Sevens....Essence of Aaron
Seven years ago today on 7-7-01, I opened the door to find two policemen standing on my doorstep. One identified himself as the local police chaplain, and after verifying who I was, went on to regretfully inform me that our 16 year old son, Aaron (our only child) and 2 of his friends, both age 17, had been killed in a freak car accident.
Since that time...my husband and I have spent many years trying to recover from what the policeman told me on that morning. Have we recovered? Yes and no. Yes, we've learned to go on without him...because we had to. Yes, we laugh and still continue to celebrate life together. Yes, we go to our jobs and lead fairly productive lives. We have led a grief recovery class at church and I have written a book for other bereaved parents. But is life ever the same? Do you ever completely recover? Am I the same person? Categorically, no.
I remember so much the person that Aaron had developed into. He was a teen-ager, often exasperating.
... but he was also extremely insightful, compassionate,fun and humorous! That was the "essence of Aaron." When we weren't arguing
, I enjoyed him so much! I still think about him every day...and I miss him every day. Even seven years later.
So what are the take-away lessons here? Well, two things, I think. First, never have kids! It makes your heart too vulnerable! What was the line from the old Simon & Garfunkel song? "If I'd never loved, I never would've cried..." Just kidding here...sort of.
Seriously, though, after the boys' accident, a reporter from the Dallas Morning News interviewed me and one thing he asked me (I don't know why) was if there was anything I hoped his friends would learn from this. I don't know what he expected me to say since the accident was NOT a result of drinking, drugs, racing etc. What I told him was that I hoped Aaron's friends learned that they needed to get their lives straight because none of us are promised tomorrow. Of course, as a Christian, I think that entails making a "quality" commitment of your life to Jesus Christ. (Aaron and his two friends had made that kind of commitment.)
And secondly, the thing I try to remember since then along those lines is to remember that our loved ones are also not promised tomorrow. We should cherish the moments we have with them. Try to remember and concentrate on that which is eternal, that which truly matters.
At Aaron's memorial service, over 40 teens went forward to commit their lives to Christ. I know Aaron would have been pleased. That is part of Aaron's legacy.
Since that time...my husband and I have spent many years trying to recover from what the policeman told me on that morning. Have we recovered? Yes and no. Yes, we've learned to go on without him...because we had to. Yes, we laugh and still continue to celebrate life together. Yes, we go to our jobs and lead fairly productive lives. We have led a grief recovery class at church and I have written a book for other bereaved parents. But is life ever the same? Do you ever completely recover? Am I the same person? Categorically, no.
I remember so much the person that Aaron had developed into. He was a teen-ager, often exasperating.
... but he was also extremely insightful, compassionate,fun and humorous! That was the "essence of Aaron." When we weren't arguing, I enjoyed him so much! I still think about him every day...and I miss him every day. Even seven years later.So what are the take-away lessons here? Well, two things, I think. First, never have kids! It makes your heart too vulnerable! What was the line from the old Simon & Garfunkel song? "If I'd never loved, I never would've cried..." Just kidding here...sort of.
Seriously, though, after the boys' accident, a reporter from the Dallas Morning News interviewed me and one thing he asked me (I don't know why) was if there was anything I hoped his friends would learn from this. I don't know what he expected me to say since the accident was NOT a result of drinking, drugs, racing etc. What I told him was that I hoped Aaron's friends learned that they needed to get their lives straight because none of us are promised tomorrow. Of course, as a Christian, I think that entails making a "quality" commitment of your life to Jesus Christ. (Aaron and his two friends had made that kind of commitment.)
And secondly, the thing I try to remember since then along those lines is to remember that our loved ones are also not promised tomorrow. We should cherish the moments we have with them. Try to remember and concentrate on that which is eternal, that which truly matters.
At Aaron's memorial service, over 40 teens went forward to commit their lives to Christ. I know Aaron would have been pleased. That is part of Aaron's legacy.
Total Comments 8
Comments
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My heart is with you this day Kay, and my tears are for the beauty and comfort you bring to others through your book and your wonderful faith in God..~hugs~BevPosted 07-07-2008 at 09:18 AM by Miss Blue
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my thoughts and prayers are with you today kaykay.Posted 07-07-2008 at 09:32 AM by arguy1973
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kaykay, my thoughts are with you as well. You are such a wonderful lady, and even in your neverending grief/sadness, you reach out to others. Not only are you reaching out to others, you are continuing to do God's will which is deepening the seal that Christ put on you. Bless you today hon, I wish I could hug you and share the day with you. aiangelPosted 07-07-2008 at 09:50 AM by aiangel_writer
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You are so wise. I think if you often as you are one of my "Job's".
God bless you both, kaykay.Posted 07-08-2008 at 08:43 AM by Alpha8207
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Kaykay, you've touched me again with your story and your feelings. Your words ring in my ears, especially at this time. God love you and bless you.Posted 07-08-2008 at 09:17 PM by mams1559
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Thanks, guys, for all the kind words. Bless you. ((hugs!))Posted 07-10-2008 at 10:06 AM by kaykay
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(((((((HUGS KAYKAY)))))))
I immediately thought of the following poem after reading your remembrances of Aaron.
And God Said
I said, "God, I hurt." And God said, I know."
I said, "God, I cry a lot." And God said, "That is why I gave you tears."
I said, "God, I am so depressed." And God said, "That is why I gave you Sunshine."
I said, "God, life is so hard." And God said, "That is why I gave you loved ones."
I said, "God, my son died." And God said, "So did mine."
I said, "God, it is such a loss." And God said, "I saw my son nailed to a cross."
I said, "God, but your son lives." And God said, "So does yours."
I said, "God, where are they now?" And God said, "Mine is on My right and Yours is in the Light."
I said, "God, it hurts." And God said, "I know."
~Authors K. C. and Myke Kuzmic~
Thank you, dear sister, for sharing your grief and letting us get to know Aaron through your words.Posted 07-10-2008 at 01:12 PM by Blueberry
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I still have aches thinking of the son I lost who was stillborn. I can't imagine how much more difficult it was for you to have first known and cherished your son for 16 years. I am sad for you that you and your husband have had to go through this.Posted 07-11-2008 at 05:37 PM by emeraldsky
