Yes, another lapse

I didn't even attempt to post to my blog. After spending the morning running and working, I spent the afternoon getting ready for a wedding. The wedding itself was absolutely wonderful with so much love in the room. My mom very much enjoyed being part of it and proceeded to talk about future wedding plans for me. I'm not engaged and have no intention of getting married any time soon, so I don't know why we're discussing it at this juncture.

Today, I was exhausted. After the wedding, I had my very much needed meltdown and burst into tears and could not stop the tears. I sound like a complete ninny and fully recognize that. Something about PMS, being female and the way I handle stress is sometimes not very helpful. This is yet another difference between men and women in mathematics, or really any work place. I am actually quite embarrassed by this fact.

That's one of the unexpected benefits of this blog. I have vowed to be honest, which I will do. And, in the process, I see a way to re-evaluate myself and my actions/defense mechanisms. So, hopefully as I work on my defense I will not just become a better mathematician but a better person, with improved ways of dealing with stress.