My Daily Life and Thoughts while in San Diego |
List of Best Posts
This blog is where I express myself to the world or at least to those who might stop by to read what I post 
. Maybe God will use what I post (I am a Christian and this blog will have a most decidedly Christian bent to it) to good effect in the lives of my readers.
I may turn some of my posts into a book. I may cease blogging here altogether. Who knows. But for now..I am content to post away in this, my own little corner of the world.
Rather than reading through my now lengthy list of posts you may wish to read what I consider to be my very best posts or you can just read the posts that deal with a single subject category that might interest you.
Please know that I am open to any input on any topic I write about. If you have something to say about anything you see written here please....feel free to speak up in the form of leaving a comment or sending me a PM (private message).
And if you are in San Diego and wish to meet the one and only Carlos (that's me)...drop me a private message. I always enjoy meeting one of my readers!
Thanks.
Carlos
PS. If you want to follow my blog such that you will get an email when I write new posts you can subscribe to my blog.
. Maybe God will use what I post (I am a Christian and this blog will have a most decidedly Christian bent to it) to good effect in the lives of my readers. I may turn some of my posts into a book. I may cease blogging here altogether. Who knows. But for now..I am content to post away in this, my own little corner of the world.
Rather than reading through my now lengthy list of posts you may wish to read what I consider to be my very best posts or you can just read the posts that deal with a single subject category that might interest you.
Please know that I am open to any input on any topic I write about. If you have something to say about anything you see written here please....feel free to speak up in the form of leaving a comment or sending me a PM (private message).
And if you are in San Diego and wish to meet the one and only Carlos (that's me
)...drop me a private message. I always enjoy meeting one of my readers!Thanks.
Carlos
PS. If you want to follow my blog such that you will get an email when I write new posts you can subscribe to my blog.
Dreams and food and fellowship...my growing church involvement!
Posted 02-12-2010 at 01:15 PM by carlos123
This is more of a personal blog post detailing some of the ways in which the Lord has orchestrated circumstances to perhaps once again turn my life upside down with respect to it changing within a very short period of time.
Here are some of those circumstances....
1. Tuesday, Feb 2nd, I have a dream which I previously blogged about through which the Lord reminds me that the woman moving into the room next door to mine might be in need of some Christian love.
2. As a direct result of that dream to me I am motivated to initiate to help this woman out when she moves in the next day. I spend several hours helping her, along with others, to move boxes in and otherwise get situated.
3. During the move in I get a chance to meet and talk with the Christians helping her out and the conversation with them is very good. My strong lack of desire to have anything to do with churchy folks is softened somewhat.
4. On Feb 4rth...a Thursday I run out of food entirely. I have no clue how the Lord is going to provide for me. There is absolutely nothing on the horizon. No job. No money. No transportation. No hope (from a wordly perspective) but in Him I continue to trust after some struggle of faith. A short while later the lady that has moved in invites me to attend a home group with her where their will be food (she knows absolutely not one thing about my need for food...presumably she mentions food in passing as a reason for a typical new person like me to attend). I of course say yes...while jumping for joy inside at the prospect for food.
5. I go and meet with the home group and encounter a delicious roast beef and potatoes meal followed by expensive cheesecake (after all I live in one of the most expensive places in the San Diego area LOL). The wall in my heart against church folks begins to topple a bit more.
6. I receive money in the mail from a good friend of mine who now lives in another city to renew my Skype subscription so that me and him can continue to read the Bible over the phone together (this will tie into things with respect to Bible studies later).
7. On Sunday I go to the Sunday church service with the lady who has moved in (I will call her Ann from now on...not her real name).
8. The service, while very good, is nothing special by itself. Better than most. The people are real friendly. There is apparent freedom to worship at will as one pleases without all needing to stand or sit as if on queu at the same time. All well and nice but again not the kind of thing I am into (i.e. sitting and listening to yet one more sermon without having any chance at all to exercise any of my gifts for the edification of those around me).
