An Update

Yesterday and today were a complete waste. After not sleeping much Monday night, I spent the majority of Tuesday in an exhausted haze. Plus, the dog hadn't improved, so after taking care of a couple of things, I brought her back to the vet, for 3 hours. A different vet saw her and noticed that she wheezed while breathing. How the other vet missed this, I don't know. So, she ordered chest x-rays, which scared the **** out of my dog (literally and figuratively). We only got one x-ray, and the vet could see that my dog's heart was significantly increased - an after affect of her having heart worms when I first got her. So, we started the dog on heart meds, and I am happy to report that some time yesterday evening, she began to perk up.

I still couldn't sleep very well last night and today was even more out of shape than yesterday. As much as I would have really enjoyed getting one step further in my research (I actually miss doing work!), all I could muster up the energy for was to re-read the materials that I wrote up for my adviser and re-affirm the process I figured out. Hopefully this will put me in good standing to kick off some good math tomorrow.

I'll admit that with my adviser out of town for the next week and a half, the craziness my life has been recently, the stress and fear of losing my dog who has been a staple and the one consistently good thing in my life for the last 5 years, and the fact that I haven't exactly been sleeping, it makes it easy for me to feel unmotivated. I feel like I'm letting myself down, but I am trying to remind myself that I am just a person who is doing her best. Then again, people deal with life's stresses all the time and I recognize that I should just suck it up. But, without being held accountable to anyone but myself, some times I slip and slide. As I have probably mentioned, this is one of the harder parts of graduate school.