The Careless Christmas Tree
Posted 12-12-2011 at 07:15 AM by Pikantari
Even though we are not together anymore, it has still been cause for pain. Every year at Christmas time I see my tree and many of my ornaments and at first it made me sad. The next few years it made me extremely angry.
Even just last year, I cannot begin to explain how angry I would get when I would walk into the ex husbands living room in December, which is actually his girlfriends home.
I see the Christmas tree he bought me for my birthday about five or six years ago sitting in his girlfriends house and I get upset. MY tree in HER living room. Doesn't seem right to me.
It was one of the many things he had to have. The kids and I left with almost nothing that September day four years. On this day, I will not get into all of that. Why? Because today, I sit in front of a DIFFERENT tree in a DIFFERENT house.
I took the kids home last night and his girlfriend and son were putting the tree up as he watched, saying where this or that was crooked. She was getting rather aggravated with him and in turn, with her son. I have only ever seen her with no emotion, happy or sad. None.
I stood there looking at the tree and wanted to tell her where she needed to fix it but only smiled. I don't care if my tree is in her house this year. Its her tree now. Its her man that treated me badly, and she can have them both.
This morning I sit directly across from his tree. This is a mans tree, I have to laugh. There are Star Trek ornaments plaguing the thing. They light up and talk. I sat here last weekend and asked him where my ornaments would go, if they were to be put on.
He looks at the tree and then to me and he smiles.. Back at the tree, and back to me. "We have to get you your own tree." I tell him, "That works."
This is the first year that the tree didn't bother me, at all. I didn't care in the least. I imagine people would wonder why I am writing about it if I didn't care. With that said, I suppose I do care.
I care because finally, I am free from it. I have no idea how a symbol had me so torn up all these years, but it did.
Even just last year, I cannot begin to explain how angry I would get when I would walk into the ex husbands living room in December, which is actually his girlfriends home.
I see the Christmas tree he bought me for my birthday about five or six years ago sitting in his girlfriends house and I get upset. MY tree in HER living room. Doesn't seem right to me.
It was one of the many things he had to have. The kids and I left with almost nothing that September day four years. On this day, I will not get into all of that. Why? Because today, I sit in front of a DIFFERENT tree in a DIFFERENT house.
I took the kids home last night and his girlfriend and son were putting the tree up as he watched, saying where this or that was crooked. She was getting rather aggravated with him and in turn, with her son. I have only ever seen her with no emotion, happy or sad. None.
I stood there looking at the tree and wanted to tell her where she needed to fix it but only smiled. I don't care if my tree is in her house this year. Its her tree now. Its her man that treated me badly, and she can have them both.
This morning I sit directly across from his tree. This is a mans tree, I have to laugh. There are Star Trek ornaments plaguing the thing. They light up and talk. I sat here last weekend and asked him where my ornaments would go, if they were to be put on.
He looks at the tree and then to me and he smiles.. Back at the tree, and back to me. "We have to get you your own tree." I tell him, "That works."
This is the first year that the tree didn't bother me, at all. I didn't care in the least. I imagine people would wonder why I am writing about it if I didn't care. With that said, I suppose I do care.
I care because finally, I am free from it. I have no idea how a symbol had me so torn up all these years, but it did.
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