To help or not to help
Posted 06-20-2010 at 10:51 AM by EmmyNoether
The tick bites have been itching less and less each day - this is quite a relief. So far, there hasn't been anything on the home/work front that seems remarkable enough to write about. My adviser is still in London for another week. I'm still doing page long calculations and plan to use tomorrow to write them up in another file that I will send to my adviser, knowing full-well that he's not going to read it (at least it is out there). There was, however, a very interesting character who landed on my doorstep recently.
Yesterday morning, an older woman knocked on my door asking to use the phone. Because of my large, intimidating dog, she was content to do so sitting outside on my porch. For 40 minutes, she sat out there talking to "her bank." I am a complete softy when it comes to people appearing in need, so I just allowed it. All I can do is pray that when we get our phone statement it wasn't someone making calls to central Africa, or something. At one point, she asked if she could have something cool to drink so that she could take her medicine. "NOT DIET," she practically demanded. I went inside and got her a bottle of water, which she accepted, but only after asking "You don't got no soda? No sweet tea?" I honestly stated "no." I had soda, just not of the no-diet variety. She continued to make her phone calls. As she returned the phone, she asked if I had any snacks. Thinking that rice-cakes would not impress her, I just stated no. At this point, I hadn't conceived of anymore interaction except maybe a thank you, but that was not the case.
She returned today to "follow up with the bank." Again, I'm a total softy, so I said... "You used our phone yesterday! ...alright." This time she only stayed out there for about 20 minutes... She also practically demanded water when she said, "nothing cold for me today?" I gave it to her anyway. Then, she asked me to call a number and ask a woman named Patricia if she would bring her (Queen) over dinner later. Being in a goofy mood today, I did so... and ended up handing the phone over for another 5 minutes or so. At this point, I really have to believe that my interactions with her are done.
I don't get strangers who ask you for help and then expect you to continuously help them. I definitely don't get those who ask you for help and then turn demanding for things: soda, snacks, you to call, etc. I'm completely incapable of turning people down in times of need, but dealing with someone like Queen makes me think that maybe I should toughen up about that sort of thing and just stop helping people. It's sad really. Far too often people aren't kind enough to do anything for anyone else - and sometimes it can make all the difference. For example, the wonderful older couple that drove us back to the car last week. If they hadn't been so nice, then there is a good chance my dog might have died at that point. This is why I'm driving their towel out to them today with cheese and crackers and a thank you note. Not that kindness should be motivated by getting thanks, but do I think I'll ever get appreciation from Queen? No. I think one divider of people are those that expect people to help and those that don't expect help and therefore appreciate it when it comes.
Yesterday morning, an older woman knocked on my door asking to use the phone. Because of my large, intimidating dog, she was content to do so sitting outside on my porch. For 40 minutes, she sat out there talking to "her bank." I am a complete softy when it comes to people appearing in need, so I just allowed it. All I can do is pray that when we get our phone statement it wasn't someone making calls to central Africa, or something. At one point, she asked if she could have something cool to drink so that she could take her medicine. "NOT DIET," she practically demanded. I went inside and got her a bottle of water, which she accepted, but only after asking "You don't got no soda? No sweet tea?" I honestly stated "no." I had soda, just not of the no-diet variety. She continued to make her phone calls. As she returned the phone, she asked if I had any snacks. Thinking that rice-cakes would not impress her, I just stated no. At this point, I hadn't conceived of anymore interaction except maybe a thank you, but that was not the case.
She returned today to "follow up with the bank." Again, I'm a total softy, so I said... "You used our phone yesterday! ...alright." This time she only stayed out there for about 20 minutes... She also practically demanded water when she said, "nothing cold for me today?" I gave it to her anyway. Then, she asked me to call a number and ask a woman named Patricia if she would bring her (Queen) over dinner later. Being in a goofy mood today, I did so... and ended up handing the phone over for another 5 minutes or so. At this point, I really have to believe that my interactions with her are done.
I don't get strangers who ask you for help and then expect you to continuously help them. I definitely don't get those who ask you for help and then turn demanding for things: soda, snacks, you to call, etc. I'm completely incapable of turning people down in times of need, but dealing with someone like Queen makes me think that maybe I should toughen up about that sort of thing and just stop helping people. It's sad really. Far too often people aren't kind enough to do anything for anyone else - and sometimes it can make all the difference. For example, the wonderful older couple that drove us back to the car last week. If they hadn't been so nice, then there is a good chance my dog might have died at that point. This is why I'm driving their towel out to them today with cheese and crackers and a thank you note. Not that kindness should be motivated by getting thanks, but do I think I'll ever get appreciation from Queen? No. I think one divider of people are those that expect people to help and those that don't expect help and therefore appreciate it when it comes.
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