9. After the service, a fellow Christian, interacts with me in the foyer and we end up talking for an hour. God moves mightily through our conversation in that just the right things are said by him and by me both culminating in a powerful experience of having my eyes opened to a stronghold in my life that I need to repent from. Namely the belief that I don't or can't fit into the Body. That's a lie! I repent and start bawling like a baby. More importantly I experience release from that lie and feel loved and accepted.
10. Oh I forgot to mention that one of the Christians who helped Ann move in on Thursday has invited me to a Super Bowl game party. Not to church but rather to a get together at her families house. That is significant. Instead of the oh so typical "Won't you come to church?" baloney where I never see the Christians except on Sunday I am invited to someone's home for a Super Bowl party. How truly spiritual can that be?! Lots!
11. I go to the party and get a ride from Ann. The party is wonderful. Great food. Great fun. Great fellowship. More loving acceptance of me. I get a chance to share more fully after most people have left and feel still more love and acceptance. No walls that would cause me to back away from the Christians have come up.
12. On the way home from the party I am reminded by Ann of my desire to stop behind Ralph's to see if they have some free food out (they put food out back for the homeless people and others once in a while). I sense the Lord telling me that there will be food and boy, oh boy was there ever! We load up on food galore. Cakes, and bread, and pastries, and more cakes and bread. My food for the coming week. It's like the Lord is showing me how he used my need for food initially to get me to come around and be with the Christians again and now that I have done so...there is no need to use my need anymore in that regard...and the way has opened up for him to just provide me with food galore.
13. I make connection with the men's group leader and meet on Tuesday (Feb 9th). We have an absolutely wonderful time of fellowship. Afterwards we join some other Christians who are meeting for an informal worship time at the church. I feel completely comfortable around these Christians. I raise my hands in worship to God and walk around freely praying. I feel completely loved and accepted. No need to pretend or put on a front of any kind. I can be myself and more importantly I sense the Lord directing me to where I am.
14. The next day (on Wednesday Feb 10) I get with the men's group and have another wonderful time of fellowship. I initiate to find out if anyone knows anyone interested in reading the Bible together as I have been doing over the phone with my good friend but, in person. A man there immediately shows interest and we make arrangements to connect.
15. I go to the home group meeting (last night Thursday Feb 11) again and while I get bored to death by the video being watched (I actually close my eyes and start falling asleep several times...it was really that boring to me and I was tired and experiencing after eating sleepiness), the Lord powerfully works through those at the meeting before and afterwards to direct our meeting and speak to our hearts. I again initiate to find out if anyone is interested in reading the Bible and again am met with enthusiastic interest by the home group leader.
16. Last night at 5:00 AM I have another dream and wake up. In that dream I am huddled with other men with our heads bowed as one might see on a football team. But there is no discernable quarterback and we are not just with heads bowed but also talking among one another as equals. I feel a sense of belonging. Of being one of the team. Of all of us playing an important part in whatever game we are playing. I wake up and the Lord prompts me to get up out of bed (instead of going to sleep) to write my dream down. Which I do.
This next week I will be getting with the Associate Pastor to lay out the things that are on my heart to him and get his input on where I might be able to fit in to the local Body of which he is a leader.
It remains to be seen what if anything happens with all this but so far the unmistakable hand of my God is upon all this. As clear as daylight to me. He is leading me and working with me and orchestrating the circumstances that have led me to get involved with...well...church folks LOL. Weird though not surprising from a spiritual standpoint.
Mind you...the problems with church folks are probably still present in this church. I undoubtedly will bump into problems.
But for now I am moving forward to read the Bible with others and the Lord is blessing that initiative. Whatever happens with respect to actual and continuing involvement in this church I can at least initiate to read the Bible to do that with the Christians. I don't need anyone's permission to do that.
Who knows where the Lord will take that. His view on what Church should be is right there in black and white in the same book that all Christians claim to follow. What He does with my Bible reading with others is up to Him. My job is simply to share and be a part of re-discovering what He says to do, with others. That's it. The rest is up to Him.
