Need Advice On What I Should Do... :o/
So, This is my first blog on here. It may be a bit long since I have had so much on my mind that has needed to get off of my chest. I will try to keep it short though! :)
Basically, I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. Our relationship has gone through MANY rough times (dirty texts to his ex gf's, secretly meeting up with girls, always putting me in second place for everything, etc) which has made the trust level in our relationship pretty low. Obviously I forgave him for a lot of the things that he has done in the past...due to the fact that I love him tremendously. But, my main issue that I am having right now is whether or not I should stay with him. He has said numerous times that he does not ever want marraige or to have kids, which kills me. I would love to get married someday and to have kids...a family. Our lease is almost up at our current place and he wants to get on a new lease with me. I am hesitant because I honestly don't know if I should continue on in the relationship knowing that we don't want the same things in life. He is also trying to get into photography...not just any photography...but NUDE photography. I know that I should support him in all that he does in life and the choices that he makes...but due to past experiences and the little trust that I have in him, I honestly can't see myself supporting this hobby. I wish he would just get into wedding photography or something of that nature! haha Yes, I have told him that these things bother me and that I really want a family some day and that I do not want him to do nude photography. I asked him if there was some way we could compromise...but he is just dead set in his ways. He is one of the most selfish people I have ever known and its always been his way or no way.
Anyways, I am 26 years old and he is 27. I love him dearly and the thought of being without him is so painful. I couldn't imagine life without him in it....without waking up next to him every day and going to sleep next to him every night. But, I just can't seem to get over the fact that he just doesn't want a family. I don't understand why I let it get to me as much as I do...but it really does hurt me. I want nothing more than to have a wedding with all of our family and friends. To have kids some day. I just don't know if I should give up the things that I really want in life because I don't want to lose him. Or if I should move on. It is so hard! And our lease is up soon...which means that if I do decide to move on with my life, without him, I have to let him know soon. I just don't know what to do. I am afraid that I will be 30 or older and still be with him.....hoping that he will some day want the same things that I want, but then it'll be too late to start all over with somebody new. :(
I apologize if this blog is all over the place and I hope that I am making sense of all of this! haha Just trying to make my long story short as I can. :)
Have any of you gone through something like this?? How did you end things without it being an ugly fight or without totally hurting them?? Or did you stay with them and they ended up changing their outlook on family,etc? It is on my mind daily...and any advice or input...would help dearly. :)
Thank you for reading.
~Jessie
Basically, I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. Our relationship has gone through MANY rough times (dirty texts to his ex gf's, secretly meeting up with girls, always putting me in second place for everything, etc) which has made the trust level in our relationship pretty low. Obviously I forgave him for a lot of the things that he has done in the past...due to the fact that I love him tremendously. But, my main issue that I am having right now is whether or not I should stay with him. He has said numerous times that he does not ever want marraige or to have kids, which kills me. I would love to get married someday and to have kids...a family. Our lease is almost up at our current place and he wants to get on a new lease with me. I am hesitant because I honestly don't know if I should continue on in the relationship knowing that we don't want the same things in life. He is also trying to get into photography...not just any photography...but NUDE photography. I know that I should support him in all that he does in life and the choices that he makes...but due to past experiences and the little trust that I have in him, I honestly can't see myself supporting this hobby. I wish he would just get into wedding photography or something of that nature! haha Yes, I have told him that these things bother me and that I really want a family some day and that I do not want him to do nude photography. I asked him if there was some way we could compromise...but he is just dead set in his ways. He is one of the most selfish people I have ever known and its always been his way or no way.
Anyways, I am 26 years old and he is 27. I love him dearly and the thought of being without him is so painful. I couldn't imagine life without him in it....without waking up next to him every day and going to sleep next to him every night. But, I just can't seem to get over the fact that he just doesn't want a family. I don't understand why I let it get to me as much as I do...but it really does hurt me. I want nothing more than to have a wedding with all of our family and friends. To have kids some day. I just don't know if I should give up the things that I really want in life because I don't want to lose him. Or if I should move on. It is so hard! And our lease is up soon...which means that if I do decide to move on with my life, without him, I have to let him know soon. I just don't know what to do. I am afraid that I will be 30 or older and still be with him.....hoping that he will some day want the same things that I want, but then it'll be too late to start all over with somebody new. :(
I apologize if this blog is all over the place and I hope that I am making sense of all of this! haha Just trying to make my long story short as I can. :)
Have any of you gone through something like this?? How did you end things without it being an ugly fight or without totally hurting them?? Or did you stay with them and they ended up changing their outlook on family,etc? It is on my mind daily...and any advice or input...would help dearly. :)
Thank you for reading.
~Jessie
Total Comments 5
Comments
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get away from this guy before he really hurts you this is coming from a guy and i am sorryPosted 03-23-2011 at 12:50 PM by gregg martin
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Yeah...I think I know what i am going to have to do.
Thank you gregg for your reply! 
) Love can be so awesome but so crappy!!!! lolPosted 03-23-2011 at 05:36 PM by JessieBug021
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From a guy to
Yeah,it seems that he may be wrong for you.Some people mite never change.I know op-pistes attract but you need to find someone with the same interests as yourself,because life is to short.Posted 03-24-2011 at 05:42 PM by TIM H.
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This guy will 'never' be what you want.
He wont change his ways, or his mind. In fact, he is controlling you.
If you go through with those pictures, then they can show up any place! Internet Porn comes to mind. Once they are on there, they are on the Internet FOREVER!!
If you are not 'comfortable' about doing this...LISTEN to your inner self, because you know yourself better than anyone else, and you know whats right for YOU!
My suggestion? Get Help! Find out why you are willing to make all these 'wrong' choices, simply because you 'love' him. You want a marriage and children. He doesnt share the same thing that you do, yet, your finding ways to be with him, despite what will bring happiness to you, and your willing to 'suffer' for what ever time he stays with you.
You need to start making the right choices. You also need to start asserting yourself and, either deciding your going to live with out this guy, and go on your own, and find the happiness that your entitle to, or, stay with him and suffer his abuse. (Yes, it 'is' abuse, when he starts taking those pictures and can hold that over you, because you wouldnt dare defy him in anything he wants, simply because if he releases them to your Parents or people you know, then you would feel shamed.... You would be held hostage to his every whim, and believe me, he will hold that power and abuse you in more ways than you will ever know in time).
My advice is to get out. Get out while you can. Once your trapped by those pictures, your trapped by the shame of them being around, and the shame you will have in yourself for being 'used' in that way.
Just my two cents worth...
I wish you well...
JessePosted 03-25-2011 at 04:39 PM by woodworkingmenace
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Hey girl, jus read ur blog & it reminded me of an x of mine. Yes my X! & lemme tell u my life ended up great as soon as I left him. Its been 4yrs & it was hard at first but I realize how ****ty he treated me & moved on. Its not easy but time will pass & ull get over him. I am now married to a great man. Yes a man, responsible, independent, hard working & honest. And he's commited to me & only me no other girls. Anyway good luck don't give up. : )Posted 07-29-2011 at 07:04 PM by notperfectchick
