Fixing Things

Instead of Math, yesterday I fixed some things in my life. I finally made some decisions that have been weighing on my mind and keeping me from progressing my research. I decided that for my traffic violation, I would absolutely need to hire a lawyer. In addition, I planned my first ever non-family vacation! Here's a bit about me - I am an only child. This means every chance I get a 'break' from grad school, I go home to spend time with my parents. As most people know from experience, trips home as a young/middle-twenties adult can be more stress than relaxation. In addition, although I've taken time off, grad school does not give you a true chance for R and R.

When you aren't working, you feel bad about not working because you do not have finals or a bunch of assignments with deadlines - you have your dissertation, and there isn't necessarily a end-point. What is unique to math (as a science) is that when you aren't at your desk, you can still technically be working. Mathematicians often times do not need any kind of machinery or chemicals, just pen and paper. This is why most math papers are really an amalgamation of many cocktail napkins and most math people have pen stains at the bottom of every pocket. Sitting at a bar, you can come up with an idea, you jot it down on a square napkin with your trusty pen and a couple days later, you finalize the details. That is the best case. Sometimes, however, you jot something down and a couple days later find yourself reading it over wondering how many cocktails you had by that point and how the square root of jesus is the solution to your problems.

That said, I booked a one week vacation that I hope can be a good respite from the stress and intensity of every day doing math and focusing on the same problem. The ultimate goal would be for me to relax and rejuvenate so that when I return, I can come back full force and kick butt. The amount of things that need to be accomplished this year, dissertation writing, defense presentation creation, job searching, etc, almost demands me to take a little respite to collect myself before the big push to the finale. Most doctors recommend taking a little time away and building fun into life as a key part to maintaining a good defense against stress. So, since I am not a doctor, yet, I'll follow their wise suggestion.