Oh...and today I have a job interview for a computer contract. If it pans out I will have more than enough money to eat and otherwise not walk around with so little money.
Many such "jobs" have fallen through in the past but I am hopeful that this one will be different. It is from an individual who has been using offshore programmers for years but who is now wanting to shift to working with local, San Diego based, programmers.
Anyway I wanted to post and record the main steps that have led me to get re-involved with the Christians in what I previously would have considered to be a typical Sunday going church full of religious baloney. But this particular church, though a typical Sunday church on the surface, is turning out to be anything but typical for me with no baloney in sight.
A most wondrous thing indeed. And to have my involvement at this church be accompanied by dreams and other divine leading is quite interesting from the standpoint that the Lord seems to be trying to give me reassurance that this involvement is His will for me at this point in time.
I do sense that He has been preparing my heart all this time and putting me through what I have gone through in the last year for a reason. A reason which remains to be seen but one which will ultimately result in His receiving greater honor and glory through my life.
Carlos
Here are some of those circumstances....
1. Tuesday, Feb 2nd, I have a dream which I previously blogged about through which the Lord reminds me that the woman moving into the room next door to mine might be in need of some Christian love.
2. As a direct result of that dream to me I am motivated to initiate to help this woman out when she moves in the next day. I spend several hours helping her, along with others, to move boxes in and otherwise get situated.
3. During the move in I get a chance to meet and talk with the Christians helping her out and the conversation with them is very good. My strong lack of desire to have anything to do with churchy folks is softened somewhat.
4. On Feb 4rth...a Thursday I run out of food entirely. I have no clue how the Lord is going to provide for me. There is absolutely nothing on the horizon. No job. No money. No transportation. No hope (from a wordly perspective) but in Him I continue to trust after some struggle of faith. A short while later the lady that has moved in invites me to attend a home group with her where their will be food (she knows absolutely not one thing about my need for food...presumably she mentions food in passing as a reason for a typical new person like me to attend). I of course say yes...while jumping for joy inside at the prospect for food.
5. I go and meet with the home group and encounter a delicious roast beef and potatoes meal followed by expensive cheesecake (after all I live in one of the most expensive places in the San Diego area LOL). The wall in my heart against church folks begins to topple a bit more.
6. I receive money in the mail from a good friend of mine who now lives in another city to renew my Skype subscription so that me and him can continue to read the Bible over the phone together (this will tie into things with respect to Bible studies later).
7. On Sunday I go to the Sunday church service with the lady who has moved in (I will call her Ann from now on...not her real name).
8. The service, while very good, is nothing special by itself. Better than most. The people are real friendly. There is apparent freedom to worship at will as one pleases without all needing to stand or sit as if on queu at the same time. All well and nice but again not the kind of thing I am into (i.e. sitting and listening to yet one more sermon without having any chance at all to exercise any of my gifts for the edification of those around me).
9. After the service, a fellow Christian, interacts with me in the foyer and we end up talking for an hour. God moves mightily through our conversation in that just the right things are said by him and by me both culminating in a powerful experience of having my eyes opened to a stronghold in my life that I need to repent from. Namely the belief that I don't or can't fit into the Body. That's a lie! I repent and start bawling like a baby. More importantly I experience release from that lie and feel loved and accepted.
10. Oh I forgot to mention that one of the Christians who helped Ann move in on Thursday has invited me to a Super Bowl game party. Not to church but rather to a get together at her families house. That is significant. Instead of the oh so typical "Won't you come to church?" baloney where I never see the Christians except on Sunday I am invited to someone's home for a Super Bowl party. How truly spiritual can that be?! Lots!
11. I go to the party and get a ride from Ann. The party is wonderful. Great food. Great fun. Great fellowship. More loving acceptance of me. I get a chance to share more fully after most people have left and feel still more love and acceptance. No walls that would cause me to back away from the Christians have come up.
