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I forgot, I had more courage when I was young and realized someone has to make a move.
And I've definitely heard that before about it's not the 1950s, but I'm the type (which is why I've heard the comment) that doesn't even text men.
Time to take that step if that is what you want.
I'm actually the opposite in that I have more courage as I got older than I did when I was young. Also there is not the stigma/taboo attached with women being forward today like in the past.
I hope it all works out well for you.
I'm actually the opposite in that I have more courage as I got older than I did when I was young. Also there is not the stigma/taboo attached with women being forward today like in the past.
I hope it all works out well for you.
Also there is not the stigma/taboo attached with women being forward today like in the past.
From my perspective, it’s not about ‘women being forward’ (which is an antiquated notion, in and of itself). Rather, the point is social intelligence and the ability to understand norms regarding behavior or interest (relative to both sides). Considering the stated ages of the OP (and the dude), it’s surprising there seems to be a lack of such - particularly since they know each other professionally.
From my perspective, it’s not about ‘women being forward’ (which is an antiquated notion, in and of itself). Rather, the point is social intelligence and the ability to understand norms regarding behavior or interest (relative to both sides). Considering the stated ages of the OP (and the dude), it’s surprising there seems to be a lack of such - particularly since they know each other professionally.
I am aware I have some social retardation going on lol. Can you clarify what would be normal in this situation from your perspective please?
I met an older guy and we are very attracted to each other. He is 61. He had not made a move so I figured he didn't realize my age. I finally told him I'm in my 50s and he genuinely seemed surprised.
Just curious. Why do you equate ‘not making a move’ with (not knowing) your age? It’s not as if the two of you aren’t in the same ballpark.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Random10
We smile really big at each other and (it was a little much) but I caught him looking at my chest and looking me up and down when I was saying good bye. It felt like he was going to hug me or something. I told him I'll be in touch in a week or two and I plan to be (as a client). I would definitely prefer he ask me out. I don't think I've ever asked a man out in my life. Any advice would be appreciated.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Random10
I am aware I have some social retardation going on lol. Can you clarify what would be normal in this situation from your perspective please?
Relative to age as well as your professional relationship, although you don’t specifically indicate what type of business he owns in your posts, I would think verbal cues, light (off-topic) conversation and polite/witty flirting would be the indicator of attraction rather than looking ‘up and down at you’ or ‘at your chest’. That he appeared as though he were going to give you a hug is inappropriate/socially awkward as well. He should be concerned about the client relationship and carefully approach the concept of lunch/talking to get to know you better. The goal, if he is interested, is to be friendly and assess if you’re comfortable with the idea (as opposed to creeping, crossing a line or scaring you away, lol).
That said, you mentioned you’d like him to ask you out and ‘lead’, per your thread; yet, you clearly took control (and essentially shut it down) when you specifically stated you’d be in touch with him in a few weeks (relative to work). That’s not the verbiage of a woman who is open to continuing the conversation; rather, it sounds as though you’re setting boundaries i.e. ‘don’t call me, I’ll call you’ (not that anyone would blame you given the situation).
Just curious. Why do you equate ‘not making a move’ with (not knowing) your age? It’s not as if the two of you aren’t in the same ballpark.
Relative to age as well as your professional relationship, although you don’t specifically indicate what type of business he owns in your posts, I would think verbal cues, light (off-topic) conversation and polite/witty flirting would be the indicator of attraction rather than looking ‘up and down at you’ or ‘at your chest’. That he appeared as though he were going to give you a hug is inappropriate/socially awkward as well. He should be concerned about the client relationship and carefully approach the concept of lunch/talking to get to know you better. The goal, if he is interested, is to be friendly and assess if you’re comfortable with the idea (as opposed to creeping, crossing a line or scaring you away, lol).
That said, you mentioned you’d like him to ask you out and ‘lead’, per your thread; yet, you clearly took control (and essentially shut it down) when you specifically stated you’d be in touch with him in a few weeks (relative to work). That’s not the verbiage of a woman who is open to continuing the conversation; rather, it sounds as though you’re setting boundaries i.e. ‘don’t call me, I’ll call you’ (not that anyone would blame you given the situation).
People always tell me I look young for my age. Granted, people say that to everyone. I wanted to be sure he knew we were in the same age range. When I mentioned it he did legitimately seemed surprised. I feel if you're 60+ and you think a woman is in her 40s, some men wouldn't make a move with an age gap like that.
He wasn't acting like he wanted to hug me or anything, It was just the way I felt the energy between us.There is a strong pull towards each other.
As we started talking, I asked if he was available for other services, it wasn't an "I'll call you, don't call me". My idea was to move things forward, have shorter meetings more often. Not to shut him down. We spoke for awhile after that. I did leave shortly after he looked me up and down though.
I will be reaching out to set something up (business) for next week. . .
We smile really big at each other and (it was a little much) but I caught him looking at my chest and looking me up and down when I was saying good bye. It felt like he was going to hug me or something.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Random10
He wasn't acting like he wanted to hug me or anything, It was just the way I felt the energy between us.There is a strong pull towards each other.
Point being, there’s a huge difference between chemistry vs. what you describe as (demonstrably) looking you over and ‘at your chest’. Hence my previous post about social awareness, particularly relative to folks in their 50s and 60s.
From my perspective, it’s not about ‘women being forward’ (which is an antiquated notion, in and of itself). Rather, the point is social intelligence and the ability to understand norms regarding behavior or interest (relative to both sides). Considering the stated ages of the OP (and the dude), it’s surprising there seems to be a lack of such - particularly since they know each other professionally.
Oh, I agree. I'm just pointing out to the OP that today that is gone, no need for her to wait on a man if she is interested. If you are 50+ it was seen differently if a woman asked a man out.
Social awareness is important in this respect for both men and women.
People always tell me I look young for my age. Granted, people say that to everyone. I wanted to be sure he knew we were in the same age range. When I mentioned it he did legitimately seemed surprised. I feel if you're 60+ and you think a woman is in her 40s, some men wouldn't make a move with an age gap like that.
He wasn't acting like he wanted to hug me or anything, It was just the way I felt the energy between us.There is a strong pull towards each other.
As we started talking, I asked if he was available for other services, it wasn't an "I'll call you, don't call me". My idea was to move things forward, have shorter meetings more often. Not to shut him down. We spoke for awhile after that. I did leave shortly after he looked me up and down though.
I will be reaching out to set something up (business) for next week. . .
Oh, I agree. I'm just pointing out to the OP that today that is gone, no need for her to wait on a man if she is interested. If you are 50+ it was seen differently if a woman asked a man out.
I’m fifty, and I’ve been asked by women often (although I enjoyed asking when I was interested). That said, I think the ‘cutoff’ might be more in line with those who are 60+ (or more). Either way, since the OP stated the man is 61, perhaps it’s evidence he isn’t interested in her; else, by that reasoning, he’d ask her - no? However, he appears to be acting foolishly and immaturely anyway.
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