Letting Life Unfold
Posted 12-07-2010 at 06:43 AM by LookinForMayberry
Seems like all my life I've been trying to control how life comes to me, rejecting anything I don't want, grasping for what I am wanting. Why it's taken me so darned long to figure out how tiring it is, constantly sorting out what I want and don't want, struggling against the flow? -- I cannot answer.
Years ago I won the illustrated Tao Te Ching in a Christmas raffle at work. I should've let it be a lesson to me, but I just admired the pretty pages and the deep passages, and went on with my struggles.
More than fifteen years later, the passages are starting to sink into the gray matter. Actually, I think what's happened is that as I become more Mindful I am picking up on the subtle nuances of life -- that have been smacking me in the face like water from a fire hose.
Maybe I just needed to see someone else doing the same thing, and then realize that their example was meant to teach ME.
Last night I was talking to Mom on the phone, now 80. She was complaining that her family members have dropped in number to count on one hand, and how lonely life can be for one older. I commented on the fact that she has a sister-in-law (that she doesn't like) just an hour's drive away, and her sister lives on the other side of town (who isn't speaking to her). My comment met with her signature silence for about 40 seconds, and was followed by a curt "Thanks." She then went on to complain about something else.
I got the message loud and clear -- we cause our own unhappiness not only by what we seek in our lives, but also by what we avoid. Now I have another area to explore in my Mindfulness practice.
So many lessons, so little time!
Years ago I won the illustrated Tao Te Ching in a Christmas raffle at work. I should've let it be a lesson to me, but I just admired the pretty pages and the deep passages, and went on with my struggles.
More than fifteen years later, the passages are starting to sink into the gray matter. Actually, I think what's happened is that as I become more Mindful I am picking up on the subtle nuances of life -- that have been smacking me in the face like water from a fire hose.
Maybe I just needed to see someone else doing the same thing, and then realize that their example was meant to teach ME.
Last night I was talking to Mom on the phone, now 80. She was complaining that her family members have dropped in number to count on one hand, and how lonely life can be for one older. I commented on the fact that she has a sister-in-law (that she doesn't like) just an hour's drive away, and her sister lives on the other side of town (who isn't speaking to her). My comment met with her signature silence for about 40 seconds, and was followed by a curt "Thanks." She then went on to complain about something else.
I got the message loud and clear -- we cause our own unhappiness not only by what we seek in our lives, but also by what we avoid. Now I have another area to explore in my Mindfulness practice.
So many lessons, so little time!
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