is like. It is a phenomon that is not to uncommon.Posted 07-23-2013 at 11:36 AM by claudiabette
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I am adopted and grew up an only child. So I have been the good and bad of the households dramas. That has kind of inducted me into playing the of part of the victim and yet, the perpetrator. However, I am now a mother of 11. These days I can relate to the humilities a parent tends to feel comfortable thrashing at their children. But, I cannot lie and say that I have not done this myself. If anyone chooses to blame our history of how we were treated or how we are still being treated by our own parents for how we treat our ourselves or our own children today.. then shame on us. Because we too are now grown and should know right from wrong. Maybe you need to sit down and discuss this issue on a one on one private conversation. Let the person(s) know that if they cannot talk to you as an adult and keep their negative, pessimistic, opinions away from your children or others, then your visits may very well be less. Offer them a time to crap u out privately so that if u yourself need to voice YOUR opinion you will each keep others and most importantly the children out of drama. Remind them and yourselves that it takes all the mistakes made in life to LEARN from and hopefully educate or share with others. Maybe, your experiences can help others hopefully generate better choices in their(our) lives.Posted 07-25-2013 at 10:31 AM by momsrule_11
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Thank you both for taking the time and posting to my blog. It actually goes a little bit deeper than what I posted. I just don't understand how a mother could give false testimony about her child so not chalantly and make herself the victim in the matter. The mother will curse her son out.. Remind him how he's just like his father.. (She considers his father a piece of poop) The first mistake any mother can make is compare the person they love ( your child) the most with the person they "despise" (their father). Then does it out loud and with an audience. Then she says how much she misses him. Wow! This person has a few loose screws. I never thought I'd see this side of her. She has a lot of growing up to do. Maturity doesn't come with age. I am seeing it first hand.Posted 07-28-2013 at 09:14 AM by SilentinMA
