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I'm sorry to hear that. Must be very difficult to process. Hugs to you.
Thanks...we're investigating donor egg IVF at the moment. At first I was upset that any children resulting from donor egg IVF wouldn't have my DNA...then I thought of all the things about myself that I don't like that my potential children wouldn't have to deal with; for example, my terrible eyesight, my bad teeth, my bad hair, my genetic predisposition to cellulite, my utter lack of athletic ability, and my natural tendency to obsess and worry.
I have a family member who has done donor egg IVF so I'm pumping her for info this week.
I'm sorry the news wasn't what you are hoping, but I know many moms who are completely besotted with their donor egg kids. I hope that path works out for you in the same way, if that's where things lead for you. Great that you have a family member who can be a resource for you!
We got the news a while ago that pregnancy using my own eggs is impossible, as in a 1% chance. Apparently I am far less fertile than most women in their early 40s...abnormally so.
Thanks for the encouragement nonetheless.
Sorry to hear this. I'm still rooting for you that you get your heart's desire. Sounds like you have a plan in place on how to proceed. Good luck and best wishes!
I'm sorry the news wasn't what you are hoping, but I know many moms who are completely besotted with their donor egg kids. I hope that path works out for you in the same way, if that's where things lead for you. Great that you have a family member who can be a resource for you!
I'm not worried at all about bonding with a baby from a donor egg because it would have DH's DNA. My family member who had donor egg IVF said she never even thinks about the fact that her babies aren't genetically hers; she carried them, birthed them, nursed them, etc. She has genetic kids too and she said there's no difference at all in how she feels about them.
That's very encouraging...but at the same time I am kind of over it, as in I don't really care that the kid wouldn't have my DNA. Plus, at my age, there's considerable risk in trying to use my own eggs (if I even had enough of them for IVF). The risk of abnormalities with donor egg IVF is the same as the risk for a woman in her early 20s, not a woman in her early 40s. That's actually awesome and a huge weight off my mind.
Right now the thing that is pissing me off about it is figuring out how we're going to pay for it! 85% of insurance policies do not cover infertility treatment. In Texas insurance companies are required to make it available to employer-funded plans, though pretty much none of them actually purchase the coverage.
I plan to have a clinic work with my insurance company nonetheless...and my employer is self-insured, which might change the equation though I'm not sure it would work in my favor. Probably not.
Quote:
Originally Posted by COCUE
Sorry to hear this. I'm still rooting for you that you get your heart's desire. Sounds like you have a plan in place on how to proceed. Good luck and best wishes!
No, I haven't at all! However, I recently have been having unusual body changes and a missed period. I was told I couldn't have kids, never went to a fertility specialist, and haven't taken birth control in years! Well, guess what...not 1 pregnancy test but two different versions turned almost immediately positive/pregnant the moment the urine hit the stick. I am a few months into my 40th year, my husband and I are still VERY VERY shocked...I don't even know how far along I would be! I assumed I was going through the change at first! I was really, really walking a lot trying to lose the 5 pounds I mysteriously gained since Thanksgiving, like 15,000 steps a day. I have been active, no morning sickness, nothing but a missed period, minor cramping, an intense craving for cheese all the time, and stubborn weight gain! Who would have thought??? I guess I am not building muscle afterall!
Many women in the olden days had kids after 40 due to lack of birth control but usually were having their 5th or more baby, not their first or second like these days.
I personally know 4 women that have conceived naturally after 40. Two of them were actually 42 and first time mothers. They all had healthy pregnancies and healthy babies.
My mother had pregnancies at age 40 and 44 with me and my sister. Probably risky back then (1940’s) but we’re both relatively healthy.
People I’ve known who become parents by non-traditional means (IVF, adoption, etc) feel every bit as bonded as those who give birth.
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My family member who had donor egg IVF said she never even thinks about the fact that her babies aren't genetically hers; she carried them, birthed them, nursed them, etc. She has genetic kids too and she said there's no difference at all in how she feels about them. 
85% of insurance policies do not cover infertility treatment. In Texas insurance companies are required to make it available to employer-funded plans, though pretty much none of them actually purchase the coverage.
