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First, let me say, when someone copies you, it is not the highest form of flattery, its identity theft...and I'm not talking about a little bit of coping, I'm talking about everything you decorate with outside.
When she first moved in, right away she came over and introduced herself and said, "I'd love to see the inside of your house" but I didn't move on it, just ignored what she said, (which I thought was very rude) then she said, I love the way you decorate, where'd you get your plant hanger and like a fool I told her, never thinking. Then she pointed out my bakers rack with all the herbs on it....and the wind chimes...oh, she said, "you should have been an interior decorater."
Well, 3 days later, she is hanging the very same one, a Victorian Black heavy duty plant hanger....she commented on how she liked my decorating ideas....so here we go....
I have a battery operated small leaf blower, which I use to blow out debris in the hallway so it isn't tracked into my home. She got one. And when she saw me using it, she said, "hmmm, thats a great idea" and she got one!
I put two stickers on the back of my car, she did the same.
In the fall I put out autumn leaf garland with lights on my railing, and she got the very same one.
I put out lanterns and she went out and bought one....
I put out a bird cage I found online, fixed and painted it and put lights in it, and she did the same.
I put out herbs on a metal bakers rack which I've done for forever, well she doesn't have room on her deck for a bakers rack so she just hung a pocket plant hanger...and put herbs in it....its almost like she's saying, "you can't have what I don't have" I mean it's literally crazy and it's always after I have put something out.
She told me, "I like your chimes hanging" which tells me she doesn't have a clue, and guess what, she hangs chimes...
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she came over and said, "I got the very same flowers that you have", which really didn't bother me.
I put lights on my door wreath, a few days later, she did the same.
I had metal side tables on which I put decorations, and guess what, she went out and bought the very same thing. And it's always after the fact....never before me...
At Christmas time, I put out two trees on either side of my door and decorated them, guess what, she did the same, but only put out one.
I put out flickering lights, well, guess what...days later she put them out....
Its really freaking me out, and creepy...if I put out garland with lights, she does the same no matter what time of year it is...she down right copies my decorations....and it's so excessive the neighbors have commented on it....
And honestly, her porch always looks nice...when she first moved in, she went out and bought very expensive material furniture, which she always has covered, she rarely uses it...????? But, her porch always looks nice, and I wouldn't mind if she didn't live across the street from me, it's a one lane street, between buildings, but it's almost like she had to outdo? Its really creeping me out, like she's watching me all the time...I see her watching through her window...
Oh, I put lights in my window at Christmas time and DIL said, I wonder how long it will take her to do the same? Guess what? Yup....and putting lights in your window is an old Pennsylvania thing from the area I'm from. Old farm houses and circa homes do it and still do it....
Now other people decorate and come up with their own ideas, which are unique, lovely and makes you happy, but this, this is excessive and stealing your ideas and identity.
I said to her once, Yanno, I'd really appreciate it in a big way if you'd stop copying my decorating ideas, and she gasped and put her hand on her heart and hung her mouth open and said, I don't do that????? LOL, she could have won an academy award.
why does she copy to this degree? Its invasive and just down right rude. I don't want what everyone else has, never did, and for her to steal my ideas I find petty and competitive and jealousy? And she knows she is doing it, b/c she does it when I go away, she'll put something out she bought, or after I close my blinds....and she even walked past my home, and stood there and looked at the new wreath I put up? I mean seriously?
Last edited by cremebrulee; Yesterday at 09:01 AM..
Is it possible that you have very similar taste, but you have a better talent for decorating than her so she just copies your ideas?
To be honest I would just laugh about it. You don't seem to have an interest in getting to know her, so I guess you wouldn't be able to see the differences.
But I can say that you two obviously have a different approach about getting to know people and it sounds to me like that is what doesn't fit. I think if someone asked her if she wanted to be friends with you she'd probably say yes and you would say no.
If you have any interest in that person you could go with her to look at decorations and tell her that you'd like to see her own taste. Obviously if she likes yours she must have similar taste and a nudge in the right direction could help her find her own personal style. Of course that would mean interacting with her, which I don't see as falling in your highest priorities to say the least
Your dislike for her from the very beginning comes through clearly. When she said, "I'd like to see the inside of your house," the response should not been to ignore that, but to say something like, "Oh, sometime when it's ready, I'd love to have you over." (Even if what you really meant was that it would never be "ready.") She was trying to be friendly, not rude, and you were deliberately being unfriendly.
I would guess the copying your decorations is a combination of genuinely admiring your style, and trying to show you (in a roundabout and awkward way) that she'd still like to be friends.
