Palins in the Kitchen: Ladies Love Cool Jams

Sarah: Todd!!!
Todd: Yea hun?
Sarah: Fox is the best place to work EVER!
Todd: well, I'll hafta agree with you there babe
Sarah: yea! They are giving me this interview show about real Americans!
Todd: Amen, Sarah! It sounds perfect!
Sarah: And here's the best part, I don't hafta interview anyone!
Todd: what?
Sarah: yea! I know! This is going to be like when I was the...

Palins in the Kitchen: Back to the Future

Announcer: And now, here she is! Sarah Palin!!!
<crowd goes wild>
Sarah: oh yea! thank you, thank you thank you, and thank YOU!
Sarah: Oh yea, I just love being up here to talk to you about ....
<looks at hand>
Sarah: Glenn McCain!
Sarah: No, wait, gosh, what was that old guy's name?
Handler: John McCain
Sarah: who?
Handler: John McCain, remember, you were his runningmate?...

George and Bill getting off the plane:

Bill: Well George, I just can't tell you how happy I am that you are coming to Haiti with me
George: sigh ... yea, what?
Bill: Look out the window, George, just look at that devastation, these people are suffering!
George: I'm hungry
Bill: These are God's children George, they need us and our visit is going to make such a difference
George: sigh ... can I get a bag of pretzels before we land?
Bill: You...

Palins in the Kitchen: Run baby run

Sarah: Ok, now that I'm home for a few hours, let's pick my runningmate Todd!
Todd: ok, hun ... let's see ... Glenn Beck?
Sarah: Oh yea right Todd ... next
Todd: yea, I thought you'd get a chuckle out of that one. Ok, you want a great laugh ... McCain!
Sarah: <Diet Dr. Pepper flies out of her mouth>, ooooohhhhhh ... ha ha ha ... Todd, I hate it when you make me do that!
Todd: ok ok ... enough playin'...

Palins in the Kitchen: ba dum dum

Jay Leno: Ladies and gentlemen, for your comedy pleasure, I'd like to introduce a lovely lady from the great state of Alaska, Sarah Palin!
<thuderous applause>
Sarah: Oh, thank you so much! It's so great to be here in ... <looks at hand> Los Angeles!!!
<thunderous applause>
Sarah: Yea, see! I don't need a teleprompter! I've got a hand, in fact, I have TWO! I have feet too!
<thunderous applause>...