The Fire Under Me
Posted 07-28-2010 at 02:16 PM by EmmyNoether
Monday night, I got the most curious email from my adviser. It said: "When do you want to meet? We need to discuss how things are going and where you want to be in the near future. What jobs are you thinking of and how can we get you best prepared for those?" It was like my adviser just woke up Monday evening and decided... "wait, I just realized that I should be advising her." I didn't know how to say "I'm refusing to think about jobs in the near future until I know that I'm going to be graduating because my research is working out." So, I rambled about my calculation needing to be finished and then set up a meeting later in the week.
We met today and I have to say the meeting was very strange and resolved leaving me depressed and stressed. The first thing he said to me was that even though I had to pay for my expenses, the math department would still hire me as an instructor up to year 6, but that was probably going to be it. So, in short, this is it, it is MY responsibility to get what needs done done in the next 9-12 months. I really wanted to reply something to the effect of, well, if we didn't change my project 4 times maybe we wouldn't be at this juncture. I did reply, "I know! and I'm working." To which he said: "Yeah, I know you are."
Anyway, immediately after his rendition of putting the fire under me, he then estimated that the work I've done counts for roughly somewhere between 1/3 to 1/2 of my dissertation. Then he mumbled something about what maybe would constitute the remaining work to be done, a further extension and the reason why this is beneficial research. As we discussed the why, we brainstormed into the realm of 4+ dimensions - which is really the only place where an example, or application would be nontrivial. Then, all of the sudden, he pulls out a possible application into knot theory. Now, I know I haven't gone much into my research, and it is a form of algebraic topology, however, hopefully just by me writing the words knot THEORY you would grasp that this is a different field of mathematics than the one in which I am. So, where did that 'you have one year left' notion go? Or, am I supposed to learn this area along with attempting greatness in the next year?
Truth be told, and I haven't alluded to this in case this direction turns out to be yet another one of his wild-goose chases, my undergraduate thesis was in an area of knot theory. That said, what he wants me to look at isn't at all related to what I did, but at least I have a flavor for that area of mathematics and if I need to go into it, it won't be starting from scratch. Either way, he's off on vacation next week and I'm off on a hunt to find meaning in my work.
We met today and I have to say the meeting was very strange and resolved leaving me depressed and stressed. The first thing he said to me was that even though I had to pay for my expenses, the math department would still hire me as an instructor up to year 6, but that was probably going to be it. So, in short, this is it, it is MY responsibility to get what needs done done in the next 9-12 months. I really wanted to reply something to the effect of, well, if we didn't change my project 4 times maybe we wouldn't be at this juncture. I did reply, "I know! and I'm working." To which he said: "Yeah, I know you are."
Anyway, immediately after his rendition of putting the fire under me, he then estimated that the work I've done counts for roughly somewhere between 1/3 to 1/2 of my dissertation. Then he mumbled something about what maybe would constitute the remaining work to be done, a further extension and the reason why this is beneficial research. As we discussed the why, we brainstormed into the realm of 4+ dimensions - which is really the only place where an example, or application would be nontrivial. Then, all of the sudden, he pulls out a possible application into knot theory. Now, I know I haven't gone much into my research, and it is a form of algebraic topology, however, hopefully just by me writing the words knot THEORY you would grasp that this is a different field of mathematics than the one in which I am. So, where did that 'you have one year left' notion go? Or, am I supposed to learn this area along with attempting greatness in the next year?
Truth be told, and I haven't alluded to this in case this direction turns out to be yet another one of his wild-goose chases, my undergraduate thesis was in an area of knot theory. That said, what he wants me to look at isn't at all related to what I did, but at least I have a flavor for that area of mathematics and if I need to go into it, it won't be starting from scratch. Either way, he's off on vacation next week and I'm off on a hunt to find meaning in my work.
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