After not sleeping well another night, due to self-flagellation and a busy mind, I woke up with at comfort that I was going to see my adviser today. I spent the morning looking over the 15 pages of materials (3 documents, 5 pages each) to remind myself of the last 4 weeks of work that I had summarized. The latest document was finished yesterday, so at least that one was pretty fresh. After having done that, I sat and tried to take my mind off what I giant disappointment I am to myself by indulging...

I haven't written because, well, I've been dealing with my own huge disappointment in myself the last couple of days. I debated writing this entry, but as I have mentioned, my goal is to be honest - no matter how much that hurts. Saturday I went to watch the USA/Ghana match at a bar with my boyfriend and a friend. Given it was Saturday and the match finished mid-afternoon, we decided to keep drinking and get a ride home. That's when the cluster-f**k began.

Two separate men decided...

Yesterday I woke up bright-eyed and bushy tailed and excited about working on something that would make a huge dent in my thesis, if only I could get it... It seems true, just the details of the proof have been escaping me. Then, as I'm feeling on the top of the world, I held a pen in my mouth and... cracked my bottom front tooth! Really?! Can't life just stand still at the status quo of decency? Not mine, apparently!

So, I turn from being in a "on-the-up-and-up" mood...

Today was one of those days that I really wasn't sure how it would end... I began by going to the physical therapist. I go because of the chronic pain I feel in my back and neck, which I've suffered through, thinking it was just stress. Well, it probably is, but the therapist, this morning, was quite impressed by how tense I can get (I'm not even close to the worst) as she dug her elbow into my shoulder muscles in a way "to release the trigger." It hurt like nothing else, but through...

I did send my adviser the file/work I've been working on recently. Here's something very, very frustrating. I sent him that file 11 days ago and I haven't heard anything from him. I get that he has other priorities - he's in London working on a grant or grant proposal with colleagues. I get that he is balancing being an adviser, a head of a department, working with all sorts of people in all sorts of fields, trying to publish, all while being a father and husband. That said, I'm getting a little...