Everything and Nothing

I was just talking to a friend about him. About what is going on and how I am hurting.

This person knows him, but even more, knows his two best friends. They don't understand it either...

I told her I was not looking for him. I will be 38 tomorrow and am at an age where I should already be settled in life, the way I feel when I am with him.

I told her I knew he was the one. I said he is sweeter than any other man or person I have ever known and that he has treated me better than all people combined.

He was not my type but I gave him a chance. I decided he was everything I never had and everything I ever wanted.

She tells me I need to tell him how I feel, that I need to fight for him.

I am afraid of losing him, and with that said, I wonder if he is also as afraid of losing me, and that is why he keeps us in this state of limbo. If he does nothing, he loses nothing.

Life can be difficult, at best.

If you are reading this and wondering if I am the other woman, no am not. It is just he and I, and some leftover things hovering from the past.

=(