Remember that emotional roller coaster I wrote about a couple of blog posts back. Well, while grocery shopping tonight I experienced a new emotion, one I had yet to feel towards OG, anger. Like real, how dare he who the **** does he think he is anger.

Why was I angry? Because I'm still his secret. I told my husband everything because I respected OG so much my conscience couldn't keep him a secret. I have faith in my husband that he loves me enough to forgive me and work through...

The dirty thoughts are really hardcore in my head and won't GTFO today. The Other Guy (who will now be referred to as OG), his words, his voice, and his body are my kryptonite. I keep fantasizing about what I would do to him if he ever let me. I tried getting my husband to do one particular thing OG and I discussed, and OG talked about how he would relish the chance to do my bidding. My husband did it but said he found it unpleasant. My heart sank and I teared up, but we were in the shower so he...

I've noticed a huge shift in my emotions from when I was in the midst of my EA to now, after the disclosure. Before my EA I was easily stressed, my patience with my children and my husband was very short. I yelled a lot. I grew up in a home where shouting was the default conflict resolution strategy. It wasn't very effective.

But, even knowing how hurtful the yelling was, I turned into that parent without realizing it. During my affair I was so much more patient with everyone....

I had, probably am still having, an emotional affair. I am married with 3 children. I am an intelligent, outgoing, adventurous, and some say beautiful woman. I love my husband, despite what others may think about those who have emotional affairs, and I've never stopped loving him.
But I fell in to this affair of my own volition and now I am suffering the consequences.

I read online at a emotional affair recovery site, that writing down my feelings can help speed up the...