Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
OP, I concur with the quoted post above. I too just did a quick speed-reading scan of most of your posts going back to 6 years ago. Yes, they're full of drama, a lot of control issues on your part and a lot of gossip and angry hypercriticism about your family and most of the other people that your posts are all about in all walks of your life. Exactly like you have demonstrated in your first post in this thread.
So yes, you are over-reacting. If all the drama and criticisms you have posted about here online is any example of the type of drama and control you inject into your family members' lives then I can understand why your sister and brother in law didn't want you to know about her labour and the birth of the baby at the time it was happening. They know you well and wanted to avoid you bringing your drama and additional stress to the table at an already stressful time for them when your contributions would have been absolutely intolerable and not to be indulged under any circumstances. Keep in mind that the birth of their baby was all about them and their baby and their needs, it was not all about you and what you want and what you think was owed to you just because you're her sister.
Let it rest and consider the message you're getting from your family in all of this. And maybe you should take a really long hard look at yourself and re-evaluate how you present yourself to your family and other people in your life and then consider making some positive changes about yourself. If you don't cool it with all the melodrama, control issues and angry criticism you're going to end up alienating yourself from many more of the people who are most important to you.
.
Thanks for your extremely judgemental post but I’ll pass on taking your advice. I believe i posted once about my family, and it was actually in regards to my stepmom stirring the pot. Anyways, I take to this forum for unbiased advice BEFORE reacting. Everything else I posted about was regarding romantic relationships, and I actually keep that part of my life to myself and away from my family and friends. I absolutely appreciate you asking me if I involve my family in my so-called “drama” before passing judgement or any other qualifying questions to help you better understand things I post about or how I act away from this forum. So again, thank you.
How you can judge me TODAY based on posts from SIX YEARS AGO is a little crazy. How you can make assumptions that I inject control and drama into my family members when I didn’t say a single negative word to them about being upset is a little crazy.
You literally don’t even know what you’re talking about.
OP, were you really "singled out"? Did the father only have one brother or were there multiple siblings who weren't told that she was in the hospital? Is there only one uncle or multiple aunts and uncles who were not told? Is there only one grandma or other grandparents who were not told? Is it possible that some of those relatives found out by accident (like you did) and were really not "on the list"?
When my son & DIL had their babies they only told their parents and not their siblings that they were in the hospital in labor. When my various nieces and nephews were born my siblings did not tell their siblings until after the children were born. Ditto for when I had children. Hubby and I didn't even tell our parents until after the births.
Everyone is different. When my nephew had his first child, he and his wife told everyone (even put it on Facebook posts), when she went to the hospital "in labor". The first two times were even false alarms, and everyone knew.
How you can judge me TODAY based on posts from SIX YEARS AGO is a little crazy. How you can make assumptions that I inject control and drama into my family members when I didn’t say a single negative word to them about being upset is a little crazy.
Honey, you're choked and trying to understand why this event with your sister and brother in law happened and I'm simply putting it together for you and telling you why it happened. Now that I have said it I know you won't forget it and it's something you will think about whether you want to think about it or not. I have presented a case and you are now the judge and jury about your own self. Maybe it will do you some good after you've turned it all over in your mind.
I think you didn't read my previous post properly. I didn't say I had only read posts from 6 years ago. See, I'm a speed reader and I have what is called a memorious or eidetic or photographic memory. I scanned ALL of your threads starting from today and then going back all the way to 6 years ago. So my advice to you is not based on just your posts from 6 years ago, it's based on me putting together all the information and insights you've provided in all of your threads about yourself for the full past 6 years of your life. A full 6 years right up to today. Get it?
I understand all of what I read about you and I know all about all of the people that you wrote about and how you feel and think about them and your criticisms of them because you have a tendency to post way too much personal information about all of them, that's including about your family..... and of course about yourself. Perhaps you should jog your own memory and go back over your posts to remind yourself of all the things you have said about other people and your control issues and criticisms of them. Like your so-called "snake in the grass know it all" step mother and all the many, many men that you say you dislike so much and had failed encounters with and the reasons why you think they failed, for example.
Do you honestly think your whole family doesn't understand your true nature and your behaviour even better than I do now, and that they don't know what you are really like in your opinions and reactions about all of them?
Anyway, that is all I have to say on the matter and it's your prerogative to like it or lump it. You asked and I answered and what you do with the information I've provided about my insight into you is up to you. I don't care one way or the other because it's your problem, not mine, but I'll wish you good luck with your sister and I hope you can eventually get on a better footing with your snake in the grass step mother that you resent because she knows so much. I think she knows exactly how you feel about her (because you can't hide it from anyone) and I think she was playing a spiteful little head game with you when she phoned you, just to get back at you.
You will be much happier if you stop making your sister's major life event all about you. Stop focusing inward and focus on your new niece (who you havent even mentioned, other than "the baby"). Be helpful where you can, step back and let them enjoy this. Im sure they will include you when they are out of the hospital.
Keep doing EXACTLY what you are doing. Your family will eventually cut you off so they can breathe without your incessant drama. You don't like advice here? You then ignore and then start up another woe-is-me-everyone-is-treating -me-mean thread. You fight with your your family, your friends (until they run for the hills), your co-workers, and all of the revolving-door boyfriends. But, by no means, pay any attention to the advice you are given. Just keep that controlling drama going.
There is good advice in this thread, but you do not appear to be understanding it.
I believe that when we are kids, we are the responsibility of our parents to bring up. However, once we are adults, we are separate people, so I reckon we are lucky if we get along with our parents/siblings or if we consider them best friends. There is no obligation to be close - just like anyone else, neighbours, colleagues, etc you meet in life. Often the youngest will get far more attention than the oldest and so maybe the basis of this is some jealousy or resentment and that is showing in your attitude perhaps?
The advice you do not appear to be taking is that it is YOU who needs to understand yourself more. Do not focus on being hurt or taking offence as this shows you are only considering yourself and what you would like. Life is not about you. If you continue this focus, you will become a bitter and twisted old woman who is sad and lonely.
You know, emotions such as hurt, jealousy, resentment, etc are a choice we make and we choose whether to feel these things or not. You may not believe me, but examine the emotions a good book can evoke sadness, joy, happiness, etc. It is not the book which is making us feel these emotions, it is us ourselves who summon these feelings because it makes us enjoy the book more when we feel these thinsg. There is no-one else involved in emotions but ourselves.
My advice is to be grateful for what you have and focus on others rather than yourself. I am fairly certain that once you do, things will get better for you. Good luck.
I mean, out of our immediate family, I was the only person who wasn’t contacted. What do you consider singled out?
OK, so you have no other siblings and the baby's father has only one brother. If you look at it another way, you can say that they only told one sibling (his brother) out of all of the siblings.
Did they tell just one uncle out of all the aunts and uncles?
Did they tell just one grandparent out of all the grandparents?
Or, maybe you sister knew that you were going to be in meetings all day and didn't want to worry you or bother you?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
