Expectations & Reality
Posted 09-05-2010 at 08:10 AM by LookinForMayberry
As we traveled, I studied a lot of Mindfulness writings by various authors. ALL of them advise to remain present in THIS everlasting moment and don't get entangled in the past or the future. Since I've usually had disappointments about my past (contributing greatly to each present moment's unhappiness), my difficulty was on NOT future-tripping. I constantly imagined how great (or not) the future was going to be when a point was reached. When the moment came, inevitably it wasn't the moment I expected, and the disappointment would color it, once again MAKING me unhappy. (What a dolt I've been.) 
The irony is that even though I KNOW it, and embrace it, I still place expectations on the future. Rather than just letting it happen as it will and knowing I am equipped for it, I form an image in my head of how I want it, and set myself up for another disappointment.
The most recent BIG one was my expectations about coming home from our travels. I thought I would take a couple of months to settle in, get the yard back in order, and then look for volunteer work that would lead to a paying job helping one of my target interest groups: homeless, elderly, or hungry.
A month after getting home, we aren't yet settled (though we've got all the essentials in place), the yard will be at least another two years of clean up and reordering, and I've been working for my former contract employer for a week.
The nice thing is that I've grown enough to NOT be disappointed. Instead, I acknowledge that while the Universe "caught me" in my future-tripping yet again, I was at least able to break the disappointment response.
Praise God that I have a home to return to, and we've been able to start the refurnishing where needed, as well as have some things to settle in with.
Praise God that I've got a nice yard under all the overgrowth and weeds, and the physical capacity to get incremental progress each week.
Praise God that my former employer valued my past work enough to invite me back, and THEN offer me not only contract work (no benefits, just pay), but an employment offer with full benefits. Yippee!
So, while God is still sending me wake-up calls that I haven't yet attained perfection, (
), I can better enjoy the present moment. I will be closer to that golden state when I can enjoy every moment, regardless of the circumstances.
No doubt I've got a few more passes at life before I mount THAT lofty elevation.
Thank goodness I have you to share it with, keeping me in line, calling me on my delusions, and celebrating the advances.
Peace, Love, and Joy be with you and yours this Sunday morning. God be with you, whatever you call IT, for all your moments (however you feel or think about them).
The irony is that even though I KNOW it, and embrace it, I still place expectations on the future. Rather than just letting it happen as it will and knowing I am equipped for it, I form an image in my head of how I want it, and set myself up for another disappointment.
The most recent BIG one was my expectations about coming home from our travels. I thought I would take a couple of months to settle in, get the yard back in order, and then look for volunteer work that would lead to a paying job helping one of my target interest groups: homeless, elderly, or hungry.
A month after getting home, we aren't yet settled (though we've got all the essentials in place), the yard will be at least another two years of clean up and reordering, and I've been working for my former contract employer for a week.
The nice thing is that I've grown enough to NOT be disappointed. Instead, I acknowledge that while the Universe "caught me" in my future-tripping yet again, I was at least able to break the disappointment response.
Praise God that I have a home to return to, and we've been able to start the refurnishing where needed, as well as have some things to settle in with.
Praise God that I've got a nice yard under all the overgrowth and weeds, and the physical capacity to get incremental progress each week.
Praise God that my former employer valued my past work enough to invite me back, and THEN offer me not only contract work (no benefits, just pay), but an employment offer with full benefits. Yippee!
So, while God is still sending me wake-up calls that I haven't yet attained perfection, (
), I can better enjoy the present moment. I will be closer to that golden state when I can enjoy every moment, regardless of the circumstances.No doubt I've got a few more passes at life before I mount THAT lofty elevation.
Thank goodness I have you to share it with, keeping me in line, calling me on my delusions, and celebrating the advances.
Peace, Love, and Joy be with you and yours this Sunday morning. God be with you, whatever you call IT, for all your moments (however you feel or think about them).
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