Am I leading myself back to God, by accident?

Is my 'weirdness' leading me back to God?'
A question I've been asking myself lately as I ponder many things...

Like my identity...and what do I want it to be?
In the past I've often expressed that I wish I could just be a genderless entity...one whom could just live, and love...without the role that having a gender places you under.
My life is not really geared for that anymore, nor are my thoughts...
I don't wake up in the morning thinking 'I want to find a woman' nor do I waking up thinking 'I want to find a man'...
Rather i wake up thinking, whom can I help today, and what kind of interesting souls will I encounter...or sour souls...

I see people in terms of their souls, or attitudes. That's what I see now...that whole male/female gender stuff has all but become irrelivant to me at this point and time. ( not that it won't again, or can't at any moment, there's nothing absolute about me, I'm in a continual state of flux)

I do know love though, when I encounter it...love and affection is what I seek after, and love and affection is what I know how to give...not in a 'gender' pro create sense...but rather in a sentiment type of way...
The same love, that a cat would feel from you, only applied to a human.

Now back to the God question of my own search leading back to God...

Angels are the only beings I know of that are 'genderless lights of wonder'...they are not defined by their gender, rather their defined by their characters...they are bright, brilliant beings who serve a bright brilliant loving creator.
They can be bright and beautiful, and not have to worry about someone calling them 'gay'...their not under those constraints...

And that's what I aspire to be like...bright and beautiful...and maybe, speaking in earthly tones, that's why I'm attracted to bright beautiful female attire....it's not the female part I'm trying to be, rather it's the bright beautiful part that I want...

But humans don't understand that...most humans arent programed to think beyond the Beavis and Butt head level...

To man, everything is either your gay or straight, male or female...everything is boxed into those categories...

But not everyone lives in that box.
Spirituality cannot be contained in a box...nor a church...church can be a box too.
I just know I find myself thinking more and more about God...but without the constraints of religon or church, which again was a box to me in the past...and so I set out on a journey...but oddly enough, it's as if I'm leading myself right back to God...

I'm not sure yet though...I mean that's where I would like to end back up, but only time will tell...
To be continued...