Life is cruel and short

Cruising FB tonight and started thinking about friends. Sort of like that Bruce Springsteen song GLORY DAYS? Who is where and how others you know have done in life. The kind of reminiscing that cause you to be envious one moment and grateful the next.

Then you start typing names in the FB search, to see if some have entered the age of technology. You get a million hits or you get some really whacked variation that has zero relationship to your inquiry.

Then there are the "other" hits. The ones that link to a site off FB. To a general internet site or maybe another social networking site. The one that gets your attention is the link to a newspaper article. You immediately think, WOW, wonder what they are doing? Maybe some cool charity event? Possibly being recognized for some hurculian feat? You click on the link, all excited to see what an old friend has accomplished....

And it is their obituary!!?? WTF is that all about?? The last time you talked (just a few months ago) you were plannnig a visit this summer. He had a new girl-friend, someone who actually enjoyed his personality. He was excited and looking forward to seeing the sun rise..and now you read he dies 2 months ago?? WTF is that?

It wasn't enough he lived with cerebral palsy? It wasn't enough he never walked independently? It wasn't enough he struggled with every mundane activity we take for granted?? WTF is with that?

Suddenly life just got shorter. Suddenly tomorrow looks just a little unsure. Suddenly you wonder how many hours and days have you wasted on worrying about bull ****. Because in the end it is ALL BULL ****.
It really doesn't matter where you lived, what you ate, who you slept with, or how regularly you paid the bills...

What matters is did you LAUGH, did you reach out and hold the hand of a person no one else wanted to touch? Could you hug the person sitting on the corner crying because they had NO ONE...Did you bring a smile to their face with your perseverance and can do attitude?

What have you done with this time to interact with others? When I look back at my short life, do I do so knowing I supported those around me, or do I see regret and missed opportunities to have loved, cared and laughed with others?

My friend Mark died on November 01, 2010 in MAdison Wisconsin. I was 35 when I met him. I was his friend and care-giver for 14 months. Though I had been many places and seen many things durong those 35 years, it wasn't until I met him and lived with him within his "community" that I TRULY understood the purpose of living.

THANK YOU Mark...I wish I had been there that November night. MAybe knowing what a difference you made in this world could have influenced your decision? Maybe you would have smiled, that great big smile you always had, and told yourself life is still an adventure? Maybe if you had known how much you were LOVED and the way you caused others to re-evaluate thier opinion of the disabled...Maybe....you wouldn't have felt so alone and isolated...maybe, just maybe you would have gone to the UW Union that night and not to the docks on LAke Menona....