Doors and Windows...
Posted 12-26-2011 at 03:54 PM by Pikantari
Knowing that we would part from one another today, we lay there in bed last night, cuddling as normal. My hands glide across his chest and stomach and nearly touches his hand. Suddenly I feel his hand grasping mine. I lift my head to look at his face and he says, "You know what?" I say, "What?" He then, with a bit of a giggle, says, "I think I just love you, Ma'am...."
I can't help but smile when he says little things like that, and that is exactly what I did. I am here with my kids at his house and he has gone to visit his family a few hours away. I miss him already.
Within the past several days, somehow, I feel that we have gotten much closer.
***************************************
I took the two and a half hour drive to pick up my kids this morning and had a little talk with their dad. He had never treated me well at all and finally we are able to be civil with one another and communicate.
I do think he still wants to try and be controlling over me and he has one last way to do it......
We are still married. We have been separated for over four years. I have taken care of all the papers and all he needs to do is just file them. He won't.
I looked to him today and said, "It is time, Jim. It has been more than four years and it is time." he looks to me, and says, "Yea, I know it is."
As much as he hated me after I left, I thought he would have filed for divorce right when one of us were able to, after one year of separation. He didn't. He still hasn't.
Right in the eye, today, I looked at him. I told him. You pick a day. He says he wishes he could, he knows it is time. He cant just take off like that. I told him even if he had just a few hours to let me know. I will drive the two and a half hours, and I will pay for it.
I put my arm around his back and gave him a half-way hug, he gave me one back.
It kind of felt weird. I never get to talk to him about anything because his girlfriend or mother are always standing there but neither were there today.
I have opened a wonderful door in my life with J, and I feel like I may become stuck in place. I feel like this other door needs to be closed, and it isn't.
I talked to J on the cell after the kids and I left and let him know what I had said, and he said that's good, needs to be done.
More to come...
I can't help but smile when he says little things like that, and that is exactly what I did. I am here with my kids at his house and he has gone to visit his family a few hours away. I miss him already.
Within the past several days, somehow, I feel that we have gotten much closer.
***************************************
I took the two and a half hour drive to pick up my kids this morning and had a little talk with their dad. He had never treated me well at all and finally we are able to be civil with one another and communicate.
I do think he still wants to try and be controlling over me and he has one last way to do it......
We are still married. We have been separated for over four years. I have taken care of all the papers and all he needs to do is just file them. He won't.
I looked to him today and said, "It is time, Jim. It has been more than four years and it is time." he looks to me, and says, "Yea, I know it is."
As much as he hated me after I left, I thought he would have filed for divorce right when one of us were able to, after one year of separation. He didn't. He still hasn't.
Right in the eye, today, I looked at him. I told him. You pick a day. He says he wishes he could, he knows it is time. He cant just take off like that. I told him even if he had just a few hours to let me know. I will drive the two and a half hours, and I will pay for it.
I put my arm around his back and gave him a half-way hug, he gave me one back.
It kind of felt weird. I never get to talk to him about anything because his girlfriend or mother are always standing there but neither were there today.
I have opened a wonderful door in my life with J, and I feel like I may become stuck in place. I feel like this other door needs to be closed, and it isn't.
I talked to J on the cell after the kids and I left and let him know what I had said, and he said that's good, needs to be done.
More to come...
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