Litterally going buggy tomorrow is the official wake up call today just feels like a dream.
Tmorrow is the 17th of April, K is due May 13th so a little less than a month before her due date I think she is going to come sooner my daughter is haveing a baby a 6th generation living generation Girl it goes My Aunt, My Mother Me My Sister, My Daughter, and her Daughter which is due shortly that is alot of living female there is also my Aunts Daughter she is much older than me and my cousin who is older than me which would make us 8 generations of living females wow we have 1 short of a baseball team and just enough for a basketball team it is strange thinking how almost none of us really know eachother sad really I have been trying to reach out to them but I cant find anyone accept one of my cousins she lives in AK and I know wheremy 2 male ones are and I know my Aunt I know my mother as well but my sister is so distant it hurts sometimes I need to really worry about me for a while I am not healthy and I will be careing for 2 little ones my 10 year old son who about to become a uncle and my daugters baby who is about to be born I am all tired out! How does one feel about such things and understand ones self when it hits yourself smack in the forhead!
Wake Chika time is almost up for now until later I wonder if anyone is even following me yet?
Life as I know it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted 04-17-2011 at 11:57 PM by lisajewishcatholic
Well babyshower went off with out one single hitch and my daughter my beautiful daughteris going to bring a new life in this world wow that is so beautiful, I know this may sound crazy or even unkind but I keep haveing these dreams she dies she gives birth and shortly passes on maybe it's just fear she has had some problems in the past which may have damaged part of her body I have always felt something is going to take her away from me just as we finnally bond and start a real careing for eachother relationship I want to believe its fear and stress because I just got her back in my life she is my baby I fought so hard and the state just took her I never had a chance and I just wonder if God is letting us have this time together so I can prepare for what is yet to come it's much better if I believe its stress.........
the moon is high and and we had a beautiful day filled with celebration and joy and happiness and love there was life in everybody today and it's now closed to and end for today. I wish we could live this day over and over I am not afraid of ageing or death or being a grandma I am afraid of loosing her again. My youngest listens to me cry myself to sleep and often asks me why I cry I tell him it's not sadness its because I have been luck ya I have a shady past I have a record and did my share of drugs and drinking and I have even broken Gods laws umpteen million times I have diffrent fathers for my children but I am lucky I kept there developing bodys safe and clean and well cared for myself when they were growing in my belly and God gifted me BEAUTIFUL BABYS WITH NO IMPERFECTIONS AND THEY ARE VERY INTELLIGENT. If I do loose her I wish her to know she is my beloved, and I want her to feel my presence and heart where ever she goes
the moon is high and and we had a beautiful day filled with celebration and joy and happiness and love there was life in everybody today and it's now closed to and end for today. I wish we could live this day over and over I am not afraid of ageing or death or being a grandma I am afraid of loosing her again. My youngest listens to me cry myself to sleep and often asks me why I cry I tell him it's not sadness its because I have been luck ya I have a shady past I have a record and did my share of drugs and drinking and I have even broken Gods laws umpteen million times I have diffrent fathers for my children but I am lucky I kept there developing bodys safe and clean and well cared for myself when they were growing in my belly and God gifted me BEAUTIFUL BABYS WITH NO IMPERFECTIONS AND THEY ARE VERY INTELLIGENT. If I do loose her I wish her to know she is my beloved, and I want her to feel my presence and heart where ever she goes
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