"Our Japanese Adventure"

The following is a homily that I presented at my church 8/1/2010.

"Just before my partner, Masa, and I left for our annual trip to Japan, I spoke to Rev. Chandler about the possibility of leading a summer worship service. He assured me that there was an "open" Sunday and suggested that he thought it would be well received and appreciated if I spoke about our up coming trip. I agreed--but was uncertain how to do this--I wanted to honor the setting of a worship service and to make my account of a vacation....more than a travelogue or an educational presentation about Japan. That was my challenge.

And then we were off on our 3 week adventure--returning to the place of Masahiro's birth--the embrace of family--the land of familiar places, tastes, smells and sounds (even for me as this was my 5th trip) and a place where, for him language flows easily from thought to speech, without the need for internal translations or gramatical considerations.

For me the language "thing" is quite the opposite--I neither speak nor understand Japanese--so for me the trip to Japan means that I will be unable to understand 99% of what I hear or see in print and my spoken communications will be limited to a few polite phrases I learned by rote, and to pantomime, gestures and facial /vocal expressions.

I won't deny that this was at times frustrating--I am by nature the more gregarious and perhaps loquacioius of the two of us....so there was a bit of role reversal--however with Masa's assistance and the benefit of everyones exceeding tolerance, open hearts and minds, plus a measure of affection and good humor, I found I could understand and make myself understood using "the language of the heart", albeit, assisted at times by Masa's translations..

Indeed one of my messages this morning has to do with the commonality that unites us all--despite language, customs, beliefs and in this case....even the recent history of a war that seperates us. We truly are, "One Family"....interconnected and all related. That which is the same is more significant than that which gets "lost in translation".

As I said, this was my 5th trip with Masa to his home--I know and love the significant others and they know me and have accepted me into the circle of family and friends.

We have also connected to the community--we are familiar to the neighbors and the neighbor's dogs, and to shop keepers,who know our schedule and anticipate our visit; the young ladies at the rail road ticket office who run out to greet us and chatter about where we are going or have been; the friends we have made at the public tennis court...who include Masa in their play and include me by practicing their English and asking questions about America--a country .... that despite the history of war...they seem to admire.

One day we called a cab and the cab driver, who neither of us knew commented to Masa that it was the anniversary of his father's death and he made some kind remarks of condolence.

This kindness and awareness from a man who was a stranger to us was another example to me that.....Yes! We are all Connected!


The timing of this years visit was determined by the anniversary of Mr. K's death. Last year Masa had been able to return home to say good bye to his father and to be there for the funeral and to remain awhile so he and his sister could assist their mother with the social, legal and business affairs associated with closing the estate...all of which are considerable and unfortunately burdensome....both there and here. Then he had returned home to me and our lives in Maine.

Following the funeral.....Mr. K's cremains were returned to his home, where an altar had been set up to memorialize him.
Each day for the past year Mrs. K had served tea and rice in front of his photograph. She had taken time each morning and evening to remember him in prayer......now it was time for his bones to be moved to a repository at his church and to release his spirit to its eternal home. The altar was disassmbled and Masa held the urn containing his father bones, while we made the drive to the church....several hours away.

The memorial service was simple and dignified. It was conducted by representatives of the church and followed a pre-determined order of worship and prayer. It was expected that Masa would speak representing the family. He tried to delegate this function to his sister.....citing "gender equality" and her membership in that religion....as justification. However church representatives persuaded that both his mother, and his father, would be comforted by his participation.

During these "negotiations" Masa had mentioned that I was the one who be more comfortable than himself....which led to my being invited to give a eulogy....which I did in English. Masa gave a tearful translation. This was a moving moment for all of us....and even before the translation....eyes and hearts were full. This participation by a foreigner was probably a first....I know it was meaningful to the family and it helped me to come to my own resolution of the loss of this fine man, who had accepted me into the family, despite cultural admonitions....and had made me feel so warmly welcome in his home.

In Japanese culture, there is an expression that is often spoken as an individual grace before meals...."ITA DAKI MAS". It is not a prayer in the traditional sense...it is not directed to a diety.....however it is said in the attitude of prayer....head bowed, eyes closed and often hands in a praying position with the hashi (chop sticks) resting in the nest made by the thumbs and first finger

. It is as common as please and "thank you"
are in polite western society. Although just a short phrase...it expresses a large concept.....the inter-connectedness of all things. It acknowledges that we are receipt of the gifts and sacrifices and beneficiaries of the hospitality of a long chain of others.....from the farm through all the workers who labor to bring it to us...and including our host.

Like I said, this is used so frequently it is almost a throw-away phrase, and a host or hostess will quickly smile and say, "Dozo" or go right ahead...help yourself. But for me that Appreciative Awareness of the Gifts we Are About to Receive, is an important lesson and one I pass on to you.....I invite you to join with me in acknowledging our many blessings and our dependance on those seen and unseen who contribute to the present moment.

"ITA DAKI MAS"

We are all connected and we are in receipt of blessings from those we will never know or have a chance to thank.

In conclusion....this was a vacation....and we had a wonderful time and we do have photographs and souvenirs and stories to tell. We also have some Japanese cookies and cold "ocha" (green tea) to share with you after the service.