This blog is basically to chart my progress in trying to lose weight...
This is a Record of my daily events including my family when appropriate for my other family members to see if they choose to.
This is my legacy, for my family to read after I am dead and burried. So, any thing on here is meant for them only and if it offends anyone, my apologies, but, its not meant for you and them
Chow for now...
May the LORD Bless all who see this.
I wish you well...
Jesse
This is a Record of my daily events including my family when appropriate for my other family members to see if they choose to.
This is my legacy, for my family to read after I am dead and burried. So, any thing on here is meant for them only and if it offends anyone, my apologies, but, its not meant for you and them
Chow for now...
May the LORD Bless all who see this.
I wish you well...
Jesse
LORD, Im Done
Posted 07-16-2011 at 12:41 AM by woodworkingmenace
LORD... I wanna come Home...
My body is broken, and my spirit is laid bare before the World to witness, that I have no more fight left in me...as, it is damaged goods now.
My heart is weak enough now, they want to put in a 3rd wire, for a defibulator, to shock me and bring me to my knees-->They call it an 'upgrade'.. I said "NO".
My kidneys are losing thier ability to expel the water from my body, and its backing up into my lungs, because the heart wont pump it hard enough to force it to leave my body. Someday, if I live long enough, I will simply 'drown' with the fluid in my lungs...(Not a pleasant thought, because my Mother in Law died that way, one of the most wonderful woman I know, and loved).
This life stream has circumstances that are flowing around me, and I cant alter the course, or influence those participants in any way.
My eyes haze over with the tears of bitterness and fustration, at the circumstances that are surrounding me, and I prayed that I would have guidance to understand and help those along the way, but, it never came, and I could do nothing, or, I was unable to recognise it, and it passed me by.
I am giving up the fight. There is no use continuing for me, except to exist, and take up space and resources, that others may utilize better than I can.
I know, I cant 'make' anyone do what is 'right', only suggest what is right, and still see them go down the path of destruction and not be able to do a thing about it.
I 'cant' hate those I love...It sours my spirit and twists my soul to even think to give it a notion, and to contemplate it is beyond what I want to experience in this lifestream. Let the flow continue with out me, and I just hope that some influence that I have made, will continue after I am gone, as, people always reconsider what has gone past, as they delve headlong into thier future, towards what ever path that they will encounter in the existence we call life.
Im broken in body and spirit now. Nothing left to do, but, await YOUR decision on when YOU plan to remove me from this life that I find hard to bear now.
I wont end my life, I will wait til YOU come to take me Home, all I ask, is that it be soon.
This is my last post on here.
No more fight is left in me.
Im 'done'...
Therefore,
I shall pen the only words left ...
I QUIT
My body is broken, and my spirit is laid bare before the World to witness, that I have no more fight left in me...as, it is damaged goods now.
My heart is weak enough now, they want to put in a 3rd wire, for a defibulator, to shock me and bring me to my knees-->They call it an 'upgrade'.. I said "NO".
My kidneys are losing thier ability to expel the water from my body, and its backing up into my lungs, because the heart wont pump it hard enough to force it to leave my body. Someday, if I live long enough, I will simply 'drown' with the fluid in my lungs...(Not a pleasant thought, because my Mother in Law died that way, one of the most wonderful woman I know, and loved).
This life stream has circumstances that are flowing around me, and I cant alter the course, or influence those participants in any way.
My eyes haze over with the tears of bitterness and fustration, at the circumstances that are surrounding me, and I prayed that I would have guidance to understand and help those along the way, but, it never came, and I could do nothing, or, I was unable to recognise it, and it passed me by.
I am giving up the fight. There is no use continuing for me, except to exist, and take up space and resources, that others may utilize better than I can.
I know, I cant 'make' anyone do what is 'right', only suggest what is right, and still see them go down the path of destruction and not be able to do a thing about it.
I 'cant' hate those I love...It sours my spirit and twists my soul to even think to give it a notion, and to contemplate it is beyond what I want to experience in this lifestream. Let the flow continue with out me, and I just hope that some influence that I have made, will continue after I am gone, as, people always reconsider what has gone past, as they delve headlong into thier future, towards what ever path that they will encounter in the existence we call life.
Im broken in body and spirit now. Nothing left to do, but, await YOUR decision on when YOU plan to remove me from this life that I find hard to bear now.
I wont end my life, I will wait til YOU come to take me Home, all I ask, is that it be soon.
This is my last post on here.
No more fight is left in me.
Im 'done'...
Therefore,
I shall pen the only words left ...
I QUIT
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