When Parenting Plans Go Awry...
Posted 09-21-2012 at 07:51 AM by Urban Sasquatch
My son put on a pair of pyjamas last night that caused an immediate flashback (the horrible, traumatic kind) for me.
You see, I got these particular jammies for him a bit large, on purpose, in order for a growing boy to be able to keep something for longer than a week or two. They're cute jammies and on one side they have a large monkey's face (the childish, stylized kind). In fact these pyjamas were the precursor to my constant reference to my son being made out of "monkey beans". Childish, yes; but FUN. If you don't believe me, say it a few times: Monkey beans -- and see if you don't end up smiling.
So a couple of years ago when my boy was just three and these pyjamas were new and large and clumsy on him and thus he didn't wear them often (he's five now and they barely fit at all), I decided I would be the funny daddy -- you know, that FUN daddy who plays jokes and tricks and does silly things!
I got the monkey pyjamas and I put them on my head.
I put them on my head in such a way the monkey was on my head and face, and then I staggered into the evening setting of the living room crying plaintively "Heeelllllp! HELP me! There's a MONKEY on mah haid!"
It was amusing to hear my little boy's voice shouting "I'LL help you, Daddy!", and I bent over in anticipation of him pulling the jammies off my noggin.
**BAM!** I nearly swore because I was certain as I'd bent over I'd slammed my head into the metal dip-bar from a weight rack I had there at the time. I was seeing stars and trying to straighten up but enjoying nearly no success because of the sudden onset of dizziness. Staggering, I tried to catch my balance by leaning over and placing my hands on my knees.
**BAM! BAM-BAM-BAM!!!**
The blows came in such rapid succession I was completely bewildered and couldn't reason through the haze as tunnel-vision closed in around me. My legs were crumpling beneath me and as my shoulder hit the floor I heard my son's desperate voice, crying "Did I get him, Daddy? Do I need to hit him again?"
You see, I got these particular jammies for him a bit large, on purpose, in order for a growing boy to be able to keep something for longer than a week or two. They're cute jammies and on one side they have a large monkey's face (the childish, stylized kind). In fact these pyjamas were the precursor to my constant reference to my son being made out of "monkey beans". Childish, yes; but FUN. If you don't believe me, say it a few times: Monkey beans -- and see if you don't end up smiling.
So a couple of years ago when my boy was just three and these pyjamas were new and large and clumsy on him and thus he didn't wear them often (he's five now and they barely fit at all), I decided I would be the funny daddy -- you know, that FUN daddy who plays jokes and tricks and does silly things!
I got the monkey pyjamas and I put them on my head.
I put them on my head in such a way the monkey was on my head and face, and then I staggered into the evening setting of the living room crying plaintively "Heeelllllp! HELP me! There's a MONKEY on mah haid!"
It was amusing to hear my little boy's voice shouting "I'LL help you, Daddy!", and I bent over in anticipation of him pulling the jammies off my noggin.
**BAM!** I nearly swore because I was certain as I'd bent over I'd slammed my head into the metal dip-bar from a weight rack I had there at the time. I was seeing stars and trying to straighten up but enjoying nearly no success because of the sudden onset of dizziness. Staggering, I tried to catch my balance by leaning over and placing my hands on my knees.
**BAM! BAM-BAM-BAM!!!**
The blows came in such rapid succession I was completely bewildered and couldn't reason through the haze as tunnel-vision closed in around me. My legs were crumpling beneath me and as my shoulder hit the floor I heard my son's desperate voice, crying "Did I get him, Daddy? Do I need to hit him again?"
Total Comments 1
Comments
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I have tears of laughter filling my eyes!!!! (At your expense of course.
)
Hope you had some Boo-Boo Buddies on hand, or rather on your head.
Posted 09-27-2012 at 07:45 PM by TheImportersWife
