Life’s not fair. Everyone knows that, I’m not an idiot and also know this. But does that mean it Has to be completely unfair for some in every aspect for extremely long intervals or even forever for some. I am not someone that has been on fairly tortured my entire life. I have zero thoughts That even come close to that and haven’t since I got through the teenage years I believe. But when it comes to love, 100% of me feels it’s all been unfair. And that it’s not gonna change because...

So its obvious that my life is not going to get better. Why? BECAUSE OF ME! Because I cannot seem to stick up for myself. Because I continue to let people take advantage of me. That is why I have to once again take this computer back to the pawn shop instead of forcing my tenant to pay the rest of the deposit, instead of taking care of the alcoholic that once again lives off me and doesn't give a **** about me or my son, and this trickles down to affect the few loved ones I have left in this...

Damn I miss you. Constantly on my mind, but that's really nothing new. The only thing that's new is that instead of calling you and hoping you will answer and be in a good mood or telling you to call me. The only difference is that I know with 100% odds that we wont talk instead of 90%. I keep thinking about and reading some of the text you sent and seeing how it so obvious why you are less than kind to me because you really believe the things you say about me, even tho you are so off base and...

This is so hard. My heart still gets excited when I hear a call or text coming in from you. And I just want to call or text you right now. You say it often, that I am ignoring you or ask me why I am when I'm not. But now I am really trying not to pick up your call or read your texts right now because I know if I do, I'm going to hear your voice and lose it. Or even worse, you will hurt my feelings and be mean and if I text you back trying to just be casual to protect myself, I will end up crying...

Just another day like many days before. Many weeks and months before. Another day without you but all I can think of is you. With the stress of trying to get into the apt, all my bills, working my ass off at work, crowded and chaotic living with little to no sleep and allergies, missing Jc and worried about our relationship lately, but all that consumes me in the quiet moments as well as when I am trying to focus on other ****, is thoughts of you. Missing you, loving you, wanting you. I love...