One evening, I was doing dishes, and looking out the kitchen window. From my vantage point, I was looking at the corner of the property, where a telephone pole sits, maybe 30 to 40 feet from me. I noticed a line of spider webbing that ran maybe 15 feet up the pole and came down at an angle to touch a 3 foot fence post, a few feet away.

My first thought was, "That is a long strand of spider web!" Then I questioned myself because from the distance I was standing, I shouldn't...

So where am I going now?

My daughter turns 18 next month....while she is not prepared to move out anytime soon, she is doing her own thing. We have great relationship. She has so much of her mother in her, sometimes it freaks me out a little. We have to share a vehicle right now, which blows, but we will get that worked out soon.

My son is 12, and is a lot like me. Intense, angry, frustrated at life. A few weeks ago, he was crying one night shortly after my...

This is a poem I keep on my mirror. I wrote it after my first wife passed away. It reminds me how low I've been and how I'm not this bad now.

I woke up this morning
void of all
emotion
strength
but I got out of bed
and I played the game with my kids
got them ready for daycare
and took them to school
Then I came home
and sat in the dark
I sat in the dark
and in the dark I just sat

Sometimes...

I don't want to **** and moan about every moment I feel like crap, so something positive is in order. To my surprise, I am feeling a closeness with my first wife, who died, during this separation with my current wife. Maybe because she deserved the amount of loss and pain I felt, and my current wife doesn't....I'm just wallowing in self pity over some one that doesn't even deserve it.

SO, I digress. I am confidant in time I will have another woman who I will be able to write new...

My wife left me at the end of October. She felt very stressed, that she couldn't do anything right. That life wasn't getting any easier. She had felt like this for years and accepted that she needed to make a tough decision for her and her son, and move on.

I don't blame her for making a choice to pursue a better quality of life. I think when a person gives up that desire, they become poisonous to themselves and those around them. I never imagined I could be the guy who had...