12. On the way home from the party I am reminded by Ann of my desire to stop behind Ralph's to see if they have some free food out (they put food out back for the homeless people and others once in a while). I sense the Lord telling me that there will be food and boy, oh boy was there ever! We load up on food galore. Cakes, and bread, and pastries, and more cakes and bread. My food for the coming week. It's like the Lord is showing me how he used my need for food initially to get me to come around and be with the Christians again and now that I have done so...there is no need to use my need anymore in that regard...and the way has opened up for him to just provide me with food galore.
13. I make connection with the men's group leader and meet on Tuesday (Feb 9th). We have an absolutely wonderful time of fellowship. Afterwards we join some other Christians who are meeting for an informal worship time at the church. I feel completely comfortable around these Christians. I raise my hands in worship to God and walk around freely praying. I feel completely loved and accepted. No need to pretend or put on a front of any kind. I can be myself and more importantly I sense the Lord directing me to where I am.
14. The next day (on Wednesday Feb 10) I get with the men's group and have another wonderful time of fellowship. I initiate to find out if anyone knows anyone interested in reading the Bible together as I have been doing over the phone with my good friend but, in person. A man there immediately shows interest and we make arrangements to connect.
15. I go to the home group meeting (last night Thursday Feb 11) again and while I get bored to death by the video being watched (I actually close my eyes and start falling asleep several times...it was really that boring to me and I was tired and experiencing after eating sleepiness), the Lord powerfully works through those at the meeting before and afterwards to direct our meeting and speak to our hearts. I again initiate to find out if anyone is interested in reading the Bible and again am met with enthusiastic interest by the home group leader.
16. Last night at 5:00 AM I have another dream and wake up. In that dream I am huddled with other men with our heads bowed as one might see on a football team. But there is no discernable quarterback and we are not just with heads bowed but also talking among one another as equals. I feel a sense of belonging. Of being one of the team. Of all of us playing an important part in whatever game we are playing. I wake up and the Lord prompts me to get up out of bed (instead of going to sleep) to write my dream down. Which I do.
This next week I will be getting with the Associate Pastor to lay out the things that are on my heart to him and get his input on where I might be able to fit in to the local Body of which he is a leader.
It remains to be seen what if anything happens with all this but so far the unmistakable hand of my God is upon all this. As clear as daylight to me. He is leading me and working with me and orchestrating the circumstances that have led me to get involved with...well...church folks LOL. Weird though not surprising from a spiritual standpoint.
Mind you...the problems with church folks are probably still present in this church. I undoubtedly will bump into problems.
But for now I am moving forward to read the Bible with others and the Lord is blessing that initiative. Whatever happens with respect to actual and continuing involvement in this church I can at least initiate to read the Bible to do that with the Christians. I don't need anyone's permission to do that.
Who knows where the Lord will take that. His view on what Church should be is right there in black and white in the same book that all Christians claim to follow. What He does with my Bible reading with others is up to Him. My job is simply to share and be a part of re-discovering what He says to do, with others. That's it. The rest is up to Him.
Oh...and today I have a job interview for a computer contract. If it pans out I will have more than enough money to eat and otherwise not walk around with so little money.
Many such "jobs" have fallen through in the past but I am hopeful that this one will be different. It is from an individual who has been using offshore programmers for years but who is now wanting to shift to working with local, San Diego based, programmers.
Anyway I wanted to post and record the main steps that have led me to get re-involved with the Christians in what I previously would have considered to be a typical Sunday going church full of religious baloney. But this particular church, though a typical Sunday church on the surface, is turning out to be anything but typical for me with no baloney in sight.
A most wondrous thing indeed. And to have my involvement at this church be accompanied by dreams and other divine leading is quite interesting from the standpoint that the Lord seems to be trying to give me reassurance that this involvement is His will for me at this point in time.
I do sense that He has been preparing my heart all this time and putting me through what I have gone through in the last year for a reason. A reason which remains to be seen but one which will ultimately result in His receiving greater honor and glory through my life.
Carlos
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