It's been 9 months since he left with tears in his eyes. Last words were, " I don't want this to be over. I love you Tricia." Sporadic texts, minimal calls that quickly became almost no calls, and lead to no calls. Regardless of what I try to share with him about my life, I don't feel any interest from him in it. A few times I got a question or two on something I've shared, but follow up or letting me unload my feelings with what is going on doesn't happen. I ask for updates on what...

Unbelievable. First my bday and now my son's. I've had to wake up with eyes so swollen I can barely open them. I don't know why I keep letting this happen, except I love you and don't know how to stop loving you. I don't know how to force myself to quit. I don't know why you refuse to listen to the truth, and only listen to what you have said is the truth before you even ask about it. You were so drunk and high that you couldn't park the car or stop yelling. I know you don't remember, but...

Here starts another day with you on my mind right away. Nowhere to be found in my day, but on my mind. Just another day to miss you and know in my heart that I am always going to miss you. I can't honestly say when the last we touched was. No kissing, no sex, not even seeing each other because I quit being the one to always go to you and that was the only way I got to see you because you don't want to sleep anywhere else or be uncomfortable. All I did the last year when we were together was...

Not many people and probably say at any point in their life beyond childhood at least, that they have not sworn off ever-loving again or ever whatever or whoever their current heartbreak is. And like you said to me many times there are no unique thoughts or ideas anymore after all these years and years old humans living. I didn't think that I was the unique one that was not going to ever be in love or trust someone again but I don't remember ever swearing off of any of that, just after so long I...

I just keep thinking that things can only get better and it just keep singing that somehow no matter what I think I'm going to do or how things are looking up, that things just keep getting harder and harder. Then often in hindsight I can see where I have screwed up or self-sabotage without realizing, and we'll look back at things and remember got my Intuition or whatever you want to call it had been right and I made the wrong or hopeful toys. I still can't seem to catch up at all on what I was...