A post about gardening (in Florida) con't

So anyway, after only being in my new home in Florida for a few days I noticed that not only was my hair color different from all my neighbors but they all drove huge American make cars and had gardens and I didn't.

Well, my car was new, I can't dye my hair grey and age 40 years overnight so I thought I will plant a garden. Not just any garden, but the "Disneyland" of all gardens. This garden is going to be huge and like Disney, visited by many.

I never had a garden before but how hard can it be? I'm a guy so I don't ask for directions and I'm not about to walk into Home Depot and ask a stupid question like "how do you plant a seed?" So I bought a big bag of seeds and a shovel. The cute girl at the checkout looked at me like I was from outer space but she didn't comment. "Disney garden in my backyard project" well on its way.

I started digging a large area where this monster garden was going to thrive. The Florida grass was tough to dig up. The "dirt" was a liitle sandy. As I toiled in the noon day sun, one by one most of my new neighbors came over to introduce themselves. My plan to fit into the "hood" was working, and I didn't even put 1 seed in the ground yet. With all the visitors, planting took 4 hours rather than the 45 minutes I planned. I learned something about the Florida sun that day. My skin was bright red and painful but I thought no pain no gain.

I woke up the next day, I guess the same as any proud large garden planter would and took a look out of the window at my garden. It was covered with birds! There were birds of every different color and size, just like at Disney. I went out and scared them away but they returned as soon as I went back in. I hoped that none of the neighbors say this.

That day, neighbors started showing up at my door and inviting me to things. This was a unusual because no one came to the front door since I moved in. A dinner party. A get together with drinks. One even brought a pie and invited me to a small neighborhood party. All in 1 day. My plan to be one of the locals was working. I have my "garden" to thank even though I think the birds ate all the seeds.

I got to the dinner party a little late but the food was good and all seemed to be going well. Then someone asked me how the garden was going. Before I could answer everyone started to roar with laughter. Next came "You have the biggest bird feeder I've ever seen". I now realized why I was in such demand, I was the entertainment. At the next get together I was presented with a homemade "bird sanctuary" sign on a stick, to side splitting laughter of course. It was that night I devised a plan to remedy the situation.