Counseling Session #2
Posted 07-14-2011 at 06:53 AM by LookinForMayberry
Last week I learned that my coping skills were failing because I was blocking my natural sense of humor and tender side. Instead, I was leading with my serious, judgmental side. It took nearly thirty minutes of crying my eyes out to come to that and I left exhausted.
My homework was to respond to situations FIRST with humor and notice when I was judging. I didn't have to wait beyond getting home to get a chance for both. Both that night and the next morning gave me immediate feedback on both.
I reported back this week that while I was able to exercise humor and refrain from judging, both took effort and didn't come naturally. When she started exploring why that might be, and asked why humor and tenderness was being blocked, poking at those walls, I started "hearing" my mom's voice in my head, and physically tensing and twitching.
"Don't you get smart with me, young lady!" screamed out, viciously.
"I'll give you something to cry about."
Oh, boy!
So this week's homework is to mentally erase mom's image and voice when they pop up, and let myself feel my humorous thoughts and tenderness, as if I were spending time with that two year old that has been bottled up inside -- for 53 years. (Sigh.)
When I got home from that session, it was to a quiet house. I went out to my yard and watered the newly planted flowers and shrubs. I sensed how much I loved the solace and beauty of my yard -- even in its most straggly moments. I "nursed" my hurt that my mom would be so harsh, and reminded myself that that mom is not today's mom, and we all make mistakes without intending to do the harm we do. I wasn't exactly welling up with laughter, yet, but at least I was feeling more tender.
Perhaps today will bring the laughter.
Next week, we'll do it again.
God be with me, you, and all that suffer the hurts and pains of others. I hope this helps you if you are blocking your tender, or humorous parts -- or blocking others from theirs.
My homework was to respond to situations FIRST with humor and notice when I was judging. I didn't have to wait beyond getting home to get a chance for both. Both that night and the next morning gave me immediate feedback on both.
I reported back this week that while I was able to exercise humor and refrain from judging, both took effort and didn't come naturally. When she started exploring why that might be, and asked why humor and tenderness was being blocked, poking at those walls, I started "hearing" my mom's voice in my head, and physically tensing and twitching.
"Don't you get smart with me, young lady!" screamed out, viciously.
"I'll give you something to cry about."
Oh, boy!
So this week's homework is to mentally erase mom's image and voice when they pop up, and let myself feel my humorous thoughts and tenderness, as if I were spending time with that two year old that has been bottled up inside -- for 53 years. (Sigh.)
When I got home from that session, it was to a quiet house. I went out to my yard and watered the newly planted flowers and shrubs. I sensed how much I loved the solace and beauty of my yard -- even in its most straggly moments. I "nursed" my hurt that my mom would be so harsh, and reminded myself that that mom is not today's mom, and we all make mistakes without intending to do the harm we do. I wasn't exactly welling up with laughter, yet, but at least I was feeling more tender.
Perhaps today will bring the laughter.
Next week, we'll do it again.
God be with me, you, and all that suffer the hurts and pains of others. I hope this helps you if you are blocking your tender, or humorous parts -- or blocking others from theirs.
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