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You could hire a bouncer. (I'm serious.) Or you could talk to the director of the funeral home and ask for suggestions. Surely they have seen it all when it comes to these things.
Calvin, do you have control issues? Is there some reason you don't think your mother is going to be in charge of funeral arrangements for your father? What about if your Mother gets hit by a falling anvil and dies before your father - how are you planning for that?
No, no control issues. My father has already stated (in writing and notarized) how he wants the arrangements. My mother, sister and I don't want these two people there.
I don't agree with your sister. The parent should be there with the child when the other parent dies.
Now the new spouse who the parent cheated with should not be there at the ex's funeral. I almost asked her to leave, but the grandchild was around.
They were not nice people. The son was so nasty to my sister that his father told him he was not welcome in their home. He hadn't spoken to his dad in several years. The daughter kept in touch and got along with them and brought her little girl over.
A 40 year old man does not need his mommy to come and make things difficult for a woman who has just unexpectedly lost her husband. The son did not call his dad when he was diagnosed with bladder cancer but showed up at the hospital when his sister told them that their father had collapsed and been taken to the hospital. My sister is watching them trying to resuscitate her husband and the son is screaming at her for not calling him sooner, as if she was supposed to know he was going to go into cardiac arrest.
I met this guy once, at his grandfather's wake, and he was rude and nasty to ME.
My BIL's ex-wife is a lawyer who kept making things difficult for her ex financially years after she divorced him and their children were adults. She can support her kids emotionally on her own time, not show up at a funeral to make a scene and cause drama for the person who actually loved the deceased.
Anyway, the point was that the funeral home will honor the wishes of next of kin (or maybe whoever is paying the bill) and keep out undesirables.
You could hire a bouncer. (I'm serious.) Or you could talk to the director of the funeral home and ask for suggestions. Surely they have seen it all when it comes to these things.
They have! A coworker worked at a funeral home while he was in college. He was a greeter or whatever you call the people who meet you at the door. He saw physical fights break out, women throwing themselves into caskets. Good stories.
You could hire a bouncer. (I'm serious.) Or you could talk to the director of the funeral home and ask for suggestions. Surely they have seen it all when it comes to these things.
I agree with threestep that this is the post of the day. Perfect solution to this possible problem.
In that situation I would be looking to do the same thing, making sure losers like the ones mentioned are not there. They are not honoring your father, they are actually disrespecting him on a sad day that is meant to say goodbye.
I'm a little more of a confrontation type of guy and would tell them if they show up I'll personally introduce them to the pavement. I've not been known to be subtle when my families honor is at stake. But you don't need that kind of distraction at that time, your thoughts should be with your father, your grieving mother, and your family.
Also Calvin I'm sure you do understand that when you bring a subject to a public forum you'll get a slew of different responses, so I hope you don't take offense to the ones that aren't positive.
Get a bouncer or two and let them handle this for you. It's the easiest way to deal with the uninvited. Good luck.
Indeed. I was the bouncer at my daughter's wedding. She didn't want her aunt there who had not been invited but had told family members she was going to show up. (She didn't.)
I don't think it is my place to police who comes or doesn't come to someone's funeral. However, I don't have to make it my job to make sure they are formally informed/invited, either.
It seems like at every funeral there is someone that everyone is hoping doesn't come. We've never had an open sit down reception after a funeral. We usually go back to the house with the rest of the immediate family. I think once we all went to our favorite pizza restaurant. I just wouldn't share what the plans are afterwards.
We've never had an open sit down reception after a funeral.
I'd never experienced it til I married my husband, who is Baptist. If the deceased is a member of the church, they will always host a big buffet meal afterwards in the fellowship hall, for family and friends specified by the core family of the deceased.
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