At this point I think the only thing you can do is totally ignore what she is putting out on her own property, even if it's exactly like yours, and not engage in any way. If you continue to be cold and hostile enough, she may eventually give up.
Your dislike for her from the very beginning comes through clearly. When she said, "I'd like to see the inside of your house," the response should not been to ignore that, but to say something like, "Oh, sometime when it's ready, I'd love to have you over." (Even if what you really meant was that it would never be "ready.") She was trying to be friendly, not rude, and you were deliberately being unfriendly.
I would guess the copying your decorations is a combination of genuinely admiring your style, and trying to show you (in a roundabout and awkward way) that she'd still like to be friends.
At this point I think the only thing you can do is totally ignore what she is putting out on her own property, even if it's exactly like yours, and not engage in any way. If you continue to be cold and hostile enough, she may eventually give up.
I just met the women, she was a stranger, that very moment was the first time I knew she existed, how did I know if she really lived there or not? I didn't know what to say, I was caught off guard....some might not find that rude, I did....and from what she has been doing since she moved in is rude....she has a dog that howls and she lets it out on her deck in the early morning hours, and it howls without any concern for neighbors who are still sleeping especially on weekends...the woman has no concept of others....
I've walked out with company and there she is at her window watching???? Its creepy...and an invasion of privacy....very invasive....it's like, she's saying, you are not allowed to have anything I don't have. Because right after I put something new out, she does the same thing...sometimes it's funny....I mean when a neighbor walks up to me and states, "looks like your neighbor across the street is extremely jealous, insecure or both"...you know something isn't right.
and I didn't dislike her from the beginning, I disliked the fact that she was so forward, some people are very privet people, and all she did, was direct questions at me????? Where you from? What do you do for a living, How much do you get from your pension...I mean, stop!!!!!
Is it possible that you have very similar taste, but you have a better talent for decorating than her so she just copies your ideas?
To be honest I would just laugh about it. You don't seem to have an interest in getting to know her, so I guess you wouldn't be able to see the differences.
But I can say that you two obviously have a different approach about getting to know people and it sounds to me like that is what doesn't fit. I think if someone asked her if she wanted to be friends with you she'd probably say yes and you would say no.
If you have any interest in that person you could go with her to look at decorations and tell her that you'd like to see her own taste. Obviously if she likes yours she must have similar taste and a nudge in the right direction could help her find her own personal style. Of course that would mean interacting with her, which I don't see as falling in your highest priorities to say the least
nope I do not wish to be friends, not in the least....she is invasive, wants to know way too much personal things about you and doesn't mind asking....
I believe she can't come up with her own ideas, so she steals someone else's ideas, and its way too often to not be noticeable. I bought flaming candles that you stick in the ground for a border, and what does she do, in a week she had the same thing...I mean this is constant, it never ends....and I honestly wouldn't care if she lived further away from me, but to do this to a neighbor who lives right across the street is down right creepy.
I had a boss like that...he would steal the work of others and then put his name to it....always asking people to send him their presentations...some would, most wouldn't.
He'd take a recipe off the internet and call it his...and when you said something to him, he'd get all mad and say, well I changed it so its mine, I made it up. SMH
No one liked him b/c he was such a fake....always stealing other peoples ideas. Its annoying, invasive, and stealing someone's persona. I mean she stands outside my door and looks at everything, especially if I get something new....and a few days later, boom, there it is across the street. LOL and ya gotta laugh sometime.
I don’t know why this post stood out to me so much that I remembered a really old thread you started years ago, a dozen actually. It was a hot button topic for me when I was younger, but as the years have gone by, I’ve found there’s very little we can claim as original.
You are allowing your neighbor to occupy too much of your thoughts.
Stop keeping score, and just continue doing what YOU do, no matter what SHE does.
yes, it is honestly a form of stealing someone's persona, when it's constant like this....
I'm not keeping score, actually, others have noticed her doing it as well...
One neighbor said, "You know, I've always enjoyed your ideas and they way you decorate for holidays, and look forward to it, but since that woman across the street moved in, she copies every thing you do."
No she hasn't stole my charge card numbers, or my address or phone number, I'm referring to a different kind of Identity theft. Its like she is cloning all my ideas, if that makes sense. I work hard and have always wanted to think up my own way of decorating, it keeps me busy thinking up new ideas, and I don't want what others have...and to have someone steal those ideas knocks the wind outa your sails.
It's not a casual thing, it's all the time....
I'm retired, and I'm old and somewhat handicapped, so yeah, maybe I am allowing her to take up way too much of my time. shes living in my mind rent free....lol
Last edited by cremebrulee; Yesterday at 10:44 AM..
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