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Don't you worry, I WILL send a card. No need for this tone.
Do you mind explaining the bolded part? How is it paranoia if I decide to re-evaluate this friendship and no its not simply because I didn't get invited to the wedding (I don't even like weddings!) but because I believe it was a lopsided relationship. It's not like I will cut off all ties with her, but more like I will be cautious of how much and what I share with her.
I don’t think you’ll need to concern yourself with cutting all ties as she will do it for you, now that she’s married. It’s odd anyway that the date was such a secret and you haven’t even heard from her. Send the card but months will go by and you won’t hear from her as you’re not on her radar. Furthermore should you try to plan an outing it will be weeks of back and forth and cancellations or rescheduling as you will never be a priority even for an hour lunch at the local cafe. There will always be something going on with her husband and family that will cancel your plans. Just the way it is, plus it sounds as if you’ve had more invested in this friendship than she had. Send the card, wish her well and move on.
Furthermore should you try to plan an outing it will be weeks of back and forth and cancellations or rescheduling as you will never be a priority even for an hour lunch at the local cafe. There will always be something going on with her husband and family that will cancel your plans.
How bitter this sounds. Nevermind that you know nothing of the sort.
What kind of world is this when we can't even treat our friends decently?
I would count myself lucky not to feel obliged to attend yet another wedding and reception! Have never really enjoyed the experience and expense. Send a card and call it good.
This.
I might send a congratulatory text because that's the way she communicated to me about this event. You aren't obligated to do anything but if you want to acknowledge her change of status you can certainly send a card.
She invited church friends instead of a close friend. That’s weird. Sounds like you care more than she does.
We don't know how close she is to those church friends. Many people have church friends who are as close as family, especially if they've attended the same church their whole life.
Does no one else find it weird that she wasn't even told the date of the wedding? I've had co workers get married that didn't invite me (and that's fine) but most people who are getting married are talking about it, the plans and especially the date. Even when one was essentially eloping we still all knew the weekend she was taking off to do it.
Whatever the reason, I tend to agree that you thought the two of you were better friends than she did.
Does no one else find it weird that she wasn't even told the date of the wedding? I've had co workers get married that didn't invite me (and that's fine) but most people who are getting married are talking about it, the plans and especially the date. Even when one was essentially eloping we still all knew the weekend she was taking off to do it.
Whatever the reason, I tend to agree that you thought the two of you were better friends than she did.
Yes I agree that not sharing the wedding date was weird, but knowing her, it's consistent with her behavior as she is a bit on the superstitious side and only shares stuff after it has happened to avoid jinxing due to 'evil eye'.
Now if I want to find another reason to be upset about (), this is one of it since she could be 'implying' that I might jinx the wedding due to my evil eye if I knew the exact date lol.
Yes I agree that not sharing the wedding date was weird, but knowing her, it's consistent with her behavior as she is a bit on the superstitious side and only shares stuff after it has happened to avoid jinxing due to 'evil eye'.
Now if I want to find another reason to be upset about (), this is one of it since she could be 'implying' that I might jinx the wedding due to my evil eye if I knew the exact date lol.
FWIW, a formal wedding invitation obviously includes the date. You were politely informed that you would not be receiving an invitation and why. Seems considerate to me. Did you ASK her the date? Maybe suggest that you'd love to send her flowers on the day? A gift? Anything? Maybe she had no idea that you would want the date knowing you wouldn't be attending. There was a lot more going on at the moment.
If she's been a friend who hasn't given you other signs that she doesn't value your friendship before or since this wedding why assume the worst now? The wedding happened in July, she's probably still dealing with the aftermath; thank you's, bills, setting up new living arrangements, etc. If it was me I'd reserve judgement until more than a couple of weeks had passed. If you were such good friends she may assume that you are above all this and wouldn't second guess your friendship because of it. The "church social friends" might not be so forgiving, ironically. Send a card saying you hope she had a great wedding and that you were thinking about her. She might appreciate the chance to share it with you, it will demonstrate that you aren't resenting all this, and by doing so you can re-connect. Or not.
Last edited by Parnassia; 08-06-2019 at 03:29 PM..
Everything you are saying is all in your head. You are guessing her thought process. She could have not even informed you until after the fact. Maybe for her limiting to just church friends made it an easy cut off.
My best friend was married and invited only 40 people. I didn’t make the cut off and was fine. Her wedding.
I didn't invite ANY of my friends to our wedding. In fact, I only told a few of them about it in advance. Only my immediate family was invited (and none of my husband's). I didn't want nor expect to receive anything from anyone (in fact, it was one of many reasons for skipping a traditional wedding) but I did receive a few cards and even monetary gifts from family and cards/flowers from friends. There were also many who sent nothing and it didn't even cross my mind. Not the same situation, but still. In your shoes I'd send a card, but I think you should do whatever feels right, Just don't evaluate your friendship based on the lack of a wedding invite.
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), this is one of it since she could be 'implying' that I might jinx the wedding due to my evil eye if I knew the exact date lol.
