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Did i wait to long to make a move, should i talk with her, should i persue her a bit more because my effort so far has been low key as not to push to far.
To the bolded: not if she's still agreeing to spend time with you. If she becomes distant and gives you excuses as to why she can't see you anymore, or cancels on you, then you've waited too long. Don't let it happen to you.
Yes, you should talk with her. OR (*lightbulb*) you could let flowers do the talking. After 7 non-dates and 3 dinners, flowers would be appropriate. Then you wouldn't actually HAVE to confess your feelings, but it would be the natural thing to do. (hint)
She's probably had enough of "low key", at this point. You have our permission to escalate to moderate-key.
Don't do anything wild or brash at this point, though.
I have been hanging out with this woman for awhile now but our getting together hasnt been called an official date by either one of us. We have been out together 10 or more times on a fairly regular basis, she has also had me over for dinner 3 times. There has been no flirting or physical contact so far from either of us or signs she wants me to make a move on her. Im beginning to have feelings for this woman and dont know how to proceed. Did i wait to long to make a move, should i talk with her, should i persue her a bit more because my effort so far has been low key as not to push to far.
10 dates is 10 meetings so you don't know her well at all. You don't know her well enough to even be friends to advance further. You will know when it's time. No one ever looses anyone by waiting too long
I am old and so are my friends but I sort of have a similar example. One of my friends was widowed a few years back and is looking for a relationship again. There's a guy that goes to our dances, he's long divorced, and so he started asking her to dance. And they've been together other times, lunch with friends or whatever. She started to have feelings for him, but she said he hasn't even kissed her other than a quick peck. Well, it's now been almost a year. She's met his family. They've actually gone out of town together and stayed in the same room. I asked her why she doesn't talk to him about her feelings or just jump his bones or whatever. I mean...he's a guy! At this point, she said she's afraid if she rocks the boat, she might lose him. So maybe your friend is feeling that way about you?
I have been hanging out with this woman for awhile now but our getting together hasnt been called an official date by either one of us.
I don’t think people spell out ‘hey it’s a date, you were pre warned! Expect behaviors!”
Once I saw an awkward interaction between coworkers where a lady says “oh yeah that movie, do you want to see it? Guy goes “of course! Wow it’s not every day a hot woman asks me on a date!” She goes, “well I didn’t say it was a date”. He goes “It is a date, then see you on Sat.”
I guess if someone said “do you want to go on a date sometime”, you’d figure out to reply intentionally but nobody was ever that frank. They’d say want to see this movie playing across town? It got a bit confusing because I didn’t realize in my youth what anybody intended because half the time my intention was just to see the movie because why not?
So, the fact they didn't use date means nothing, might mean they want to know you before deciding to date you. Sometimes they don’t know yet, it’s not always all physical, or the physical attraction could be mild and other factors can strengthen or detract.
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We have been out together 10 or more times on a fairly regular basis, she has also had me over for dinner 3 times.
So it’s a good sign you enjoy each other’s company. Maybe she decided she’s liking you as friend, perhaps more.
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There has been no flirting or physical contact so far from either of us or signs she wants me to make a move on her. Im beginning to have feelings for this woman and dont know how to proceed.
Tell her this. I think it better verbalizing vs making moves because the moves thing leads to some women feeling they are being mean rebuffing someone and or confused what to do. Nothing wrong about verbalizing it. It is direct and much better than reading cues. No ambiguity is good.
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Did i wait to long to make a move, should i talk with her, should i persue her a bit more because my effort so far has been low key as not to push to far.
Talk to her. If she likes you genuinely, why would it go poof?
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But there hasn’t been any signs she feels the same like I said she doesn’t flirt or try to touch me. Wouldn’t she do that if she liked me.
Maybe she’s shy like you.
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Originally Posted by Loganpdrc
So have I blown my chance with her yet or no. Yes I realize I am late on making a move
I genuinely think some are slow in this and it’s not bad necessarily. Waiting too long might be bad but imo making a move too soon doesn’t work. If I hardly know a person, it almost feels inappropriate.
Sure there are chemical attractions that happen earlier, but basing things on that somehow is meh, not a romantic thing and fizzles, not sustained really. If she likes you it cannot be dissuaded by a bit of waiting. If it’s a fragile connection maybe it’s not that strong.
I am assuming the reason you are finding yourself in this situation is that you are either young and/or don't have much dating experience.
The reason most men ask women on the formality of a date is that when a guy asks out a girl on a date you are making clear you have a romantic/sexual interest in her and if she accepts the date she too is agreeing to do things with you knowing full well that you have a romantic/sexual interest in her and generally that also means she too is acknowledging to you and to herself some level of romantic/sexual interest in you. She is also consenting to flirting and other first date behaviors.
A big part of the reason you find yourself in this situation is that you never actually asked her out on a date. Keep that in mind so you don't repeat this mistake again. As a guy there is nothing wrong with being interested in women nor in asking them out. If they aren't interested they can always say no.
As to turning this situation around, you want to make your intentions clear. So I think the advice that other offered of telling her you are interested is helpful. I think I personally would tell her that you are interested but not real great yet at dating.
Women often don't know where they stand with you. The fact this woman has had you over to the house 3 times and been out with you 10 times suggests to me she likes you a lot but she probably doesn't know where she stands with you. She is probably asking herself are we just friends, is he interested, is he gay?
By telling you are interested but not great at dating, that clarifies your intentions but it also gives her permission to help you out in those parts of the dating process where you are dropping the ball.
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Plenty of women will go on dates with men knowing fully they have no interest in them and nothing will happen between her and you.
I met her at work it’s a long story but I’ll try to condense it. Basically I started to like her but she had a bf at the time. She broke up with him (at this point in time I didn’t know they dated 3 years). I asked her out and she said yes but she ended up canceling the day before but wanted to reschedule. A week later she sends this long text saying she was still in love with the ex and didn’t want that relationship to end and she needed time before she could hang out with a guy again but we would meet up but not right away.
After that text I left it alone but a few months later we talked and she told me it was really over now and we planned another get together that ended up being canceled by me because she was saying she was trying with the ex again.
I let it go again and a couple months later another text asking me to go to the park with her on the long weekend. That meet up happened and the first day was pretty good but the next day she basically talked all about how her ex did everything wrong everything was his fault.
Even after that we have continued to meet up so it’s been since September.
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