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My wife and I have been trying to start a family for over a year now, to no avail.
She's been seeing a reproductive endocrinologist who recommended IUI. We've done two rounds already, both of which have failed. In our conversation via Teledoc last week, he said we now have two options before us:
- Try IUI again, this time with even more hormones
- Go the IVF route
The issue with the latter is that, as you may know, IVF is ridiculously expensive.
The fertility clinic we go to sent us a rate sheet indicating that we'd have to pay around 24k, and that doesn't include meds. So we're looking at 30kish.
Unfortunately, my wife's insurance doesn't cover infertility, but mine does -- a lifetime maximum benefit of $20,000. That means that after $20,000, I'd have to come out of pocket for about 10k. Seems like a good deal considering most insurance companies don't pay for infertility.
Here's the thing: Since infertility isn't considered a "major life event" (like divorce or actually having the child), I wouldn't be able to add my wife to my plan until Open Enrollment, which doesn't take place until November.
That means we wouldn't be able to go in for the IVF until January 2021. Given that my wife turns 35 in August (I'm already 35), time is of the essence.
I actually have enough saved up to pay for this procedure, but it would slice my emergency savings in half. Given the economic uncertainty caused by COVID-19 and the fact my company has reduced my hours to 24 from 40 (with no word yet as to when that might change), I'd rather not spend so much in one shot. My wife is a teacher, and in the summer, she only gets a deferred check (spread out over the course of the school year so she can still get paid).
I was crestfallen today to discover that fertility clinics want payment for everything UPFRONT -- all 30k -- or, you have to get a loan. We'd rather not get into debt if we can avoid it.
My wife doesn't think waiting until January will adversely affect her eggs. And, for the rest of this year, we could use the extra time to work on losing weight and saving up money.
That 20k from the insurance would certainly come in handy. It's a shame I have to wait until January to take advantage of the benefit.
Do you think we'd be making the right decision by waiting until then? Should we try another IUI this year in the meantime?
I think you should plan for IVF once you can get her onto your insurance. In the meanwhile, keep trying, and maybe throw another IUI in just to try. My wife and I went through reciprocal IVF and it’s a serious financial and physical commitment. I agree that another 6ish months should not negatively impact fertility or the chance of IVF success. Wishing you all the best!
Also, different clinics vary widely in their costs. Your insurance may have a list of approved clinics, so shop those around a bit. We ended up out of pocket for meds that weren’t covered, but pretty much everything else was.
We went to an infertility doctor years ago and I really read a lot of the research on IUI and IVF. Essentially, the studies that I read consistently showed a very low success rate with IUI for couples that have had a history of infertility. My takeaway was that it was just a waste of money, but thrown out there as an option by doctors because mentally people are not ready to make the plunge for full IVF at first. The typical history is that couples tend to do several rounds of IUI, wasting $3-5k in the process, then decide to go for IVF.
In the first meeting with the infertility doctor I told him that I read the studies on the success of IUI and thought it was a waste of time and money. I wanted to go straight to the IVF. He just responded with ok, let's do it. This was 10 years ago, so I want to say we paid $15-18k. I was happy that we didn't waste $5k and months of trying before that on IUI.
I'm not saying there are no cases of success with IUI, just that the rate is extremely low, especially if you've had a history of infertility. If IUI doesn't work the first time, the chances of it working later on are statistically even lower than that.
IVF is still nerve racking because what looks like 18 eggs in the beginning turned into 5 eggs used for the growing stage, which turned into 2 eggs that were implanted. Out of the 2, one became a successful pregnancy. It was a time-consuming and costly process, and I think we would have been devastated if it hadn't been successful after all that.
I agree with the previous posters, but I also think it depends on what the root causes of the infertility are. If there are concerns about fallopian tube blockage, egg quality, sperm motility, etc., then IUI is a waste of time and money and IVF is the way to go. If it's an issue of recurrent miscarriages, then IVF can weed out genetic issues but may not impact implantation, so that should be considered as well.
I'm on the assumption that you both went for testing first before starting IUI, were those results normal?
We tried for over a year as well and all it took was a relaxing trip to Mexico. My wife was 32
so you basically want the highest chance with the lowest costs so I would say keep having sex a few days before her ovulation and plan out the IVF next year while saving up.
Starting IVF introduces a new set of challenges, but you'll hopefully have some quality eggs that can be frozen and screened.
wasn't sure about the losing weight comment was a joke on saving money but being diabetic/overweight adds another layer of complications.
I agree with the previous posters, but I also think it depends on what the root causes of the infertility are. If there are concerns about fallopian tube blockage, egg quality, sperm motility, etc., then IUI is a waste of time and money and IVF is the way to go. If it's an issue of recurrent miscarriages, then IVF can weed out genetic issues but may not impact implantation, so that should be considered as well.
fully agree. Althought in case of egg quality, some procedures such as mesotherapy treatment wot ovaries (RPR) might be more effective than IUI
Hi,
I saw your problem and I think you should go for one more IUI.IVF has high success rate than IUI but as it is more expensive as well as chances of success are also not 100%. So you should go to a better clinic/doctor than the previous one.
If you are confused about IVF and IUI, you can clear your doubts by visiting- https://www.fertilitydost.com/articl...ils/iui-vs-ivf
yep, nowadays, there are tons of helpful sites and/or apps. A few friends of mine have been using iyoni.app to track their fertility days and understand their body. The app has been designed by top fertility specialists, so they did not need to visit their docs, and had all stats and reports without leaving their home.
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